February 1, 2007
Impact: Cage & Styles stand tall
By CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling
Is it Goldberg? Is it Brock Lesnar? Is it Hulk Hogan? Of course not. None of the aforementioned three are Christian Cage's secret consultant, however Cage has promised to drop another clue as to who his little helper is on this edition of Impact!
The show began with footage of Sting letting out Abyss' secret and subsequently getting the tar beaten out of him for it. They also showed footage of Abyss and Father James Mitchell from after last week's show looking to attack Sting in the ambulance, only to find his baseball bat and no Sting. This feud is moving along pretty strongly, the big secret could have been a little better, but oh well.
Mike Tenay and Don West hyped the show and sent it to Jeremy Borash in the back. Borash was outside of Jim Cornette's office like usual when he ran into Chris Sabin who was using a walker and wearing a bath robe to impersonate Jerry Lynn. Sabin went on a hilarious tirade mocking Lynn and his age. Sabin has so much untapped charisma it's not even funny.
Match One - Jay Lethal vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Alex Shelley vs. The Austin Starr
Good fast paced opener. Lethal and Dutt appear to still be teaming while Shelley and Starr must have just reformed their bond. Lynn was a lone soldier in this one. Sabin came out and distracted Lynn who had things going his way. Lynn went to hit the Cradle Shock piledriver on Starr, but Sabin -- in Depends and all -- hit the ring and tripped Lynn allowing Starr to pick up the win. Sabin and Starr attacked Lynn while Shelley filmed, Senshi hit the ring and came to Lynn's aid.
Winner Via Pinfall - The Austin Starr
Christian Cage and Tomko were walking around the back. Cage told Tomko to cater to his consultant and not him. Tomko didn't want to, but Cage ultimately convinced him. Cage was pretty funny here.
Footage was shown of LAX traveling to West Islip, NY and attacking Brother Ray's family at their catering hall. LAX beat down a chef as we were sent back to the Impact Zone. Tenay and West talked about how LAX crossed the line. Samoa Joe interrupted their banter and talked about being the unofficial enforcer at Against All Odds. Christian Cage interrupted him and said that both he and Joe knew the truth about who really was Cage's consultant. Cage again promised to drop a third hint to Kurt Angle later on in the show. Lots of rushed segments here.
In the back Jeremy Borash was still standing outside Cornette's office, now he was joined by VKM and Bob Backlund. James Storm and Miss Tennessee came by, follwoed by Eric Young. Young asked if anyone saw what happened with him and the condoms last week. Storm said of course. Young was stressed out and said that his friend was in big trouble. Christy Hemme ran by and barged into Cornette's office with VKM in hot pursuit. Too much at once.
James Mitchell and Abyss walked with Leticia outside the Impact Zone. Mitchell told Abyss to find Sting and bring him to him.
The Eric Young/Robert Roode/Ms. Brooks fiasco was recapped.
Match Two - Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks vs. Petey Williams w/ Gail Kim
Roode had the match in firm control until Williams started mounting a comeback, hitting his patented side Russian leg sweep. Ms. Brooks tried to get invovled, but was pulled off the apron by Kim. Storm hit the ring and superkicked Williams who was going for the Destroyer on Roode. This allowed Roode to pick up the victory as Jacqueline, yes they changed her name back inbetween segments, came out and attacked Kim. The double team on Williams ensued as Eric Young hit the ring and made the save. He even dropkicked Jacqueline. Roode and Brooks argued until Eric Young saved her and escorted her to the back. Roode looked on with a smile.
Winner Via Pinfall - Robert Roode
Back in Cornette's office, Kip James and Christy Hemme were bickering. Cornette heard enough and put Hemme in a match at Against All Odds against an opponent to be announced.
Ron Killings did some acting for his debut movie, A Few Good Black Men. Hilarious.
Mike Tenay and Don West announced that Lockdown would be taking place in St. Louis. Nice.
James Mitchell came out and cut a great promo about how Sting affected Abyss and about how bad off Abyss now was. Mitchell said that Sting would pay in one of two ways. Mitchell said he would either turn the tape of Sting assaulting him over to authorities and Sting would be arrested, or two, Sting would face off against Abyss at Against All Odds in a Prison Yard match. Mitchell said that terrible things happen in prison yards and Abyss would teach Sting all about them. Sting heard enough and appeared in the rafters wearing an Abyss mask as Mitchell looked on stunned.
A Christopher Daniels video package aired, with Daniels saying that there has to be a reason why he's not progressing as he should be.
Mike Tenay and Don West hyped the Main Event. Back from commercial break, Lance Hoyt cut a promo on Dale Torborg and AJ Pierzynski, saying that they would pay for their actions. Johnny Damon was shown sitting at ringside. Cool deal there.
Jeremy Borash stood in the back with Brother Devon who told LAX that they had made the feud a personal one. This is another solid feud in TNA that is being drawn out very well.
Match Three - "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe vs. "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles
Funny start to this one that saw AJ Styles hopping around like Muhammad Ali only to get blasted with a right hand shot from Joe. The match continued back and forth until Rhino interjected himself and caused a no contest. Rhino chased Styles to the back as Joe grabbed a chair and called out Kurt Angle. Why was it a no contest if Rhino only attacked Styles. That should be a DQ right?
Winner - No Contest
Kurt Angle was shown walking by Leticia on his way to the ring. Back from commercial break and Angle is in the ring. He told Joe that if he was going to screw him over, he should do it right in front of his face. Joe and Angle started brawling until Christian Cage came out and helped work over Angle. Cage went to show his alliance with Joe only to get decked by "The Samoan Submission Machine." AJ Styles came back out and helped Cage beat down Joe. Cage and Styles stood tall as the Impact recap played and Impact came to an end.
Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and is happy a real baseball player in Johnny Damon has graced the Impact Zone with his presence.