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Raw: One last rumble before the Rumble
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


It's only one week to the Royal Rumble and we have yet to see any of the tried and true first entrant or last entrant tricks. No lottery system, no battle royal for the 30th slot, no face getting the number one slot from the heel GM, nothing. WWE creative does know the Rumble is this Sunday?

Shawn Michaels kicks off the show from Lafayette, Louisiana, and he is fired up. Michaels says he felt something last week that he thought was gone. It was a feeling that he could overcome all odds. Michaels says he has tried to suppress those feelings, but now he can't. In fact, the showstopper is back, and believes he can win the WWE Title. HBK hopes that the Lord takes mercy on the souls of the 29 men that get in his way.

Edge comes out to spoil the party. Edge announces that he will win the Rumble, and Michaels will only feel failure. Edge also says he will win the WWE title at Wrestlemania. HBK tells Edge to shut up, and get in the ring. Edge heads to the ring, and Shawn comes out to get him. The fight spills into the crowd, and security tries to break them apart.

We return from break, and the fight has moved to the back. Jonathan Coachman jumps in between the two men to stop the fight. Coach orders HBK locked in his dressing room.

Match # 1 -- Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury w/ Johnny Nitro and Melina -- Raw vs. Smackdown Match

Jeff takes out MNM with a plancha before the bell. In the ring, Hardy hits a reverse bulldog, but Mercury responds with a kick to the gut. He then tosses Hardy out of the ring. Nitro pulls up the mat on the floor, but then gets tossed out of the math, along with Melina. Mercury takes down Hardy with a clothesline. Hardy ducks another clothesline, shoots off the ropes, and nails a flying forearm. Jeff then hits the Whisper in the Wind, and finishes off Mercury with a Twist of Fate.

Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy

After the match, Nitro and Melina rush to Joey's aid, as he is writhing in pain.

Vince McMahon is reading a letter in his office, when Coach breaks in with an update. Coach says he has the situation under control. Vince wants to know what Coach has planned. Coach wants to toss both men out of the arena; Vince has a different idea: a street fight.

Vince and Coach head to the ring. Vince pulls out a letter he has written to Donald Trump. Vince offers to show up on The Apprentice to boost the show's ratings. Vince then goes on the stroke his own ego, until the champ interrupts him. Cena tells Vince to ease up, and stop obsessing over Trump, because lately his obsessions haven't worked out. He obsessed over DX, and ended up in the wrong end of the Big Show. Cena thinks Vince is obsessed with Trump since they are both egomaniacs. Coach chimes in that Trump is a bigger egomaniac. And they are both shameless self-promoters. Coach says Trump is a bigger self-promoter, and just because Trump has more money. Vince cuts off Coach, and says Trump has nothing more then him. Vince tells Cena he needs a warm up match for Sunday, so tonight he'll take on Coach.

Match #2 -- Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

Super Crazy says he attacked Masters last week, because he is super and crazy; hence Super Crazy. Master whips Crazy into the corner, but Crazy counters with a cross body. Masters stomps away at Super Crazy on the mat. Masters then hits a back breaker, and locks in a neck vice. Masters tosses Crazy to the mat. Super responds with forearm shots to Masters, and then a reverse heel kick. Crazy follows with a low drop kick to the knees, and then a missile drop kick. A standing moonsault gets two count. Masters sidesteps a charge, and locks in the Masterlock. Super Crazy flips himself off the turnbuckle. Masters keeps the Masterlock on, but doesn't realize his shoulders are on the mat. The ref counts the three, and Super Crazy gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Super Crazy

Coach tries to suck up to boss. Vince tells Coach that the match is still on, and Vince leaves the building.

Maria is backstage with Kenny Dykstra. Kenny says he'll make history by being the youngest person to win the Rumble, and then headline Wrestlemania. Maria seems to doubt him, but Kenny says 2007 is the year of Kenny Dykstra.

Edge is getting dressed when Randy Orton drops in on him. Edge is surprised to see him. Orton is upset that Edge left him in the ring last week. Edge wants to know if Orton will help him, tonight. Orton says we'll have to see what happens.

Match #3 -- John Cena vs. Coach

Coach says he can't cancel the match, but he can add matches. Cena will have to face random superstars, Rumble style, and when Cena is eliminated the match will begin. Cade and Murdoch are the first out. Cade hits a swinging neckbreaker, and Murdoch punches the champ. Cade then drops Murdoch on Cena. The champ hits Murdoch with a low blow, and hits Cade with a shoulder block. Cena F-U's Murdoch out of the ring, and hits the five-knuckle shuffle on Cade. The World's Greatest Tag team enters, along with Viscera. Big Vis drops a leg on Cena, and the Great Khali enters the fray. Khali starts laying people out. He tosses Cade, Haas, and Benjamin from the ring, Rumble style. He then tosses Viscera, too. Cena tries a flying shoulder block off the top turnbuckle with no effect. Khali then tosses Cena. Khali whips Cena into the ring steps, and tosses him back in the ring. Khali nails the champ with a right hand, and walks out of the ring. Coach jumps in for the cover, but Cena gets a shoulder up. Cena challenges Coach, but is cut down from behind by Umaga. The big Samoan hits a sidewalk Slam, and then the Samoan Spike. Estrada sets a table up in the ring, and Cena is held down on it. Umaga climbs the turnbuckle, and splashes Cena through the table. Referees and medical staff check on the champ as we go to commercial.

Winner via DQ: John Cena

After the break, Cena is helped to the back. The champ refuses a gurney.

Match #4 -- Candice Michelle and Mickie James vs. Melina and Victoria

Candice hits a flying reverse elbow on Victoria to pick up the win.

Winner via pinfall: Candice Michelle and Mickie James

Match #5 -- Carlito w/ Torrie vs. Kenny Dykstra

Carlito kicks and chops at Kenny in the corner, and then slams his head off the turnbuckle. A clothesline sends Kenny to the mat. Dykstra dodges a corner charge, and Carlito leaps to the turnbuckle. Kenny pulls down Carlito by his hair. Kenny takes down Carlito with a clothesline. Carlito breaks free of a reverse chin lock. Kenny whips him off the ropes, and Carlito springboards over him. A head scissors sends Kenny to the mat, and he follows with a reverse elbow. Carlito tries a sunset flip, but Kenny drops on him. Carlito reverse the pin, but Kenny kicks out. Kenny with a quick roll-up, and then pulls on Carlito's tights to get the three count.

Winner via pinfall : Kenny Dykstra

Cryme Tyme are selling slots in the Royal Rumble. Super Crazy wants a number, and Cryme Tyme are happy to sell him one. And Super Crazy seems happy with his selection. Eugene wants a number, too. Shad sells him the number 30, but then talks him into buying number one. JTG asks if Eugene is in the Rumble. Shad says the numbers aren't even real, just like that painting they sold earlier. Ron Simmons looks at his purchase and has one thing to say. (You know it.)

Match #6 -- Shawn Michaels vs. Edge -- Street Fight

Michaels and Edge trade punches. HBK pulls off his belt and starts whipping Edge. Michaels goes for more weapons, and brains Edge with a trashcan. HBK follows be clotheslining Edge out of the ring. Michaels leaps over the ropes, only to get caught by a trashcan lid.

After the break, Michaels stops Edge from bringing in a ladder, and HBK is busted open. Edge grabs a chain, and drills HBK in the stomach. Edge brings in a ladder, and smashes it onto Michaels. Edge sets the ladder on ring steps in the ring. Edge picks up HBK for a powerbomb, but Michaels counters with fists. Edge and Michaels trade punches. HBK shoots off the ropes, and hits a forearm. HBK kips up and hits an inverted atomic drop. Shawn grabs the chain and wraps it around Edge's face. He drives Edge's face into the turnbuckle. Michaels hammers away at Edge and scoop slams him onto the ladder. HBK climbs the turnbuckle, but Edge cuts him off. HBK blocks a superplex, and tosses Edge off onto the ladder. HBK climbs the alternate turnbuckle, and drops the elbow into Edge's chest. Michaels warms up the band, but Edge ducks Sweet Chin Music, and counters into a modified electric chair. Edge looks for a spear, but HBK counters with a Thesz press. HBK grabs a chair, tattooing Edge in the skull. Michaels sets up the one-man con-chair-to, but is cut off by Orton and a RKO. Edge covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall : Edge

After the match, Orton helps his partner up, and then tosses him over the top rope. Orton stalks HBK, setting up another con-chair-to. Ric Flair makes the save, and nails a low blow. Kenny Dykstra comes after Flair, and tosses the Nature Boy. Carlito comes for Kenny, as HBK starts dealing out Sweet Chin Music. Kenny, Carlito, and Orton all get hit as Michaels clears the ring.


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  • Spectacular History of the AWA DVD Set
    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale thinks he has a chance at being the surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble.