So Bobby Lashley defends his ECW title again tonight against Rob Van Dam. Gee, the WWE couldn't possibly screw up this match twice in two weeks could they? COULD they?
The show, live from Peoria, Ill., starts with a video package hyping the title match later tonight and recapping last week's abomination. I also have a sick feeling
in my stomach as The Great Khali is also on the card tonight.
Brad Armstrong joins Tazz and Joey Styles at the broadcast position and stays for the entire show.
Match # 1 CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly
Punk goes for the Anaconda Vice several times in the first couple minutes, but to no avail. He misses a dive through the ropes to the outside and that's the beginning of the end to Punk's undefeated streak. Holly counters Punk's running knee in the corner into a Hotshot, throws Punk into the ring post and gets
the clean pin with the Alabama Slam.
Winner via pinfall: Hardcore Holly
Punk is no longer unbeaten. Does this mean his push is being stalled or is ECW building a major feud with Hardcore Holly? Or is Holly getting a tremendous push? These days, no one seems to have a clue.
Referee Mickey Henson approaches Test in the back to tell him his match is next. Test says he should be in the main event and that he's been overlooked. He adds he won't wrestle tonight (phew!) and that he has nothing to prove.
Elijah Burke is in the ring and says he wants to knock someone out. He challenges anyone from the crowd and out comes The Sandman. Sweet, we get a match. Or do we? Burke lands two left jabs and Sandman retaliates with two cane shots. Then I realize no ref is in the ring, Sandman's music hits and Burke heads to the back. Hell, I wish I could make a three-minute appearance and make Sandman's paycheque.
Next up is the puking portion of the show as we get a montage of, gulp, Khali highlights. This guy just purely sucks. He even sucks at bellowing.
Match # 2 Extreme Rules Tommy Dreamer vs. The
Great Khali w/ Daivari
What? Extreme Rules? No freaking way. Dreamer gets squashed here. Khali punches a street sign back into Dreamer's face and gets the foot-on-the-chest pin after a choke bomb.
Winner via pinfall: The Great Khali
RVD is in the back with Rebecca and says he'll regain the ECW belt because being ECW champ was the highlight of his career. So far, Rebecca has been the highlight of this show.
The WrestleMania Recall showed highlights from the WrestleMania 11 match in 1995 between Lawrence Taylor and Bam Bam Bigelow. LT, of course, won the match.
Dreamer is shown getting to his feet, yet the crowd doesn't seem to care. Nor do I.
Match # 3 Kevin Thorn w/Ariel vs. "The Reject" Shannon Moore
Moore doesn't even get to walk down the aisle to his music; he's already in the ring. Decent action, but decent is being generous. Thorn sits Moore on the top rope, stares into his eyes and wins with his top rope Stunner-like move, now called the Dark Kiss, hence the stare.
Winner via pinfall: Kevin Thorn
Ariel was in plaid this week. Awesome.
Lashley is stretching in the back down some storage hallway.
Kelly Kelly will return next week and a video is shown hyping the fact she's an exhibitionist.
Match # 4 ECW World Title Match ECW Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam
Lashley's entrance music has been modified somewhat. It now has a more metal kick and less bass.
After several missed moves, the two have a stand-off and, of course, a commercial break. Back from break, Lashley is in control and sets up RVD for the spear. Van Dam trips Lashley into the second turnbuckle and goes to work. He lands his split-legged moonsault
and then the kick off the top rope. Lashley comes back with a Torture Rack, only to have RVD counter that into a windmill kick and then Rolling Thunder.
On the floor, Lashley ends up on the table and I'm getting a terrible case of déjà vu. Van Dam goes to the ring apron and goes for his spin kick, but Lashley moves and RVD crashes hard onto the table.
The champ brings RVD back inside and hits the delayed suplex and measures Van Dam for the spear and nails it. Lashley doesn't go for the cover and instead opts to wait for RVD to get up. Lashley winces about three seconds too early and in comes Test with a chair shot. Test clocks Lashley across the melon and then throws the chair at RVD, who falls to the outside.
Winner via DQ: Bobby Lashley
Yep, another main event ruined. To heck with this I'm watching Smackdown.
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Matt Mackinder saw the December To Dismember DVD yesterday at a retail electronics store, laughed, and passed on spending another $20 on WWECW. The $40 he spent on that pay-per-view was in itself $40 too much. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.