October 24, 2006
Raw: The champs are all here
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
With the Pay-Per-View formerly known as Taboo Tuesday still weeks away, Monday Night RAW broadcasts from Chicago. Hopefully we won't be seeing anymore "celebrities" for a while.
WWE strokes its ego by showing the mainstream media coverage of K-Fed getting beat up last week. And Federline has come back for more. Mr. Britney Spears walks to the ring amid a chorus of boos. (I'll set the over/under on his album debut at top 100.) K-Fed says he wants payback. (Doesn't this guy have anything better to do? Never mind...) Federline brings out King Booker. ECW Champion Big Show also makes his way to the ring. Show says he will win Cyber Sunday; Booker disagrees. John Cena enters the arena to say his piece. Cena makes fun of his opponents, and tells Booker his status as a black man has be revoked for calling K-Fed's album a treasure. Ron "Faarooq" Simmons joins Cena on stage and says one thing to Booker, "DAMN!" Cena then tells off K-Fed.
Match # 1 – Melina vs. Mickie James – Women's Title Tournament
Melina jumps Mickie before the bell. James recovers and tosses Melina by her hair across the ring. Melina nails a suplex, and hooks the leg. James kicks out. Melina locks in a submission, and Mickie fights out with kicks. James takes down Melina with a clothesline. Melina counters a DDT attempt and hits a neck breaker. Mickie James hits a head scissors, and follows with a swinging DDT. Mickie covers for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Mickie James
Match #2 – Jeff Hardy and Carlito vs. Chris Masters and Shelton Benjamin
Benjamin backs Hardy into the corner. The IC champ fights his way out, only to be tossed outside the ring. Masters slams Hardy on the outside. Masters tags in, hitting a double-under hook suplex. Shelton tags back in, locking in a sleeper. Hardy elbows out. Benjamin misses a clothesline, and Hardy hits the whisper in the wind. Carlito gets the hot tag, and hits the springboard reverse elbow. Carlito follows with a flapjack, as Hardy mule kicks Masters. Carlito hits a senton. Hardy goes for a Twist of Fate; Masters counters, pushing Hardy into Carlito. Benjamin rolls up Carlito and gets the pin with some help from the ropes.
Winner via pinfall: Chris Masters and Shelton Benjamin
After the match, Hardy and Carlito argue. Benjamin and Masters try to jump the two, but the faces clean house.
Todd Grisham interviews Edge and Randy Orton. Edge says DX had to resort to crotch chops and chair shots to win. Orton says it was a typical match. The two go on to talk about the choices for the ref at Cyber Sunday. Vince, Coach, and Eric Bischoff will watch Orton's match from ringside tonight.
WWE superstars talk about Cena's movie.
Nitro gives Federline props for his work on CSI. Nitro also says Cena sold 500,000 albums, and K-Fed will do that in a week. Nitro says he will take care of Cena, and K-Fed has to get his.
(Commercial for the new controversial game Bully, which I happen to be playing now. Think Grand Theft Auto in the schoolyard minus the cars. It's a great game. And why am I telling you this? On the off chance someone from Rockstar Games reads this, and offers me some free stuff.)
Match #3 – Nitro w/ Melina and Kevin Federline vs. John Cena
Cena blocks a punch, and smashes Nitro into the turnbuckle. The champ hits a fisherman's suplex, as Melina and K-Fed jump on the apron. Nitro takes control with the distraction. Nitro locks in a neck vice. Cena fights out, but then misses a cross body block. Cena is tossed over the top ropes to the floor. K-Fed slaps the champ, but Nitro hits a cross body on Cena. Back in the ring, Nitro hits a bulldog, but cannot get the pin. Nitro locks in a sleeper and a body scissors. Cena stands, and drop Nitro. The champ hits a shoulder block, and a clothesline. Cena drops Nitro with a side suplex, and follows with the five-knuckle shuffle. Nitro is the driven to the mat with an F-U from Cena. The champ covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena
After the match, Cena stalks K-Fed back up the ramp. K-Fed trips, but Big Show and Booker T come after Cena. Cena is beat up by Booker and Big Show. Big Show rolls Cena into the ring. Show choke slams Cena to mat. Booker follows with a Book End on the Big Show, and then hits an axe kick on Cena.
Match #4 – Cryme Tyme vs. The Spirit Squad (Mikey and Nicky)
Mikey beats down JTG in the corner. Mikey then nails a back suplex. JTG fights his way out of a headlock, and tags in Shad. The big guy cleans house. Johnny tries to jump Shad, but Shad catches him in mid-air and drops him over the top rope. Shad sets up Mikey and JTG hits the G-9 with Shad to get the win.
Winner via pinfall: Cryme Tyme
After the match, Kenny drops a leg on Mikey. He says he is the most talented member on the squad. Kenny says things haven't been the same since they lost to Flair. Kenny says he'll beat Flair, by himself.
Eugene is in the ring with the T-Shirt gun, when Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupts. Estrada says Sandman, Chris Benoit, and Kane have accepted the open challenge. We get to choose, but tonight Estrada chooses Eugene, as Eugene accidentally shoots Estrada in the junk. Umaga destroys Eugene.
Hacksaw tends to Eugene. Duggan tells Eugene he is too nice and to let out the animal. Eugene snaps and beats on Hacksaw.
Match #5 – Kenny vs. Ric Flair
So much for going alone. Kenny has four squad members in tow. So Flair brings out some reinforcements: Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper, and Dusty Rhodes. Flair chops Kenny in the corner. Kenny nails a missile drop kick, and goes for a figure four. Flair blocks it, and takes Kenny down. The squad distracts Flair, and Kenny rolls him up.
Winner via pinfall: Kenny
After the match, the Spirit Squad fights with Flair's boys, but Kenny is nowhere to be seen.
Todd Grisham interviews DX, who uses the time to pimp their merchandise.
Coach is talking with Bischoff, when Vince approaches. Vince tells Eric the past is the past, and they should be able to work together. Vince wants Eric's help against DX, in exchange for plugging his book. Vince gets an important call, and asks Bisch to take care of things during the match.
Match #6 – Randy Orton w/ Edge and Lita vs. Triple H w/ Shawn Michaels
Triple H punches Orton into the corner, and then hits a neck breaker. Hunter drops a knee into Orton's face. Triple H then drills Orton with a spine buster. Orton ducks a clothesline, and responds with a standing drop kick. Orton punches Hunter in the corner. Triple kicks his way out, but Orton counters with a DDT. Orton stomps on HHH, and then drops a knee. Orton runs into a high knee, and then is hit with a face buster. Lita grabs Hunter by the ankle, and Triple H pulls her up to the apron. Orton hits a back breaker. HBK jumps on the apron, but is knocked off when Orton collides with the ref. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but is speared by Edge. HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on Coach, as Bischoff slips a chair into the ring. Orton plasters HHH with the chair. Orton covers as the ref crawls back into the ring. The ref counts three to give Orton the win.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Email Dale @ Dplummer627@yahoo.com.