September 8, 2006
Impact: Getting to the truth of things
By CHRIS SOKOL -- SLAM! Wrestling
Is Jeff Jarrett a liar? Some may say yes, others may say no, but as far as Impact is concerned, a machine will determine the true, or at least, scripted answer to that question. That's right, Jeff Jarrett will be put on trial by Jim Cornette and must take a polygraph test to determine what he knew about his recent help in winning title matches. Can you smell the ratings?
The show started off by hyping the impending polygraph test. Christian Cage is still wrestling Ron "The Truth" Killings by the way.
Jeremy Borash stood by with Jeff Jarrett and asked him about the polygraph test. Jarrett was ranting like usual, until Eric Young intervened, sporting his brand new black hair. Young told Jarrett he knew all the tricks when it came to taking polygraph tests. Jarrett liked the idea and took Young aside to ask him what he knew. Young's popularity isn't slowing down, keep the focus on him and he will flourish.
Mike Tenay and Don West did their usual spiel and led into...
Match One - LAX ("The Notorious 187" Homicide and Hernandez) w/ Konnan vs. The Mack Brothers
Jeff Hardy's protege Kirby Mack posed as one of the Mack Brothers, ultimately getting destroyed by LAX. LAX is at their peak, bottom line.
Winners Via Pinfall - LAX ("The Notorious 187" Homicide and Hernandez)
Post Match - Konnan got on the mic and talked about how AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels and AMW were featured on the No Surrender poster, but they weren't. Styles and Daniels hit the ring and cleaned house, Daniels climbed the X Division structure and held one of the tag belts, symbolizing their dominance.
Mike Tenay then took over to explain the Jeff Jarrett polygraph test. It's a lie detector test, how hard is that to understand? If he lies, he's screwed. They showed the preparation for the test and showed Mark "Slick" Johnson hand Jim Cornette a cup of something as Cornette paced around.
Another Bobby Roode vignette came on, this time he was shown talking to Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Heenan offered Roode free dinner, and a envelope full of cash. This is one of TNA's greatest moves when it comes to Bobby Roode. They are making him seem like the biggest thing in TNA and that's great. They are really working this the right way.
In the back, Jeremy Borash found himself in the X Division locker room with Jay Lethal, Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt who were watching Jackass The Movie 2. Jerry Lynn walked in and said they needed to talk about winning more matches. Sabin explained that he was busy training for his No Surrender match with Senshi. Lynn looked in disbelief and walked off. This gimmick could be done right, as long as they dont start giving nicknames like, "Jackass" Jay Lethal or stuff like that.
Match Two - AMW, Matt Maverick and Frankie Kazarian vs. The James Gang, Norman Smiley and Shark Boy
An eight man tag squash. That's unique. The James Gang didn't get to finish their opening bit, as they were cut off by AMW, Maverick and Kazarian. Storm superkicked Smiley, with Harris getting the pin. AMW got mad at each other after the match and went their separate ways again.
Winners Via Pinfall - AMW, Matt Maverick and Frankie Kazarian
In the back, Young was calming down Jarrett as he was getting strapped up to the lie detector. The administrator of the test came in and asked Jarrett his name and if he was the NWA World Heavyweight Champ. Young began firing at the administrator, complaining that Jarrett had to answer those questions, claiming that Jarrett didn't have to do that. Borash shook his head and sent it back to Tenay and West.
Mike Tenay did a sit down interview with "The Franchise" Shane Douglas and The Naturals. They teased a split, but Douglas again asked them if they really wanted to go to the top, which of course, The Naturals did. This has been working out pretty well as well.
Another A. Starr promo comes up. They get really pissed at Austin Aries then bring him back with a huge push. Yeah, that makes sense.
A Raven promo came on next. Raven talked about forming his own group of misfits. He said Brother Runt made the cut, but he was going to test Abyss on the next edition of Impact in a Hangman's Noose Match. What was that about the Flock coming back together?
Match Three - "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage vs. Ron "The Truth" Killings
Killings started off, knocking Cage to the floor and hitting a plauncha on him. Back from commercial break and Cage is in firm control. Cage held the control for a bit, before accidentally hitting the ref. Killings took down Cage, but the ref was down. Cage came back with a kick and an Unprettier for the win.
Winner Via Pinfall - "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage
Post Match - Cage grabbed a couple of chairs, but Rhino hit the ring and chased him off. He said Cage ended their friendship last week and at No Surrender he would feel the Gore! Gore! Gore!
In the back, Borash got the results of the polygraph test and confirmed that Jarrett answered all the questions. Jarrett shook Borash's hand and proclaimed his innocence. He said he was going to take off for six to eight months to rest up and train. Jarrett and Young walked off with glee.
They played a hype video for the Ultimate X match between Styles/Daniels and LAX at No Surrender.
Jim Cornette came out and booked Christian vs. Rhino at No Surrender. Cornette said that he had the polygraph test results and wanted Jarrett to come out. Jarrett came out with Young and was told that if he found any mistruth in Jarrett's answers, he would pay. Cornette talked about the three big questions. Question one was, if Jarrett knew about Cage's involvement in his match with Sting. Jarrett answered no and the test confirmed it. Question two was, if Jarrett knew about Earl Hebner's involvement in the Slammiversary screwjob. Jarrett said no and the test confirmed it. The final question was, if Jarrett was in with Larry Zybysko. Jarrett said no and the test said he lied. Cornette said he couldn't force Jarrett to defend his title at No Surrender, but he was picking a bunch of fans to surround the ring for a lumberjack strap match, where Jarrett will face none other than Samoa Joe. Joe came out with a strap in hand, smiling and pointing at a scared Jarrett.
Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and feels as though Cryme Tyme = LAX in a comical form.