August 30, 2006
ECW: Heyman pins Sabu
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
So tonight, Paul Heyman will supposedly tangle with Sabu in an "Extreme Rules" match. Hmmm. The evil boss taking on a frustrated babyface who wants the title. Has this angle been used before in, oh I don't know, WW(F) circa 1998-1999?
Tonight's show from Reading, PA, starts out with a recap of Sabu's post-match attack on The Big Show last week. Show bled heavily and blood seems to be the only thing reminiscent of the old ECW in the current version.
Heyman is in the back saying he'll punish Sabu and even though he's never wrestled in an ECW ring, he will pin Sabu tonight. With the match being "Extreme Rules," something tells me it won't be a straight-up one-on-one encounter. We'll see.
Match # 1 -- Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly
I can't even tell you how happy I am to see Hardcore Holly back and in great shape after nearly dying from a staph infection months back.
Early on, RVD counters the Alabama Slam, but Holly flips Van Dam to the floor. Back inside, Holly shows no effects of his layoff with a solid standing dropkick. After a windmill kick and Rolling Thunder, Van Dam misses the Five Star Frog Splash. RVD grabs a chair and blasts Holly with it twice inside the ring and then once outside, knocking the former Sparky Plugg in amongst the paying customers.
Winner via DQ: Hardcore Holly
Here we go again. Rene Dupree is in the back on an exercise bike and says, yet again that he's the most extreme in ECW. Yawn.
The Big Show comes to the ring and says that DX's fate will be sealed at Unforgiven. But in the meantime, the ECW champion challenges both Shawn Michaels and Triple H to a Handicap Match next week on ECW. Show adds that he can't be beaten and leaves the ring.
It's now Shannon Moore time. "The Reject," who must be a fan of 1980s rap, echoes Public Enemy and tells us to "fight the power." Anything you say, pal.
Match #2 -- C.M. Punk vs. Stevie Richards
Joey Styles and Tazz try to hype this match saying Richards should be Punk's toughest opponent to date. A decent back-and-forth match, too. Punk takes the win with a double underhook suplex into a back breaker and then a Yuranagi into his Anaconda Vice. Richards fights for a bit, but ultimately taps to help Punk remain undefeated.
Winner via submission: C.M. Punk
A behind the scenes look at John Cena's movie, The Marine is then shown. Cena says the movie kicks ass and based on the previews, I'd tend to agree with that statement.
Matt Striker comes to the ring and wonders why the fans don't cheer him, but do cheer The Sandman. 3-2-1 -- Sandman's music hits and he heads to the ring. After a beer guzzle (or as Striker called it, "giggle water"), Sandman charges Striker only to meet the chalkboard face-first. Striker batters Sandman with a stapler and exits, leaving a bloody Sandman in the ring seething.
It was at this point where I told my wife that I guess WWE reads my recaps because we hadn't yet seen Kelly Kelly.
Balls Mahoney is in the back and is interrupted by, gulp, Kelly Kelly. She asks if Balls had seen Mike Knox and when Balls says no, she flashes Mahoney.
My wife then mocked me saying, "They listen to me ... they read my reports ... "
Styles and Tazz look back on Kurt Angle's career and Tazz drops a bit of nostalgia by saying his first match in WWE was against Angle at the 2000 Royal Rumble. (Tazz won with the Tazzmission.)
Sabu cuts a promo in the back saying he'll massacre Heyman tonight.
Match #3 -- Extreme Rules -- Sabu vs. Paul Heyman
Heyman's personal enforcers attack Sabu, but Sabu fights them off. He sets up a chair and readies to attack Heyman, dressed in a jogging suit and bright white kicks. Instead he scales the ropes and leaps into Show's arms at ringside. Sabu counters into a DDT on the floor. The henchmen attack again and along with Show, triple team Sabu inside and outside the ring.
Sabu is a bloody mess and Heyman to Sabu's face screams over and over that he made Sabu. Heyman punches Sabu and runs around the ring proclaiming "I've got his blood on my hands." Show dominates Sabu for a couple minutes until RVD jumps the enforcers and then nails two Van Daminators on Show. Heyman tries to revive Show and Sabu attacks from behind and hits an Arabian Facebuster. Hardcore Holly is next out and attacks RVD, putting him through a table with the Alabama Slam in a cool spot.
Show puts Sabu in the Cobra Clutch/backbreaker maneuver and then downs Sabu with his swinging leg drop. The henchmen and Show roll Heyman back into the ring and he covers Sabu for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Paul Heyman
Holly brings a table into the ring and Sabu goes through the wood courtesy of a Show chokeslam. Heyman again gets in Sabu's face on the mat and Show does the DX crotch chop over Sabu as the show ends.
My recurring question remains: Why are there
disqualifications in ECW?
Matt Mackinder's son, Ethan, turned a year old Tuesday. Happy Birthday, Booger! He was long off to slumberland when ECW came on, though, so Daddy didn't ditch E-Mack for ECW. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.