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COMMENT





Raw: Melina gets to Foley
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


After the let down that was SummerSlam, Monday Night Raw comes to us from Bridgeport, Connecticut. And here's a first, there are no rematches scheduled for tonight's show.

Edge heads to the ring, but without his title belt that he successfully defended last night, and without Lita. Edge tells the crowd that he's been waiting for this night his entire life. Everyone that bought tickets for tonight's show was wrong; he is still the WWE champion. Edge then introduces Lita, who is standing on the docks on Long Island Sound with the WWE Title. Edge wants to get rid of all traces of John Cena, so he suggests a burial at sea. Lita tosses the belt into the ocean. Edge ushers in a new Rated "R" era, and his new belt is lowered from the ceiling in a plume of smoke. (The new belt is the same as the old, just with a Rated R in the middle.) Edge then challenges anyone to step up, and become the next chapter in his story.

And someone does step up, Jeff Hardy! He gets in the champ's face, and tells him he talks too much. Edge is shocked to see Hardy, and says he won't make a comeback at his expense. Hardy punches Edge, and hits a mule kick. Jeff climbs the ropes, but Edge rolls from the ring.

Match # 1 -- The Spirit Squad vs. The Highlanders, Eugene, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Johnny works Eugene into the corner, but Eugene fights his way out, and hits the airplane spin. Robby tags in, and slams Johnny into Rory's forehead. Johnny hits a spin kick, a tags in Kenny. After a jumping elbow, Mikey tags in. Robbie gets caught in the heel corner, and then Nicky nails him with a flying punch. After a missed flying leg drop by Kenny, Rory gets the hot tag and cleans house. All eight men hit the ring, and the Highlander hit a springboard suplex to get the win.

Winner by pinfall: The Highlanders, Eugene, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Edge is looking for Vince, but instead finds Coach. Edge wants Jeff Hardy, but he doesn't want to put the title on the line. Coach says to consider it done. Vince and Shane show up, and Vince isn't happy. Shane explains that they didn't lose last night, because Shane was the legal man. Vince says this isn't over yet.

Todd Grisham is with Randy Orton. The Legend Killer says he beat Hogan, and he got screwed. Tonight, he'll use all that aggression to beat on Ric Flair. Carlito interrupts and says it was cool when Hogan got his hand raised. Orton reads Carlito the riot act, I'm a former world champion, Legend Killer, show respect, blah, blah, blah.

Triple H shows up at an undisclosed location. He says on the way to Bridgeport, they saw Vince's private jet, so they stopped by the airport to see it, although, there was a little incident. After taking a tour of the jet, HBK accidentally scratched the paint. Triple H says Vince won't notice it. The camera pulls away to show a green "DX" painted on the side of the jet, and the tail fin. Back in his office, Vince is so upset he knocks the TV to the floor.

Match #2 -- Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria starts with a right hand, and Trish respond with a flurry of punches. She drop kicks Victoria out of the ring, and follows with a Thesz press to the floor. Trish goes for the Stratusfaction, but Victoria counters into a back breaker. Trish counters a side slam into a head scissors. Trish follows with a 'rana off the top turnbuckle. Trish slips out of the Widows Peak, and hits Stratusfaction for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Trish Stratus

Vince's music hits immediately, as Trish and Victoria scurry from the ring. Vince runs downs the crowd for DX's actions. Vince says he has called the police and they are on their way to the airport. After the commercial Vince is ready to watch DX get arrested, but DX is no longer at the airport. Instead, Triple H and HBK have made their way to the Worldwide Headquarters. DX stand atop the building a reveal a giant "DX" sprayed on the building. Vince is stunned, and needs help leaving the ring.

Vince and Shane run into Mick Foley. Mr. McMahon doesn't appreciate being called Vince. Foley says he isn't having a great night either. Vince says tonight Foley has to join a certain club, or someone is getting fired.

Match #3 -- Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy with a baseball slide, as Edge tries to enter the ring. Hardy then hits a flying bodypress over the top rope. Edge tosses Hardy under the bottom rope, and tosses him into the ring steps. Edge stretches Hardy's back around the ring post. Hardy fights his way out of the corner, nailing a DDT. Edge counters a Twist of Fate, with an inverted DDT. Hardy is whipped into the corner, and pulls over a corkscrew senton splash. Hardy ducks a clothesline and hits the Twist of Fate, and connects with a swanton bomb. Hardy covers, only to have Lita pull Edge from the ring.

Winner via DQ: Jeff Hardy

Cena hits the ring, and fights Edge over the security barrier. Cena fights Edge through the back, and both exit the arena.

A "Vince McMahon Kiss my Rear" retrospective is interrupted by Edge and Cena brawling outside. Cena tosses Edge into a tree, and chokes him with a hose. Cena attacks from behind, and tosses Edge into the dock railing. Cena finally tosses Edge off the dock and into the Long Island Sound. Cena announces he isn't going anywhere.

Melina approaches Mick Foley, thanking him for saving her last night. Foley says he doesn't know what he's going to do tonight. Melina thanks Mick for being a mentor and friend.

Match #4 -- Johnny Nitro w/ Melina vs. Kane -- Intercontinental Title Match

Before the match starts, JR informs us the Harbor Patrol has pulled Edge out of the water. Kane kicks Nitro in the face, but Nitro escapes from a side slam. Nitro mounts Kane in the corner, but the Big Red Machine just pushes him off. Kane then swats away a springboard dropkick. Kane climbs the turnbuckle and hits a clothesline, when Umaga assaults Kane.

Winner via DQ: Kane

Umaga nails Kane with the Samoan Spike. Umaga and Estrada celebrate, as Kane sits up. Umaga kicks him in the chest, and head butts him. Umaga climbs the turnbuckle, and drives the spike into Kane's throat from off the second turnbuckle. Kane starts bleeding from the mouth, as he clutches his throat.

We get a first look at John Cena's movie The Marine. The term "suspension of disbelief" definitely comes into play here. Over the top action is an understatement.

Match #5 -- Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Flair punches away at Orton, but Orton counters with a suplex. Orton clothesline Flair over the top rope. Orton dropkicks Flair off the apron, and then suplexes the Nature Boy on the outside. Orton whips Flair into the steps. Back in the ring, Orton stomps away on Flair. Flair chops away at Orton. The Legend Killer hits the RKO out of nowhere, and pins Flair.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

After the match, Orton continues to assault Flair. The ref orders Orton to stop, and then reverses his decision.

Winner via reversed decision: Ric Flair

Orton sizes up Flair, but Carlito runs in to make the save. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow, and Orton runs off. Now, that's cool!

Vince and Shane are in the ring, as Foley comes to ring with Melina. Foley says he doesn't need this job, so he won't pucker up. Mick tells Vince to go ahead and fire him. Vince responds by saying he never said anything about firing Mick. Vince said someone is getting fired and that someone is Melina. Foley says no one is worth kissing that, except for her. Foley orders Vince to drop his pants and wastes no time planted one on his butt. Vince gloats, as Melina turns on Mick. She hits him with a low blow, and then tells him he's fired.

Vince and Shane head to their limo. Once outside, Vince tells Shane that DX has may have broken his spirit. The two get in the limo and drive off, only to have the back axel ripped off by a chain. Vince demands to know what the driver did, only to turn and find a green "DX" sprayed on his limo. Vince kicks the car, and breaks down screaming as the show ends.


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    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is mounting a salvage effort to recover the old spinner belt from the Long Island Sound. If you would like to join him contact Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.