RAW: Triple H taken out by the McMahons
DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
We're less then two weeks away from SummerSlam, and there only three matches booked for the show. Will progress be made in Memphis, Tennessee, or will the card shrink as Hulk Hogan may be too hurt to perform. (More on that later.)
Vince and Shane kick off the show with their best (I would hope not!) Elvis impersonations. They
also make some bad puns with Elvis's songs. Vince has also brought in extra security for tonight's show.
Match # 1: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James
The match barely gets underway when Edge and Lita interrupt.
Edge whines that as Champ he still gets no respect, and that he is going to take over RAW. The champ cries about facing Cena in Cena's
hometown, and the match stipulations. Edge is upset that he isn't featured in the SummerSlam poster, and that Lita isn't on the cover of WWE magazine.
But guess who is? Trish. Lita calls her a no talent slut, and Trish jumps her. Edge separates the two, and Lita spears Trish. Edge picks her up, as Carlito runs in to make the save. Lita pushes Trish into her savior. Edge then spears Carlito.
Nitro and Melina join JR and King at the announce postion. Melina does a split on the table, much to the King's enjoyment.
Match #2: Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane - Intercontinental Title
Number One Contenders Match
(Winning he IC belt fits Kane's character how? There's absolutely no way Kane is winning to set up a Nitro vs. Kane IC Title match at SummerSlam.)
Kane grabs Shelton off the top rope, and sends him to the mat with a chokeslam. Kane covers for the pin.
Winner by pin fall: Kane
John Cena heads to the ring to issue his rebuttal to Edge's comments. Cena syas Edge was featured on the poster, but his face scares small children. Cena then reveals the fact that Edge is prominently featured on the cover of Crying Bitch Illustrated. Cena calls out Edge, but gets the Coach, instead.
Coach informs Cena that he will not face Edge tonight, as the champ is booked in a mixed tag match. Instead, Cena will have to face Viscera.
Match #3: Viscera vs. John Cena
Viscera talks some trash to Lillian Garcia
at ringside, but is pinned after Cena gets him up for the F-U.
Winner via pin fall: John Cena
Vince tells security that Shawn Michaels wants to hurt his son and Shane says HBK is out to get his dad. Shane says he needs to make a phone call, but denies an escort.
Trish is still pretty heated about what happened with Lita and Edge. Carlito tries to calm her down, but Trish just plants a kiss on him, instead.
Shane-O is in the hallway calling out
HBK. The Highlanders haven't seen him, and neither have Candice or Torrie. Shane walks back into the office, as HBK jumps him from behind. Security swarms him and takes HBK to the ground.
After the break, HBK is apologizing to the guards. Apparently he hit one of them (I didn't see it). And now he has to go downtown. Triple H tries to plead for Shawn, but the law won't hear it.
Match #4: Edge and Lita vs. Carlito and Trish
After a hurricanrana to Lita, Edge aims a Spear at Carlito. Carlito dodges it, only to have Edge Spear Trish. Carlito and Edge fight to the
outside. Lita crawls over and covers Trish to get the win.
Winner via pin fall: Edge and Lita
Jerry Lawler has left the announce table to get ready for his match with Randy Orton, and JR informs us of Hogan's knee injury. Todd Grisham informs the crowd that Hogan has a torn meniscus, and the SummerSlam match is in question. Randy Orton horns in, saying Hogan doesn't want to face him.
(As you know, I am not a Hogan fan. I'm not buying this injury. I tore the meniscus in my right knee six years ago. All I need was a knee brace, and I still worked and played hockey
on it. Granted I'm 25 years younger then Hogan, but he's in much better shape then I ever was. He can work through it. It would seem to me that Hogan is playing politics, instead of putting over the younger talent.)
Ric Flair heads to the ring with a copy of Foley is Good. Flair rips it to shreds, drops a few elbows on it, and tosses it into the crowd. Flair then says deep down Foley is a fan of the Nature Boy. Foley walks out and says it's true. The match between Flair and Funk in 1989 was the greatest he ever saw. But since that fateful day in 1994, Foley vowed he would never do anything for Flair. And a match between the two would bring out the best in both men, but Foley won't do it. Flair begs Foley to accept, and asks Foley if he's comfortable turning his back on his hardcore legacy. Foley relents and agrees to a match...an I QUIT match!
Match #5: Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler
Lawler blocks an RKO, and nearly pushes Orton into the ref. The ref ducks, allowing Orton the opportunity to kick Lawler in the royal jewels. With the King doubled over, Orton hits the RKO, and covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Randy Orton
It's Diva Search time. Erica is gone. If I had to make a pick, it was her I wanted
Match #6: Triple vs. Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada and Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon
Different opponent; same result. Trips tries to hold his own, but Vince, Shane, and Umaga are too much. Hunter sets up Vince for a Pedigree, but Umaga cuts him down with the Samoan Spike.
Winner via pin fall: Umaga
After the match, Vince and Shane work over Trips. Vince
adds insult to injury be hitting Triple H with his own Pedigree. Vince then mocks Triple H's posse in the ring as the show goes to black.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for Slam! Wrestling since 2003. Dale apologizes for the shortness of the match coverage, but there were some technical difficulties in the Plummer household. (Re: power outages.) In the meantime Dale has been wondering how a Cuban hooked up with a Samoan, email your theories to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.