August 1, 2006
Raw: Orton Knows Best
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
Things are starting to heat up as SummerSlam approaches, and I'm not just talking about the weather. Vince, Shane and Triple H are all back on RAW after the birth of Stephanie's baby, but someone will have the heat brought down on them in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
Vince and Shane start the show from the Continental Airlines Arena. The McMahons say they couldn't be happier, and the party will continue till SummerSlam, where he and Shane will tag against D-X. D-X interrupts, but they do congratulate Vince. Triple H mentions that he has come across a McMahon family album. First up is a picture of baby Vince. And then they find a picture of baby Shane. Triple H then reveals an exclusive picture of the new baby. She is wearing a "D-X rules" shirt and has Triple H's face. D-X has some advice for the new baby: Suck it!
Each of the Diva wannabes gets to cut a promo, tonight. Ugh!
Match # 1 – Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro w/ Melina – Triple Threat Intercontinental Title Match
Carlito hits Shelton with a thumb to eye, and then kicks Nitro in the face with a baseball slide, as the champ enters the ring through Melina's legs. Benjamin flies over the ropes with a suicide dive to take out both Carlito and Nitro. After the break, Shelton is in control of Nitro. The champ grabs to ropes to dodge a dropkick, but then misses a standing shooting star press. Nitro and Benji whip Carlito into the corner. Carlito counters and flips Benji, who then flips Nitro. Carlito hits Shelton with a knee lift, and then trades blows with Nitro. A huricanrana from Carlito sends Nitro for a ride. Benjamin counters a suplex into a DDT. Benjamin covers, but Melina place Carlito's foot on the rope to save Nitro's title. Shelton and Carlito yell at Melina, when Nitro attacks. Shelton is knocked from the ring, and Nitro rolls up Carlito for the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Johnny Nitro
Randy Orton is in the ring, and says he will kill the legend of Hulk Hogan. Orton says he career will take off; in fact he just got an offer for his own reality show, Orton Knows Best. Orton brings out actors to play each member of the McMahon family. The girl playing Brooke Hogan is actually cuter then Brooke. Orton tosses "Nick" from the ring, and starts to put the moves on "Brooke". Orton plants a kiss on the young lady, and then RKO's the fake Hogan. Orton slowly makes his way to the announce table, where he slaps Jerry Lawler across the face.
Armando Alejandro Estrada congratulates Vince on the birth of his granddaughter, and offers him a cigar. He then tells Vince he has three more boxes out in his car, and offers to get them.
After the break, Lawler challenges Orton to a match.
Match #2 – Trish Stratus and Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James and Victoria w/ Special Referee Torrie Wilson
Trish nearly botches Stratusfaction, but still hits it. She covers Victoria for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Trish Stratus and Candice Michelle
Mick Foley is backstage with Nitro and Melina. The Hardcore Legend asks if Melina will lead him to the ring tonight. She agrees.
Foley says he is going to give the fans what they want -- Foley versus Flair in the ring, together, as they continue their quest for tag team gold. Foley says he and Flair are similar, the both take young superstars under their wing, and they both have famous friends. Foley says he has made national headlines, but Flair has too, for his road rage incident. The Nature Boy has heard enough, and heads to the ring. Flair wants Foley or Cactus Jack in a hardcore match. He wants to taste blood -- Foley's blood. Flair says Melina is the type of girl he used to run with. Foley says that's where they are different, Flair sees Melina as a conquest not a friend. Foley says he won't take tips from a guy who has been married three times, and is an absentee father. Mick apologizes for crossing the line, and tells Flair that they have a love a family in common. Mick says he'll never know what it's like to look in the eyes of his children and say, "Kids, your dad's just been arrested." Flair chases Foley from the ring, when Coach walks out. He announces that Foley will take on Flair at SummerSlam. Foley flips out and tells Coach to check his contract. Foley only fights when and where he wants. He won't waste a match on Flair.
Match #3 – Matt Striker vs. John Cena
Edge and Lita come down for commentary at their own table. They don't get to say much as Cena gets Striker to tap in the STFU.
Winner via submission: John Cena
Match #4 – Johnny w/ The Spirit Squad vs. Rory McAllister w/ Robby
The Squad breaks out a cheer before the match. Rory and Johnny lock up, and Rory drills a head butt. The Squad tries to interfere, but the ref takes the megaphone. The ref has seen enough and sends the entire Spirit Squad to the back. Johnny knows he's in trouble. Rory whips him across the ring. Johnny drops Rory into the turnbuckle, and then works him over in the corner. Johnny hits a neck breaker, and then a knee to the face. Rory fights his way out of a rear chin lock, and then hits a double axe handle. A back breaker follows a back body drop on Johnny. A wheel kick sends Rory to the mat, but Johnny takes to much time, and Rory rolls up Johnny with an inside cradle to get the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Rory McAllister w/ Robby
Diva Search Update! Rebecca has been eliminated.
DX is hanging out in the locker room when they are confronted by the federal authorities. They have a warrant, and find two boxes of Cuban cigars in Triple H's bag. They take him in for questioning.
(Fellow SLAM! writers Nick Tylwalk makes a good point here. With all their slick production values, why does WWE hire the worst actors to play these bit parts? They are right outside of New York City, tonight. Couldn't they find some off-Broadway actors, or some students from a local acting school? The guys playing the feds were absolutely horrible. I've seen better acting in a grade school play.)
Match #5 – Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada
HBK chops his way out of the corner. Umaga picks him up, but Michaels floats over, and pushes the Samoan into the turnbuckle. Umaga tosses HBK off of a pinfall. The McMahons head to the ring, as we go to break. Umaga hits a diving head butt, and then kicks HBK over the top rope. Umaga heads to the outside, and smashes Umaga into the announce table. HBK is brought into the ring the hard way. Umaga stomps on HBK. Michaels tries to fight back, but Umaga just slams him to the mat. HBK dodges a corner charge, and responds with chops. A flying forearm finally fells the beast. HBK kips up, but Estrada hauls him down. HBK confronts him, and ducks at the last second, as Umaga takes out his manager. HBK shoots off the ropes, only to have Umaga toss him in the air, and catch him in a Samoan drop. Umaga is upset that he took out his manager, and starts to destroy everything at ringside. Vince fills in for Armando, but HBK ducks the spike. He nails a low blow, and then drops the elbow. Michaels warms up the band, but Vince grabs his leg. HBK takes out Shane with a flying forearm, but kips up right into the Samoan Spike. Umaga covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Umaga
After the match, Vince and Shane work over HBK. Vince whips and chokes him with a belt, and then Shane superkicks a chair into HBK's face. Vince tells him next week Triple H will face Umaga.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale would like to know how to vote the Miz off the Diva Search. If you find a way please email Dale at DPLummer627@yahoo.com.