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Raw: Edge wins WWE title
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling


It's the eve of the United States Independence Day as RAW comes to us from the birthplace of America, Philadelphia. Even with DX banned from the building there's sure to be some early fireworks.

DX tries to enter the building, but are turned away by Jonathan Coachman and a phalanx of security guards. Apparently, Triple H doesn't read WWE.com because he didn't know they were barred from the arena.

Edge and Lita head to the ring to kick off the show. Edge says he will defeat RVD tomorrow night, and defend his title at Saturday Night's Main Event. Edge then gets some heel heat by comparing RVD to the Phillies, and Cena to the Eagles. Edge then says he's a lot like Terrell Owens. Edge was going to name his partner for the "Pick your partner" triple threat tag match, tonight, but is interrupted by John Cena. The Doctor of Thug-a-nomics lets his fists do the talking. Edge spills to the floor, as RVD hits the stage. The champ offers Cena a rematch, tonight. He then extends the invite to Edge, who accepts to make the title match a triple threat, tonight.

Vince McMahon shows up late for his own show, but just wants to know if DX isn't there. Coach says he sent DX packing. As the two enter the arena, a convertible full of girls rolls up.

Match # 1 -- Lita vs. Torrie Wilson

Why? Lita offers Torrie a free shot, but then dodges it. Lita hits a suplex, and follows with a Russian leg sweep. Torrie fights back with clothesline and a dropkick. Lita pushes Torrie into the ref, and then hits a DDT. Lita covers for the three count.

Winner: Lita

Vince demands that Coach explain why the plumbing doesn't work, the caterers aren't around, and why no one is in the hall. Coach explains it's a holiday, but Vince doesn't seem to care. He sends Coach out to get some answers.

Match #2 -- The Spirit Squad vs. Eugene, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Val Venis, Viscera, and Snitsky

Halfway through the match, Snitsky gets the hot tag, but the squad breaks the pin. They knock Venis and Vis off the apron, and then toss Duggan from the ring. Snitsky falls victim to a double vertical suplex. Kenny and Mikey climb opposing ring post, and Kenny drop a leg, while Mikey hits a senton.

Winner by pinfall: The Spirit Squad

DX is hosting a BBQ in the parking lot. The have Mr. McMahon cocktail weenies, and foot-long DX dogs. Hunter sends HBK on a wild goose chase for Mr. Fuji as some of the ladies disrobe for a tired trucker. (I knew I should have gone to the show.)

Match #3 -- The Highlanders vs. Matt Striker and Rob Conway

Correct me if I'm wrong, I thought there could only be one ... HIGHLANDER! (Oh, yea, I went there. And these guys are making me so proud of my Scottish heritage.) Rory blocks a kick from Striker, and head butts him in the chin. He then mounts him in the corner, and does the ten-punch. Robby tags in, and two double-team Conway. A back suplex from Conway slows down Robbie, but Striker walks away from a tag. Conway is then set up for the Scott Drop, and Rory gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: The Highlanders

Candice asks Hunter why HBK went into one of the trucks. Hunter says it's the production truck, but then gets pre-occupied with something under the table. Candice stills questions him, until she also becomes pre-occupied.

HBK, Hunter and some of the ladies enter the production truck. They tell one of the crew to meet the ladies, and take a hike. DX takes over the truck, "accidentally" cutting the feed.

Vince is upset that he has to use a public restroom. Little does he know that he is on camera while taking a number one. Coach runs in to tell him, and Vince relieves himself on Coach.

Vince enters the ring to address the crowd. He says last week was the most embarrassing night of his life. DX starts messing with his mike from the back. They give Vince a high-pitched voice, and then a very low voice. DX then starts messing with the telestrater, and then shows footage from last week. Coach knocks on the door of the truck, only to be knocked off the stairs when HBK opens the door. Vince tells DX that they will face the Spirit Squad in an elimination match at SNME. DX plays a laugh track. Vince has had enough of being tortured and asks for his music. DX obliges, until Vince makes his way up the ramp, when the Slammy music video kicks in.

Match #4 -- Johnny Nitro w/ Melina vs. Carlito -- Intercontinental Title Match

Nitro and Carlito lock up, and Nitro hits a cheap shot in the corner. Carlito hits a hurricanrana. Nitro responds with an inverted neck breaker. Nitro hot-dogs it after knocking Carlito into the corner. Carlito explodes with a clothesline, and then hits a springboard back elbow. Melina jumps on the apron, and Nitro nearly takes her out. Carlito hits the back cracker and pins Nitro. Melina breaks the pin, getting Nitro disqualified.

Winner via DQ: Carlito

Trish rushes the ring and jumps Melina. Carlito seems happy to let the two ladies fight, and Trish tosses Melina from the ring.

Paul Heyman checks on his boy, RVD, again. Heyman says tonight's match scares him. RVD says he believes in himself and ECW.

We meet the eight Diva search finalist, and I have an urge to bash my face into the keyboard. (This is the same sentence from last week, in the exact same place. It's an omen.)

Coach is nursing his wounds as Vince berates him. Mr. McMahon wants his limo readied so he can leave.

Match #5 -- Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. Philly jobber

DX interrupts Estrada's intro with a commercial for their new DX shirt. Armando ain't happy and sics Umaga on the kid from Philly. The carnage is short, as Umaga power bombs the kid into the turnbuckle. The Samoan spike finishes him off.

Winner via submission: Umaga

After the match, DX messes with Estrada some more; belching over the PA system every time Estrada opens his mouth.

Vince tells his driver to head out. As the car starts fireworks shoot from the sunroof. Vince stumbles out of the car in a fog of green smoke. DX greets him and says maybe next week he should let him in the building.

Randy Orton hits the stage. He says he's going to ask out Brooke Hogan, and if Hulk has a problem with that, Orton will introduce him to the legend killer.

Match #6 -- RVD vs. John Cena vs. Edge -- Triple Threat WWE Title Match -- No Count Out -- No DQ

RVD and Cena team up on Edge in the corner. Both men take turns beating on Edge. RVD hits him with a heel kick, and Cena drops him with a fisherman's suplex. Edge is knocked to the floor, as RVD sets Cena up on the turnbuckle. Edge knocks Cena off the top, and slams RVD to the mat. Edge covers, but the ref catches him with his feet on the ropes. Cena slams Edge into the steps, as RVD hits Cena with a cross body over the top rope. Back in the ring, RVD slips out of the F-U, but runs into a clothesline. Cena hold Edge in a vertical suplex, and RVD crashes into both men off the turnbuckle. All three men trade punches, with RVD gaining the upper hand. A step over heel kick sends Cena to the mat. Edge dumps RVD over the top rope. Cena hits a series of clotheslines to Edge, and then a side slam. Cena hits the five-knuckle shuffle, and F-U's Edge over the top rope. Lita hits the ring with a chair, but Cena catches her with an F-U. RVD nails a Van Daminator, but Cena rolls away from the five-star frog splash. Cena hits the F-U on RVD, but is taken out by Edge with a shot from the WWE title. Edge covers RVD and gets the three count. Edge is your new WWE Champion!

Winner via pinfall: Edge

Edge celebrates his win in the ring as the show goes off air.


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  • WWE Divas Do New York - The Lingerie Edition DVD

    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is leaving it up to the readers if he covers the 2006 Diva search. Emails your choice to Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com, keeping in mind that covering the Diva Search may kill him.