Smackdown: Gold up for grabs
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
Smackdown hit the airwaves this past week with a night of champions. Two titles
were on the line while another belt-holder was in action. Let's take a look
at went down.
To kick things off, The Miz runs down a bit of the line-up. You know, WCW had
a host for Nitro for a few months, who also got his start on MTV. I'm just saying...
Match 1 - The Mexicools vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrik (WWE Tag Team Title
You know, it's a shame that WWE is in the process of breaking the Mexicools
up, because these two teams have a great amount of chemistry going. JBL, by
the way, gets an immediate thumbs-up in my books for drawing the comparison
of Kendrick and London to The Rockers. He's actually a really good colour guy
in the Jesse Venutra style of heel commentators.
The match primarily focuses on the on-going dissension among the Mexican ranks,
especially for Psichosis. Interestingly, it's the 'Cools who get the hot tag
segment, a rarity for any heal team. The crowd, however, buys into it and explodes
for Super Crazy. As predictable as it is, Psichosis tags in blindly when the
match appears to be in hand and ends up losing the match for his crew. Had I
used the star system still, this would be an easy 5/10.
Post match, Super Crazy is understandably upset and kicks Psichosis's keester
all around the ring. Is this the official break-up? Only one way to find out
- tune in next week!
Throughout the night, we get videos and mentions of the number of wrestlers
Mark Henry has put out of action. You know, it might just be me, but if I had
someone on my staff who was causing financial trouble to my company by negatively
affecting the performance of my top workers, I'd fire him on the spot.
Also, we get bumpers, at various times, for Batista's return. I'll be very
curious to see how he's brought in.
Match 2 - Simon Dean vs. Tatanka
Velocity mainstays on Smackdown? This can only mean one thing - yup, it's time
for The Great Khali.
Winner: Draw (no contest)
After Khali disposes of our heroes, he pins Dean in a similar fashion to what
'Taker does with the arms crossed over the chest, adding the tounge wagging
for extra effect. Man, I know if I was an undead biker, I'd be pissed. I wonder
how Calloway is feeling after watching this...
Match 3 - Gunner Scott vs. Fit Finlay
Finlay dominates this match over the former Brent Albright. Scott gets an abbreviated
heat segment, including what looked like an almost-blown German Suplex. Naturally,
Little Bastard makes an appearance and in a backhanded way, helps Finlay after
a comedy spot. In the end, Finlay uses this shille..shilai...shyleigh...stick
to get the cheap win over Mr. Scott. Roast me if you must, but there was something
about LB and Finlay's interaction that worked. Hey. As long as we get some grat
ass kicking by Finlay week in and week out, I'll be happy.
Winner: Fit Finlay
Backstage we go (surprisingly for the first time tonight) and Vito is trying
to ask Ashley out. The segment really goes nowhere.
Next up is Sylvan Grenier with a tourism video for Quebec. Anyone who is from
La Belle Province, please e-mail me and let me know if those shots were actually
of Quebec's skyline. I just can't wait to see the vignette with Grenier promoting
the local cuisine, including Montreal smoked meat and poutine.
We stay out of the ring for an interview with Chavito. Guererro Jr. talks about
how Rey Misterio Jr. has the support of more than one Guererro. Man, this would've
been the perfect opportunity to bring back Chavo Classic, or at least bring
in Ultimo Guererro. Oh well.
Match 4 - King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley
Well, this match was pretty predictable, until the end when interference by
the M.A.D.E., William Regal and Finlay weny awry and Lashley was able to use
the chair to his advantage. I really don't see the point, by the way, in building
up a future star by having him take out half of your depleted roster at one
Winner: King Booker (DQ)
Match 5 - Ken Kennedy vs. Funaki
Man, I missed Mr. Kennedy a lot! Glad to see him back. Kennedy dominates this
bout, finishing with a standing Steam Roller (much safer than the second-rope
version he'd used previously) and the Swanton Bomb, re-dubbed the Kenton Bomb.
Winner: Ken Kennedy
Backstage, King Booker and the M.A.D.E. confront Teddy Long. The result is
a cage match next week between Booker and Lashley.
Match 6 - Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Mark Henry (World Title Match)
Well, the match was long, it was boring and the ending was fairly predictable
- Chavito interferes during a ref-out spot and uses an old Eddie Guerrero spot
of getting Henry caught with the chair to get DQ'd.
Okay. This has gone on long enough. Every time these two "pay tribute"
to Latino Heat's memory, their careers take another step down the ladder into
a pool of living off of someone else's name. Seriously. If Eddie were still
alive, they would just be seen as lackeys at this point, akin to nWo members
or rip-off artists like anyone who stole the Superkick from Shawn Michaels.
End it before Misterio's career is completely killed; please!
Winner: Rey Misterio Jr. (DQ)
Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000.