ECW: Setting up a little Vengeance
MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
I'm glad ECW isn't big on dudes wearing thongs. The vision of Jonathan Coachman's bare ass Monday night on Raw made me yearn for Tuesday night to get here sooner than later.
A side note to readers: This is my first crack at recapping a television show, so if I suck on this first try, I'll get better I promise.
ECW's second week on Sci-Fi starts with a quick recap of ECW's invasion and interference on Raw last night. Footage is shown of Rob Van Dam attacking Edge and Sabu's encounter with John Cena that left the "Doctor of Thuganomics" bloody and the Raw announce table in a shambles.
A shot of the crowd in Albany, NY, and we're off and running. No 10-minute WWE promos here, folks. We have a match three minutes in.
Match # 1 -- Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke
A good match to start out with, but with the Sheik's nephew getting a big match Sunday at Vengeance against Cena and Mamaluke, well, not, one can only imagine the outcome of this match. Joey Styles mentions how ECW on Sci-Fi was cable TV's highest-rated show last week and Taz chimes in by saying that Raw had been the highest-rated show. Taz also says that if you want to see "divas" to watch Raw or Smackdown, but if you want "vixens," ECW is the place to be and he ogles Trinity, who has accompanied Mamaluke.
Both Sabu and Mamaluke get a couple quick two-counts in the early going before the action spills to the floor and Sabu hits his triple jump plancha. Back inside, Mamaluke has Sabu down and even mocks Sabu with his upward sky point. Mamaluke puts a chair on Sabu's prone body and heads to the top. In mid-air, Mamaluke
is met with the chair. Sabu sets up a table on the outside and Mamaluke goes through it courtesy of a springboard knee drop. Moments later, Mamaluke is a victim of a camel clutch and submits rather quickly.
Winner via submission: Sabu
After the match, Sabu attacks Mamaluke some more and almost manhandles the ref before heading to the back
Kelly is then shown and this blonde bombshell explains that last week she was so excited that she couldn't get her bra off. This week, however, she promises to show everything and caresses
her right thigh. Thank you, Johnny Ace, thank you!
RVD cuts a promo on his tag match later tonight with Kurt Angle against Raw's Randy Orton and Edge.
The Big Show comes to the ring, but not for a match. Brand New Sin, the group that performs his new entrance music, is in the house and are shown in the front row. Tommy Dreamer then hits the ring and tells Show that if he truly wants to experience ECW, he has to go through him first. Dreamer slaps Show across the face and a brawl ensues that sees Dreamer decimated on the outside by being heaved into the ringside barrier, the steps and the ring post. In the ring, Show locks in his version of the Cobra Clutch, picks up Dreamer and drops him across a
knee. He then tosses Dreamer across the ring like a rag doll, pulls down the strap on his attire and leaves the ring.
A short recap of Angle making Orton tap at One Night Stand makes the rounds next before a commercial break.
Being that ECW is on Sci-Fi, a vampire (not Gangrel) is shown outside the Pepsi Arena.
Match #2 -- Macho Libre vs. The Sandman
Macho Libre comes down dressed exactly like Jack Black's
character in Nacho Libre and has the mic. He talks like "Macho Man" Randy Savage and has the same mannerisms, though he's maybe a foot shorter and 50 pounds heavier than Savage. Hilarious stuff here. He ends the promo by telling the crowd to "snap into it." Classic.
Sandman enters the fray and much like last week versus the Zombie, a Singapore cane shot to the head, several on the mat and a White Russian Leg Sweep gives the five-time ECW champ the duke.
Winner: The Sandman
Backstage, Paul Heyman is told by one of the referees that John Cena has arrived. But first, time to pay some bills.
Back from the break, Heyman has the ECW rebels in the back and Cena enters, black eye and all. Cena confronts Sabu and offers to make their match Sunday an Extreme Lumberjack Match with all ECW wrestlers at ringside. Cena says he is man enough to stare an ass kicking in the face, but wants the chance to go down swinging. Sabu accepts the challenge. Cena turns and walks away.
It's now time for Kelly's Exposé. She dances and performs a modified strip tease to a Snoop Dogg song. Just as she uncovers her breasts, a wrestler appears and covers her up and takes her to the
back. Anyone know who this killjoy is?
Edge spearing RVD last week on Raw is shown before a commercial break. Back from break, a quick promo proclaiming Test's arrival to ECW airs. I think Test may fit in well with ECW, I really do.
Match #3 -- Kurt Angle and ECW World Champion Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton and Edge
Angle and Edge start and Angle goes for the Ankle Lock right off the bat, but no dice. Both tag out and RVD crotches Orton on the top rope before connecting with a leaping side kick from
the top rope. Orton lands on the floor and RVD hits a standing moonsault from the apron. Back in the ring, RVD hits the ropes, but Lita pulls the top rope and Van Dam crashes to the floor amidst "Slut!" chants directed at Lita. Commercial time. Lita continues to interfere and chokes RVD with the ref's attention elsewhere. Some great back and forth action with Orton hitting his patented standing dropkick on RVD (I love that move, reminds me of Jim Brunzell's from back in the day). Angle gets the hot tag and hits three German suplexes on Orton and locks in the Ankle Lock. Edge breaks it up, but is met with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Edge, but gets clipped from behind by Orton.
Angle grabs Edge and puts the Rated R Superstar in a rear naked choke, but again, Lita breaks it up. Angle nails Lita with
the Angle Slam after breaking the Ankle Lock on Edge, but turns into an RKO from Orton. Edge lines RVD up for a spear, but Van Dam throws an elbow to knock Edge down. A Five-Star Frog Splash seconds later and chalk one up for the ECW side.
Winners: Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam
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By covering this ECW television show, Matt Mackinder has the distinction of now being a "super dork," according to his wife. And she's the one with the daytime soap opera addiction. Is Matt wrong in his way of thinking that pro wrestling is a man's form of a soap? Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.