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ECW: It's not sci-fi, it's reality
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling


If someone told me I'd be covering an ECW television show when I started with SLAM! Wrestling back in 2003, I'd would have told them to lay off the chair shots. But he we are, three years later and ECW is back on TV. Sure it's Sci-Fi, and Vince is backing it, but Paul Heyman is in charge of creative, it's on live (after the Smackdown taping,) and RVD is coming in with the WWE Title.

Before I get into the show, I'd like to introduce Matt Mackinder, the new ECW Television reporter. Matt will take over next week, and unlike Edge, I don't mind being a transitional reporter.

The show starts with a recap of One Night Stand, and John Cena's promo from RAW. After the official intro, (Drowning Pool? Why?) Paul Heyman heads to the ring, and introduces Rob Van Dam. RVD thanks the fans for their support, although the Smackdown crowd isn't quite as rabid as the hooligans at the Hammerstein Ballroom. Heyman unveils the new ECW World Heavyweight championship belt, presenting it to Van Dam. RVD says he's going to hold on to the WWE Title, too. Edge and Lita come to the ring, as the invited guests of Paul Heyman. Edge congratulates RVD, and tells him it will be an honor to face him at Vengeance. Edge starts to leave the ring, but instead spears RVD. The Rated R Superstar starts to leave through the crowd, but runs into John Cena on his way out. The former champ nails Edge, then fights him back over the security barrier. RVD gets some shots in, before going toe to toe with Cena. Edge pushes RVD into Cena, and then nails the current champ with a low blow. Cena lays out Paul Heyman, before leaving through the crowd.

Back in the locker room, Heyman tells his boys that they will bring ECW to Monday Night Raw.

Match # 1 -- The Zombie vs. The Sandman

(Before I get swamped with "Why don't they play Enter Sandman for Sandman's entrance?" e-mails, let me tell you this. I found out from the guys over at PWInsider.com, that Metallica wants 10 to 13 MILLION dollars for the rights to Enter Sandman. You know how those starving musicians are. I guess Napster really hurt their bottom line.)

Joey Styles and Tazz can't believe this guy. The Zombie grabs a mike and cuts a Zombie promo. I think I got most of it, "GGRRRRRRRR, AARRGGHHH, GRRRRRRRR." Sandman enters through the crowd, drinking his beer, and smashing the cans on his head. Sandman hits the ring, and hits Zombie with the kendo stick, repeatedly. A side Russian leg sweep earns Sandman the pin.

Winner via pinfall: The Sandman

After the match, The Sandman beats on the Zombie some more.

Now it's time to meet the ECW version of the Divas. Kelly introduces herself as an exhibitionist, and tonight she is going to take all of her clothes off. (I like this girl, she's direct and to the point. Oh, and she's smoking hot.)

If you missed Tazz's match at ECW ONS, well, you missed it again, tonight. Tazz chokes out The King; that's pretty much the gist of it.

Match #2 -- Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle with a double-leg takedown to start the match, and the tries to rip Credible's face off. Justin gets to the ropes, but cannot avoid the German suplex. Angle picks up Credible, and drop him over his back. The Olympic champ then give Justin a head butt, and then locks in a rear choke. Credible taps.

Winners via submission: Kurt Angle

After the match, Angle accepts Randy Orton's challenge, and vows to do the same thing to him at Vengeance. Angle is going to make him tap out.

WHAT YOU THINK
On ECW's debut on the Sci-Fi Channel, we had a Zombie and a vampire. What's next?
A Klingon - 8%
A Borg - 5%
Doctor Who - 5%
Frank N. Stein - 11%
A Wookie - 14%
Alf - 16%
Comic Book Guy - 19%
Something else completely wacky - 22%
Heyman addresses us from the back. He says he has scrapped the rest of the show, and instead tonight we are going to get an Extreme Battle Royal, all weapons legal. The winner of the Battle Royal will face John Cena at Vengeance, and join Heyman as he takes the fight to RAW.

Kelly joins us again, and says she is going to show us all he assets. (Um, this is Sci-Fi and not Playboy TV, right?)

What appears to be a vampire is outside the arena.

Kelly comes out, not to the ring, but to a side stage. She strips down to her underwear, and tries to take off her bra. She seems to have some trouble, so she just pulls it up, and strategically places her hands in all the right spots. Tazz comments that he thinks he'll like the new ECW.

Match #3 -- Extreme Battle Royal -- All Weapons Legal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Donny Doring, Roadkill, Al Snow, Stevie Richards, Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke, Big Guido, Balls Mahoney and Big Show are the participants. Show clears the ring, but doesn't eliminate anyone by tossing them over the top rope. There is carnage everywhere, signs, trash lids, trashcans, and chair are flying around the ring. Al Snow is the first eliminated, followed by Doring, both at the hands of the Big Show. Show then eliminates Stevie Richards, Roadkill, and Mahoney. Dreamer works Show over with a street sign, and then Sabu launches himself on Dreamer. Show catches Sabu, but cannot eliminate him. Show picks up Dreamer and press slams him through a table to the floor. The Little G and Mamaluke try to work over Show, but are promptly eliminated. Big Guido and Show go toe to toe, and Show knocks Guido over the rope. Guido holds on, and Sabu nails Show with a flying chair shot, knocking the giant over the rope.

Winner: Sabu


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  • ECW One Night Stand 2006 DVD

    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale has been an ECW fan since 1994 and still can't believe he got to cover the show. If you would like to reminisce about watching ECW on Sports Channel Philly in the mid 90's email Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.