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Raw: ECW delivers an unexpected Angle
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling


Hey, remember the RAW GM search? No? Come on, WWE only abandoned that story line a few months ago. I guess Vince McMahon is just tired of being on TV as Monday Night Raw comes to us from Tacoma, Washington. And did I hear something about a draft?

In all seriousness, the show starts with a Memorial Day tribute to all those men and women who are serving, and have served the United States, defending freedom around the world.

Vince kicks things off from the squared circle. Vince reminds us how his son, Shane, suffered a few weeks ago, but he is in good spirits, because Shawn Michaels is no more. The Spirit Squad injured HBK last week. Vince wants Shawn to know that there is still a job for him ... on the ring crew. Vince then expresses his displeasure with Triple H. He then says it's time to announce the new GM, but he hasn't found anyone that lives up to his standards. (I guess Vince isn't tired of being on TV. Ugh ...) Instead, Vince has hired an executive assistant ... Jonathan Coachman. Coach walks out on stage, and announces that there will be a number one contenders match for the WWE title at Vengeance; Edge vs. Big Show. Also Shelton Benjamin will defend the IC title against Kane. Vince then says he wants to see Triple H in his office.

Match # 1 Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin Intercontinental Title Match

Shelton enters the ring, and walks into a right hand from Kane. Benji is tossed over the ropes, and is knocked off the apron by a big boot. Back from the break, the champ has Kane in a reverse chin lock. The Big Red Machine sits up after a kick to the head. Kane nails a side slam, and climbs the turnbuckle. He connects with a flying clothesline, and Shelton walks into a choke slam. Benji counters, and gets a near fall. Kane catches a spinning heel kick, and Shelton counters with a DDT. He then follows with a corner splash, but Kane catches Shelton with a double-handed choke slam. The Titantron shows Kane's old mask, and the arena goes red. A Kane circa 1998 look-a-like walks to the ring, and confronts Kane 2006. 1998 Kane hits 2006 Kane with a choke slam and leaves the ring. He stops at the top of the ramp to take a look at his work.

No Contest

Coach is looking for Triple H, and Carlito doesn't know, and neither does Armando Alejandro Estrada, but Paunch does offer up his client services. Estrada is then slammed up against the wall by big Vis, who swears revenge.

WHAT YOU THINK
Who do you think will be the next GM on Raw?
One of the McMahons - 13%
Bischoff returns - 17%
JBL - 30%
Roddy Piper - 7%
Steve Austin - 11%
Palmer Canon - 1%
Someone else - 22%
Triple H finds his way to Vince's office. Trips is curious why he isn't in the number one contenders match, and pleads his case from last week. Vince has an idea, tonight when Trips takes on Kenny, there will also be one Spirit Squad member in each corner. Hunter vows to destroy Kenny and the rest of the Squad.

(So who's bright idea was it to release the remake of The Omen on 6-6-06. That's just asking for trouble.)

Match #2 Viscera vs. Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada

Umaga jumps Vis from behind on the ramp, and drives him face first into the ramp. (And I was so looking forward to reporting on this match.) Vis is dragged into the ring, and Umaga hits him with a splash, and then the Samoan Spike.

Winners via pinfall: Umaga

(Another look at See No Evil. I guess I shouldn't rag on it, since it did better than industry experts thought it would. Although, I wouldn't brag about being mediocre, either.)

Match #3 Torrie Wilson and Beth Phoenix w/ Trish Stratus vs. Victoria and Candice Michelle w/ Mickie James

Phoenix drops Victoria with a side slam. Torrie tags in and splashes Victoria in the corner, and then gives her a stink face. Candice tags in and hits the Go-Daddy elbow. (I just threw up in my mouth a little there.) Beth gets the hot tag, hitting Candice with a gut wrench. She pins Candice with a sit-down power bomb.

Winners via pinfall: Torrie Wilson and Beth Phoenix w/ Trish Stratus

We come back from break to find The King in the midst of an anti-ECW rant. RVD has heard enough, and joins King and JR on commentary.

Match #4 John Cena vs. ??? WWE Title Match

Cena is going to face someone he never has before (according to WWE. So send the emails that they faced each other at some Smackdown! House show to WWE, not me.) And that opponent is ... Johnny Nitro and he brought Melina with him. (Seriously, is anyone left on Smackdown?)

A shoulder block sends Nitro to the mat, and the champ rips off the five-knuckle shuffle. He picks Nitro up and hits the F-U. The champ locks in the STFU, and Nitro taps.

Winner via Submission: John Cena

After the match, RVD stares down Cena from the floor. The champ dodges a sneak attack from Nitro and tosses him into RVD.

WHAT YOU THINK
Jonathon Coachman? The new Executive Assistant on Raw? More TV time for Coach makes you ...
Scratch your head at how this could possibly happen - 52%
Want to retch - 41%
Excited - 7%
Paul Heyman and Mick Foley are set to face off against each other in a war of words. Foley pleads guilty to prostitution, sort of. Foley says he upgraded pimps. Mick isn't happy about being compared with Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. Foley wishes Heyman the best of luck with his little product. Heyman responds by calling Mick a Terry Funk rip off. Heyman then takes a shot at Socko. Foley responds that Funk and Dreamer didn't have the balls to do what he did. "You hate me because I realized you leave ECW as a drunk, drug addict, criminal, or a corpse." Heyman responds that he hates what Foley has become -- a whore. Heyman wants Mick to pay attention to the new vision for ECW, anyone who wants to jump to ECW can, and Heyman has two draft picks, one from RAW, and one from Smackdown. Foley takes a guess at the RAW pick -- RVD. Heyman then announces his Smackdown pick, and he's here ... wait for it ... wait for it ... KURT ANGLE! Angle jumps Foley, and nails the Angle Slam.

Match #5 The Big Show vs. Edge w/ Lita Number one contender match

Edge ducks a clothesline, and tries to work over Show in the corner. A head butt slows Edge down, and Show goes to work with chops to the chest. Edge then tastes a boot from Show, and Lita distracts Show long enough for Edge to recover. Show catches Edge and tosses him into the turnbuckle. Edge goes up top, after hanging Show on the ropes, but is tossed off the turnbuckle. Edge tries for a spear, but runs into a choke slam. Edge grabs the ref and tosses him out of the ring. Edge grabs a chair, but Show knocks it from his grasp. Lita hits Show with a low blow, but is caught by Show. Lita is grabbed by the throat, giving Edge time to clock Show with the chair. Edge drops Show with a Spear, and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Edge

Vince McMahon wishes Triple H, with sledge, the best of luck. Vince notices it's the same hammer that knocked out Shane. Vince is so confident in Hunter, he takes the sledge from him.

Match #6 Triple H vs. Kenny Spirit-Jack Match

Before the match, Kenny's buddies do a cheer for him. Kenny runs into a clothesline, and then ducks from the ring. Trips tries to bring him back in, but is hung up on the ropes. A high knee sends Kenny to the mat, and then Mikey breaks up a Pedigree. Hunter is dominating the squad as we go to break. Triple H is still dominating, but Mitch tosses Trips off the ring post. The squad beat the Game down on the outside. Kenny covers, but HHH kicks out. Mitch chokes HHH on the ropes, and Kenny charges. Trips sidesteps, and Kenny hits the ring post. With the ref pre-occupied, Johnny nails a spin kick. Kenny then tosses Hunter from the ring. Kenny warms up the band, but Triple H ducks the super kick, and counters with a DDT. Kenny runs into a boot, but Triple H is crotched on the ring post. Kenny continues to work over Hunter's knee. Triple H kicks Mickey into the ropes, and crotches Kenny on the turnbuckle. A facebuster, followed by a clothesline to Kenny. Triple H catches Kenny with a spine buster, and then tosses Mickey onto his mates. Hunter hits the Pedigree and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Triple H

Immediately after the bell, the Spirit Squad gang up on HHH. Hunter's face is smashed into the table, repeatedly. Hunter crawls to the timekeeper's station, and finds a sledge. Triple H runs off the Spirit Squad. Vince McMahon congratulates Hunter, and says next week he has another challenge. Next week, Hunter joins Vince's kiss my @ss club.


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  • Full Case of Tales with Harley Race & Terry Funk DVD-R

    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. With all the recent cuts and defections from Smackdown! don't be surprised to see Dale in the ring. You can send your condolences to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.