Viva, Las Vegas! WWE may have hit the jackpot last week, but will RAW crap out in Sin City, tonight? And remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Vince McMahon starts off the show from his office. He wants an apology from Triple H in the ring. And anything other then a sincere apology will be met with swift retribution.
After the RAW intro (which hasn't changed music-wise in a while), Mick Foley heads to the ring in a business suit. The ring is dressed for a ceremony, but first Foley tells the crowd that he's not a bad guy. He says it's good to be in Las Vegas, but then changes his mind. Foley says it isn't great to be in Vegas and heels on the city. Mick then brings out Edge and Lita.
Foley presents Edge with his Hardcore title, that was given to him as a retirement gift. Mick tells Edge that he deserves the belt. Edge is choked up, but says he can't accept it. Edge tells Foley that he deserves it. Foley suggest another hardcore match to decide who gets the belt, but Edge has a better idea. He has Lillian Garcia announce both men as co-hardcore champions.
At this point, none other than Paul Heyman walks out on stage. He has heard enough, and says that there is prostitution going on in the ring, and it doesn't involve Lita. Heyman tells Foley that he is prostituting himself out to Edge and Lita, and now he is a shell of his former self. Foley says he is a WWE superstar, and since Heyman has lost all his power, he should leave.
Heyman says he does a little power left. He has the power to make a challenge. Paul wants Foley and Edge to face two ECW dregs he can dig up at ECW One Night Stand. Foley turns him down, and Heyman takes a verbal shot at Lita.
Edge flies off the handle and accepts the challenge. The two head up the ramp to face Heyman, but are cut off by Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk. Dreamer nails Edge with a trashcan lid, and Funker takes out Foley with a sheet pan. Funk then whips Foley into the ringsteps, as Edge and Lita take flight through the crowd. Foley then follows.
Great news, everybody! The WWE is conducting another Diva search. I hope they find someone as talented as Candice Michelle, again!
Match # 1 – RVD vs. Shelton Benjamin – Intercontinental Title Match
(I know what you are thinking. Why is RVD trying to regain the IC belt, if he is Mr. Money in the Bank? I guess it's a rematch clause? I don't know.)
RVD hits Benjamin with a step over kick, knocking him from the ring. After the break, we find Benji in control with a rear chin lock. RVD elbows his way out, and then nails
Benji in the chest with a thrust kick. RVD then hits rolling thunder. Benjamin ducks a forearm and hits RVD with a Samoan drop, hitting the ref in the process. Shelton ducks out of the ring, and grabs the IC belt. RVD hits a Van Daminator, but the ref calls for the DQ on RVD.
Winner via DQ: Shelton Benjamin
After the bell, RVD climbs the turnbuckle and hits Benji with the five-star frog splash.
Back in his office, Vince shows Candice off to his buddies from ZZ top.
The Chairman is in the ring, and he calls out Triple H. Vince reminds Trips what a hell he has made of Shawn Michaels' life, and he wants to hear two words from Hunter. Trips says he has two words for him "I'm sorry." Vince accepts Hunter's apology, on one condition, that he bashes HBK's head in tonight. Vince says after he summons Hunter to the ring and he does the deed, then he will be forgiven.
Jim Ross touts how well Kane's movie did. I'm not impressed. It finished sixth on opening weekend, far behind The Da Vinci Code, but also behind RV and Poseidon. Kane is interviewed. He says May 19th is the day his family died, but now that the date has passed, he will inflict pain on his opponents, and he has never been happier.
Match #2 – Chris Masters vs. John Cena
(I missed the first half of this match, because I was more interested in watching security confiscate a fan's sign in the crowd. Sorry.)
Cena blocks a Masterlock attempt, and then both men spill from the ring. Back in the ring, Cena punches Masters, and follows with a back body drop. Masters then runs into a boot, and Cena slaps on the STFU. Masters quickly taps.
Winner via submission : John Cena
After the match, RVS hits the ring. He formally challenges John Cena, and cashes in his Money in the Bank for a title shot at One Night Stand. Cena and RVD exchanged punches. Cena hits a power slam, and Masters slides in, but misses a shot with the briefcase. Cena knocks Masters from the ring, but turns around into a Van Daminator.
Backstage, Carlito discusses his card strategy with Maria. Here's a hint, it involves an ace in his hair. They run into Snitsky, who says he has a date with a showgirl. Maria asks if that her down the hall, and Snitsky approaches her from behind. He takes her shoe off, and rubs her feet. He looks up, and finds that his
showgirl is actually Goldust. You know what they say about Vegas.
Match #3 – Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch
Kane interrupts Murdoch's review of his movie. Kane whips Murdoch into the corner, and follows with a clothesline. Murdoch ends up on the wrong side of a choke slam, and Kane gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Kane
After the bell, Kane doles out two more choke slams for good measure. Kane's old mask appears on the Titantron and mocks him. A voice says May 19th was just the beginning.
Match #4 – Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James
Mickie drops Torrie with a hard DDT and covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
After the match, Trish walks out on stage. She tells Mickie that she shouldn't be worried about being illegally attacked by Trish's new friend, and Mickie's old friend, Beth Phoenix. Now she can be legally attacked. Mickie
slides out of the back of the ring, only to walk right into an attack from Phoenix. Mickie runs out through the crowd with Beth on her heels.
After the break, we return to find Big Vis in the ring. He tells Lillian Garcia that they may have had their problems, but Vis is ready to settle down. Lillian reminds him that last time they were in Vegas, she was dumped for a bunch of ho's. Vis then asks Lillian to marry him. Before she can answer, Armando Alejandro Estrada hits the stage. He sends Umaga after Big Vis.
Vis knocks Umaga into the apron, and then chops him. Vis charges Umaga, but the Samoan dodges and Vis hits the ring post. Umaga hits a diving head butt, and then a flying shoulder block off the apron. Umaga
finishes off Vis with the Samoan Spike.
Backstage, The Spirit Squad run into Triple H, and tell him that he is supposed to wait here until Vince gives him the signal. The Spirit Squad tries to get Hunter to cheer, unsuccessfully.
Match #5 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Spirit Squad
HBK comes to the ring with chair in hand. Vince walks out, and orders to the ref to leave, and to take the chair with him. All five squad members hit HBK, overwhelming him. They hit High Spirits, but HBK starts to fight back. Michaels clears the ring, and hits Sweet Chin Music, twice. A third attempt
is blocked with a chair shot. Michaels is then stripped of his knee brace, and his leg is laced through a chair. Kenny hits a flying leg drop on the chair. Vince orders HHH to the ring, to bash in Michaels' skull. The Spirit Squad holds HBK in the corner, and Kenny orders Triple H to finish him. Hunter hesitates, and Kenny grabs the sledge. Kenny winds up, but Hunter blocks his path. Kenny winds up again, with Triple H in the way, and trips takes him down with a spine buster. Hunter clears the ring, and nails Kenny with a Pedigree. Vince is in shock as the show ends.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.
Dale has slowly been re-incorporating the crotch chop into everyday life in anticipation of a D-X reunion. For tips on when to bust out a chop, you can reach Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.