May 9, 2006
Raw: Spirited crotch chops and a Foley turn
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
Guess who's back? Back again? Well, unless you've missed RAW for the past year, good ol' Jim Ross is making his return to the announce table. Who else would it be? Coach?
J.R. returns to ringside with the King with only a welcome back. Considering how he went out, I was excepting a little more. Although, this is Vince McMahon we are talking about.
Triple H starts off the show demanding a title shot, saying he is the exception to the rule. He calls out John Cena, and his WWE title. Cena tries to explain to Triple H that just because he is a ten-time champ, he doesn't get a title shot. The champ is sick of looking at Triple H, so Cena offers to settle it right now. Cue Vince's music. Vince McMahon says that there won't be a match tonight, as Triple H tries to apologize for walking off as referee last week. Vince screams for Trips to shut up, and he gives the King of Kings the rest of the night off. He then tells Cena he will be in action with Shawn Michaels, as they face the entire Spirit Squad.
Match # 1 – RVD vs. Chris Masters vs. Charlie Haas vs. Shelton Benjamin – Fatal Four-way Intercontinental Title Match
Before the match, RVD tells the crowd he agrees with everything Joey Styles said last week. And tonight he wants to hear "E-C-W", instead of "R-V-D", to show support for Styles.
These matches are always a cluster, so let's cut to the chase. Masters locks the Masterlock on Haas, as RVD climbs the turnbuckle. Van Dam leaps over half the ring, and catches Masters in a sunset flip, breaking the Masterlock on Haas, and getting the pinfall.
Winner via pinfall: RVD
Todd Grisham interviews the no-name actors that are starring with Glen "Don't say May 19th or Kane freaks" Jacobs. They prattle on how Kane wasn't a good co-star to work with, and then one of them starts to mention May 19th. Kane grabs him by the throat, and tosses him to the floor.
Match #2 – Carlito vs. Matt Striker
Striker hits a modified neck breaker. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow, sending Striker to the corner. Eugene runs in, and beats on Striker. Carlito is DQ'ed. Striker fights back with a jawbreaker on Eugene, but catches a facebuster from Carlito. Eugene is helped up, only for Carlito to hit him with a back cracker.
Winners via DQ : Matt Striker
Match #3 – Edge w/ Lita vs. Mick Foley – Hardcore Match
Edge runs his mouth before the match, not really saying anything worth while. Foley comes to the ring, and says the winner of this match will be the greatest Hardcore wrestler alive today, but you can't be crowned that with out three letters. And since Foley can choose any type of match, it's now a three-way dance, as Foley brings out Tommy Dreamer.
Match #3 – Edge w/ Lita vs. Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer – Triple Threat Hardcore Match
Edge and Lita scamper from the ring, as Foley, with barbed-wire bat in hand hit the ring. Foley and Dreamer yell at Edge, but then Foley smacks Dreamer in the back with said bat. Edge enters the ring, and Foley gives him the bat. Edge lays out Dreamer, and Foley follows with an elbow. Dreamer is then held in a compromised position and the bat is driven into is lower mid section. Edge and Lita hold Dreamer, as Foley pulls out Socko, and while in the mandible claw, Edge hits Dreamer with the Spear. Foley covers for the three count.
Winner via pinfall: Mick Foley
Match #4 – Mickie James vs. Maria w/ Trish Stratus
Mickie lunges for Trish in apron, and Maria almost steals a win with a roll-up. Mickie kicks Maria in the head, and follows with an elbow. A vicious DDT to Maria ends the match.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
Trish runs in to protect Maria, and starts hitting Mickie with her one good arm. Mickie kicks Trish in her injured shoulder, and then chokes Maria. An unknown blonde hits the ring, and security tries to corral her. Mickie heads up the ramp, yelling at the mystery woman, saying she ruins everything. [The mystery woman turns out to be Beth Phoenix, who is from Buffalo and worked in Southern Ontario before going to Ohio Valley Wrestling.]
Match #5 – Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. Two guys who aren't getting paid enough for this
You know the story here. Umaga tosses one jobber out of the ring, and then hangs the other in a tree of woe. He nails the poor schlub with a head butt. He then turns his attention to the guys outside the ring. Umaga tosses him into the barrier, and then nails him with a running butt splash. Showing some classic old-school managing, Estrada sends his boy back in the ring, where he finished off the other jobber with the Samoan Spike.
Winners via pinfall: Umaga
Match #6 – Kane vs. Big Show
This again! Actually, in a twist, this match starts off with a lot of mat wrestling and technical moves. Kurt Angle may be hurt, but it's nice see they still have work for him. Both men reverse hammerlocks, and Big Show pulls out a drop toe hold. Kane then returns the favor by dropping Show into the turnbuckle. Then the nonsense starts. The arena is bathed in a sea of red light, and Kane's old mask appears on the TitanTron. As soon as Kane hears May 19th, he grabs a chair, and nails Show in the head. Kane continues to beat on Show, until finally walking off to the back.
Backstage, Kenny tells the rest of the squad he wants Shawn Michaels. The rest of the team can have Cena.
Match #7 – The Spirit Squad vs. Shawn Michaels and John Cena
Michaels and Cena cannot overcome the numbers, as the squad routinely distracts the ref. After dodging a senton splash from Mikey, Michaels gets the hot tag from Cena. HBK clears the ring, but on the outside Cena is thrown into the ring steps. Michaels hits Nicky with superkick on the apron, but Kenny clocks him with the tag belt, as the ref checks on Cena. Kenny covers and gets the three count.
Winners via pinfall: The Spirit Squad
After the match, Kenny knocks out the ref and takes his belt. He proceeds to whip Michaels. Triple H heads to the ring, and the Spirit Squad scrambles. Trips isn't there to save HBK, but instead nails Cena with the Pedigree. He then stands over the champ, giving him an old-fashioned crotch chop.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is glad to see the crotch chop making a return, as many people fell victim to it during the summer of '99 at Dale's work. Discuss your memories with Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.