Raw: Getting into the Backlash Spirit
DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
Backlash is less then a week away, and WWE is overseas, visting jolly ole England. And unless the UK fans are real diehard, I don't think they are showing up for a 1 a.m. London-time start. Yea, it's on tape.
Edge and Lita kick off the show. Edge runs his mouth, and says he'll be the champ. Which causes Triple H to come out, and tell Edge that he'll do anything to be the champ, and cracks some jokes at Edge's and Lita's expense. John Cena hits the ring, and without saying a word attacks Trips. Edge clears the ring, followed by Hunter. Before Triple H can go back for more, the Spirit Squad walks out. They announce that Triple H, Edge, and Cena will be facing all of them tonight.
(So Triple H got the most cheers during this segment, and only about half the crowd. John Cena got booed so bad he might as well shown up draped in the French flag. And I'm a Philly fan, so I'm an expert on booing.)
Match # 1 – Chris Masters, Matt Striker, and Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito, RVD, and Charlie Haas
Since they are overseas, it's the requisite multi-man tag team match. (SLAM! Wrestling Archivist please take note that this is Matt Striker's first official televised match.) RVD hits Shelton with the five-star frog splash, as Carlito keeps the ring clear. RVD picks up the win.
Winners via pinfall: Carlito, RVD, and Charlie Haas
Todd Grisham asks Vince McMahon about the strange occurrences last week. Vince explains that the pyro going off was just a coincidence, and not an act of God. In fact, he fired the pyro guy. Shane says that tonight will be payback for 'Mania.
Kane is in the back, and Big Show wants to know what's going on. Kane tells him to stop mentioning May 19th. Show does, and Kane goes off, slamming Show into the wall. Kane lays into, and "injures" Show's left eye.
Coach hosts the RAW Diva Bikini Contest. He declares Candice the winner, and says her prize is making out with the Coach. Candice is saved by Viscera, who hits Coach with a Samoan
Drop, and then dry humps him. Big Vis leaves with Candice.
Match #2 – Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon
(I thought this match was billed as HBK and God versus Shane. I guess Vince didn't want to give the Lord away on free TV.)
Of course Vince gets involved. He pulls HBK from the ring, and Michaels warms up the band for some sweet chin music. HBK knocks Vince onto the announce table and climbs the turnbuckle. Shane cuts him down with a low blow. Vince and Shane set HBK up on the table, and Shane drop a huge flying elbow, crushing HBK and the table. Shane and Vince bask in the glow of a single spotlight, as HBK is laid out at their feet.
Edge warns Cena that they need to stick together to win. Cena says if Edge double-crosses him, he is going down.
After the break, Edge and Lita are plotting something in the hallway.
Match #3 – Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. Steve Lewington
(In case you are having trouble with the Old English; Steve Lewington is pronounced ENG-LISH JOB-BER. With that said, Umaga wrecks the poor guy. That's all this match gets.)
Lita talks to Triple H. She says they all have an understanding. Triple H just wants some advice on taking five guys at once.
Mickie James heads to the ring, as herself. She tells the crowd that she wanted to be Trish, but realized that she is better. Trish, as Mickie, interrupts. Trish keeps mimicking Mickie, not letting her get a word in. The two come to blows, and Mickie ducks a Chick Kick, but doesn't see the second one.
Match #4 – Edge, Triple H, and Cena vs. The Spirit Squad – 5 on 3
Edge turns on his partners by leaving the ring, but Cena save Triple H from a 5 on 1 beat down. Edge just watches as Triple H and Cena hit a Pedigree and F-U at the same time. With the Spirit Squad laid out, Cena and Edge turn on each other. The show fades out as both man fight it out.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. You can email Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com. He probably won't answer, as he will be making a pilgrimage to Titan Tower to pray at the altar of McMahonism.