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Smackdown: The bell tolls for Henry
By ANDY McNAMARA - SLAM! Wrestling


As WrestleMania creeps ever closer the action continues to heat up on Smackdown. One can only wonder what the fallout will be from Mark Henry's vicious assault on The Undertaker last week, ruining his world title shot. There is also a Money in the Bank qualifying match. Well Mobile, Alabama is ready for Smackdown mayhem tonight, are you? Onto the report!

After highlights of last week's Mark Henry intrusion on the World Heavyweight Championship match between Undertaker and Kurt Angle the show begins. Henry and Davairi are out in the ring running down Taker and Angle, with The World's Strongest Man stating that Taker stole his title shot. Henry is now calling out Angle, and Kurt wastes no time in accepting the challenge. The two warriors brawl and then Randy Orton charges down to interfere. Rey Mysterio runs out to save Angle, but the heels dominate clearing the squared circle. Teddy Long struts out to stop this mayhem and makes tonight's main event: Mark Henry and Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio. This week's program has started out fast and furious!

Match 1: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match- Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay

Before the bell rings Finlay sprints towards Lashley to attack. Lashley catches the Irishman and spears him into the ring apron, however, Finlay rebounds by clubbing him with the shillelagh. Security pulls the two apart but Lashley breaks through and delivers a nasty spear to Finlay. This one never gets underway. The camera then cuts to the parking lot and these two are still going at it. Finlay nails the security guards with a lead pipe and gets a piece of Lashley as well. The big man gets the better of Finlay, pounding him down on the roof of a car. He follows this up by tipping over the car, and luckily for Finlay he narrowly escapes. As we cut to commercial both men continue to try and get at one another.

WINNER: No Contest

JBL rides out in his limousine and thanks the audience for all their support during his hand surgery. Bradshaw then complains that Stone Cold Steve Austin did not mention him as one of the all time greatest wrestlers in Texas history during his interview on WWE.com. JBL challenges Stone Cold to a beer drinking contest on Saturday Night's Main Event on March 18. Bradshaw goes on to say that he will beat Benoit at WrestleMania 22 in order to gain revenge for The Crippler breaking his hand.

Gregory Helms is in Teddy Long's office complaining about his broken nose he suffered last week. Teddy agrees that Helms shouldn't defend his Cruiserweight Championship tonight, instead the GM makes him face Benoit in a champion vs. champion non-title match. Helms does not look happy.

Match 2: William Regal vs. Paul Burchill

Regal grabs the mic and tells the crowd how ridiculous Burchill's pirate gimmick is. Burchill swings in on a rope and throws his treasure into the audience, capping it off by pulling out a sword! Regal starts off the bout by working the swashbuckler's left arm and continues with his unique European style. William also applies a unique front full nelson. Burchill is able to rebound with some elbows and back body drop. Burchill is able to pull off the upset with a fantastic looking flipping Rock Bottom. An impressive debut for Burchill the Pirate.

WINNER: Paul Burchill

Following the break Booker T and Sharmell are in the ring complaining about how Booker has been getting "screwed" by Teddy Long and The Boogeyman. Booker goes on to say he's been receiving many letters complaining about Boogeyman's cruel treatment of worms! The GM comes on the Titan Tron and announces that Boogeyman will face Booker T at Saturday Night's Main Event. Booker opens up the bag of letters he has and the bag is filled with smoke and worms! Boogey crawls out from the back, as Booker and Sharmell are screaming and run through the crowd. A very funny segment.

Match 3: Bra & Panties Match- Krystal vs. Jillian Hall

Typical blunder from two beautiful women who have no business being in a wrestling ring. Krystal picks up the win after stripping Jillian and follows that up by posing for the Mobile audience herself.

WINNER: Krystal

Match 4: Champion vs. Champion- Non-title- Chris Benoit vs. Gregory Helms

The Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms looks extremely nervous as the United States Champion goes after that injured nose. After a brief flurry Benoit regains control with a Dynamite Kid style snap suplex. Later in the contest Helms is able to escape the Sharpshooter and tries to walk out on the match. The other Cruiserweights pour out of the dressing room and throw the champ back into the ring. A flying headbutt and Crippler Crossface later and Chris Benoit is victorious.

WINNER: Chris Benoit

Animal now joins Michael Cole and Tazz via satellite explaining to everyone that he was the one who carried the Road Warriors team all those years. Surprisingly he runs down Hawk as being a screw up and that Heindenreich was even worse (hard to argue with him there). Animal says that he attacked Hardy last week because he was sick of being a team player and carrying his various partners. Animal finished off the interview by accepting Hardy's challenge for a one on one match next week. On a side note, I thought that due to injury insurance Animal was not legally allowed to wrestle in single matches, but I guess the WWE has taken care of all that.

A Lumberjack Match has been announced for next week between Bobby Lashley and Finlay.

Match 5: Main Event- Randy Orton & Mark Henry w/ Davairi vs. Rey Mysterio & Kurt Angle

Two participants in the Smackdown WrestleMania main event, Orton and Angle, square off in the opening minutes. Mysterio gets the tag in and barely misses a 610 on Orton, thanks to a Mark Henry save. Following Davairi interference, Rey Rey escapes certain doom by rolling away from a Henry splash, and makes the hot tag to Angle. After breaking up the Ankle Lock on Orton, The World's Strongest Man squashes the referee in the corner. Davairi pounces at the opportunity, setting up a table and laying a beat down Mysterio on top. The world champ is able to pull off Rey, but Orton sneaks in with a RKO, allowing Angle to be sprawled across the table. Henry delivers a giant splash from the second turnbuckle, driving the champion through the wood and nearly unconscious. As Henry and Davairi celebrate their attack the lights go down and the gong tolls. The Undertaker's voice can be heard and he challenges Henry to a Casket Match at WrestleMania. The show goes off the air with The World's Strongest Man yelling for Taker.

WINNER: No Contest


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  • WWE Divas Do New York - The Lingerie Edition DVD

    Andy McNamara is a freelance writer who writes for SLAM! Wrestling and various local GTA newspapers. Andy will be on hiatus next week doing the radio play-by-play for the Canadian National Men's College Basketball Championships (March 16-18 at Sheridan College in Brampton) on www.2006nationals.ca. But fear not, AndyMANIA will be running wild when he returns bigger, badder, and better then ever the following week.