March 7, 2006
Raw: More McMahon egomania
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
Vince McMahon must be up for an environmental protection award, because the recycling on RAW continues. In addition to storylines, now matches are being recycled in Birmingham, Alabama, with a series of "Wrestlemania Rewind" matches.
(Although Vince may hurt his chances, since he has apparently tossed Marty Jannetty back on the garbage heap. And I love how WWE.com gives us absolutely NO information on why he was let go.)
Vince and Shane kick off the show. They head to the ring with an entourage of security. Vince gives an acceptance speech in the ring, ala the Academy Awards. McMahon thanks Shawn Michaels and others that made last week possible. He thanks the Spirit Squad (who have a least one fan in Nick Tylwalk, but I digress.) Vince thanks Chris Masters, and then names Masters and Carlito the number one contenders for the tag team championship at Wrestlemania. He thanks Jannetty for sticking to his guns, and rewards him with a pink slip. (But we all knew that.) He then thanks all the fans for being spineless, and keeping him going. And then he thanks Shane for Crash-ing Michaels' face into his rear.
(Makes you wonder what kind of reference Vince would have made if Brokeback Mountain had won best picture? I won't touch that one; this is a family site.)
Vince explains that the security is to protect HBK, because Vince is no ordinary 60-year-old man. McMahon unveils that he is the cover boy for this month's Muscle & Fitness. "Sexy Boy" comes over the speakers and security hits the ramp, but HBK makes his way through the crowd, attacking from behind. Shawn gets a few shots in on Vince, before security breaks it up. Vince and Shane head up the ramp, but not before Vince tells HBK he will be facing Shane, tonight. Shane isn't too thrilled at the prospect of a match tonight.
(All this seems vaguely familiar. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm sure something like this has happened before.)
After the break, Shane says he isn't ready. Vince just replies that he promised to make Shawn's life hell, and it starts tonight.
Match # 1 – Shelton Benjamin w/ Mama vs. Ric Flair – Intercontinental Title Match
Benjamin jumps Flair before the bell. He hits a delayed vertical suplex. Flair fights back, chopping the IC champ into the corner and to the mat. Benji gouges the ref in the eye, thinking it's Flair. The Nature Boy locks in the figure four, and Benji taps, as the ref calls for the bell. Flair gets his hand raised, but is announced winner by disqualification.
Winners via DQ: Ric Flair
Flair leaves the ring, and grabs the oxygen tank from Mama. Flair nails Benjamin with the tank, and then knocks him out of the ring.
After the break, we find out Teddy Long has visited Raw. During Unlimited, Long announces that the "Money in the Bank" match will be inter-promotional, and the qualifying matches will be this Friday.
Match #2 – Triple H vs. Kane – Wrestlemania Rewind Match
(Does anyone else remember this classic bout from WM 15? Neither do I.)
Kane reverses a Pedigree, and then goes for a flying clothesline. Kane sets up for a choke slam, when Chris Masters hits the ring. A big boot sends Masters flying off the apron. Kane goes after him, only to be jumped by Carlito. After a meeting with the ring post, Kane is rolled back into the ring, where Hunter finishes him off with a pedigree.
Winner via pinfall: Triple H
Victoria and Torrie Wilson are discussing Candice's Playboy unveiling tonight. Torrie seems upset, and Victoria all but blames her for Candice's loss last week.
A VERY pregnant Stephanie McMahon stops by Michaels' locker room. Steph apologizes to Shawn for everything he family has done to him. Steph starts to have some cramps, and asks HBK to get her some water. When Michaels leaves, she slips a powder into his water. HBK takes a big swig as Steph leaves.
Torrie Wilson and Victoria are in the ring to unveil the Playboy cover. The oversized magazine is then lifted to reveal Candice, wearing the same outfit that she wears on the cover. Candice and Torrie jaw at each other for a while, before hugging to make up. Only, Candice gives Victoria the signal to strike, and Torrie is hit from behind. Candice slaps her, and then drives her face into the ring.
(Well, this is one issue of Playboy I won't be buying. I can't believe Candice is getting this kind of mileage out of twirling around. This also means I won't be making any "I just bought it for the articles" cracks this year.)
Match #3 – Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon w/ Vince
HBK puts up a good fight, but the drugged water kicks in, and he can't even defend himself. Shane keeps the ref from checking on Michaels, and after a punch to the head finishes off HBK, and Shane makes the cover.
Winner via pinfall: Shane McMahon
Vince and Shane celebrate in the ring, when Shane tells Lillian Garcia to announce another match. Vince McMahon versus HBK.
Match #4 – Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon
Vince covers HBK, and gets the three count.
Winner via pinfall: Vince McMahon
The Spirit Squad run to the ring, and hoist the McMahon boys up on their shoulders to celebrate.
Match #5 – Eugene vs. Kenny w/ The Spirit Squad
Eugene is excited to see the Spirit Squad, but the glorified frat boys mock him, and then play keep away with an air horn. Eugene hulks up, and hits a Rock Bottom. The entire squad jumps on the apron to distract the ref, and one of the boys hits Eugene with a spinning heel kick. Kenny finishes him off with a leaping leg drop off the top rope.
Winner via pinfall: Kenny
(Talk about sucking the life out of crowd. This match had no crowd reaction. I wish Nick Tylwalk was in attendance, at least he would have been the lone voice to be heard cheering for the Spirit Squad.)
Match #6 – Maria vs. Lita w/ Edge
Maria almost steals a win with a roll-up, but finishes Maria off with a DDT.
Winner via pinfall: Lita
After the match, Lita picks up Maria, setting her up for a spear. Mick Foley comes to her aid punches Edge. Lita jumps on Foley's back, and Edge nails him with a spear. Edge then hits Foley with a one-man con-chair-to, and accepts Foley's challenge from last week.
The next WWE Hall of Fame inductee is announced. Sherri Martel will be joining Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, and Gene Okerlund this year.
Trish Stratus confronts Mickie James in the locker room, telling her they need to talk. Trish finally tells off Mickie, and I think she dumps her. Mickie looks like she's going to cry.
Match #7 – John Cena vs. Big Show – Wrestlemania Rewind Match
(I don't get the fans. They cheer like crazy when Cena's music hits, but boo him in the ring and on the mike. Will someone explain this to me?)
Triple H makes his way down the ramp with a sledgehammer in hand. He doesn't do anything, but watch. Carlito and Masters have other ideas, though, as they run to the ring. Kane cuts them off, though, and they fight to the back. Cena hits a superplex off the middle turnbuckle, and gets a two count. Show hits a clothesline, and sets up a choke slam. Cena counters into a DDT, and tries to cut Show down with shoulder blocks. Cena slips out of another choke slam, kicking Show in the gut. Cena then PICKS UP and HOLDS Big Show, dropping him with the F-U.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena
Watching from ringside, Triple H is amazed, and Cena holds his belt up and points to the Wrestlemania 22 sign, as the show goes off the air.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale would like to send his condolences and best wishes out to the friends and family of baseball great Kirby Puckett, who passed away Monday. You can reach Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.