January 17, 2006
Raw: A little TLC goes a long way
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling

Judging by the ratings, I was one of the few people upset by last week's "live sex show" on Raw last week. I don't know if I can handle any more as Monday Night Raw comes to us from the campus of North Carolina State University. (Nice to see the ACC representing for fellow SLAM!! writer Nick Tylwalk.)

Edge and Lita kick off the show, with Edge proclaiming that he can do what he wants when he wants. He gloats about last week's rating, and proclaims himself the most watched champion, ever. The Rated R superstar then promises he will finish off Ric Flair tonight, but not before Lita finishes him off from last week. (My head hurts; I think I'm going to have an aneurysm.)

Thankfully, new Heavyweight Champion, Kurt Angle puts a stop to their antics. Angle questions Edge's title, telling the new champ that smarts may have won him the title, but ability will keep it. Angle goes on the explain that his contract with RAW had expired, so he jumped to Smackdown and entered the battle royal to win the belt. Edge says Angle went to Smackdown because he was embarrassed. Angle challenges Edge, but the WWE champ says not a chance, and pushes Angle. The Olympic champ responds by suplexing Angle out of the ring.

Vince McMahon struts to the ring to calm things down. The chairman of the board says he won't let the two champs beat the hell out of each other tonight. They have to fulfill their obligations, and Angle will have match with Shawn Michaels, tonight. It will be non-title, but if HBK loses, his contract will be terminated.

Match # 1 Kurt Angle w/ Daivari vs. Shawn Michaels

HBK and Vince stare each other down, before we cut to break. We return in the middle of the match, and HBK is working over Angle with a headlock. Angle responds with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and follows with rolling German suplexes. The Olympic champ locks in a body scissors. HBK eventually elbows his way out, and chops Angle into the corner. Michaels is whipped into the corner. HBK counters the Angle slam with a DDT. Daivari pulls on the ropes and Michaels falls to the floor. HBK takes out Daivari with Sweet Chin Music. After the break, HBK is set up on the turnbuckle. Michaels fights off Angle, twice, but the third time Angle hits the Angle Slam off the top turnbuckle. Angle only gets a two count. Michaels misses a super kick, and Angle counters with the Ankle lock. HBK rolls out of the hold, and hits an inverted atomic drop. HBK climbs the turnbuckle, but misses they flying elbow drop. Angle goes for the Angle slam, but HBK counters with a sunset flip, although Angle rolls through, and is able to slap on the ankle lock. Daivari jumps on the apron, and HBK slaps him. Angle locks in the hold, as Daivari enters the ring with a chair. Angle releases the hold to break up Daivari and the ref. Daivari accidentally bumps into Angle, and Michaels rolls him up and gets the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Shawn Michaels

After the match, Angle wants an explanation. Daivari pleads his case, but then slaps Angle. The Olympic champ grabs Daivari and slams him over the top rope.

Maria is backstage ready to interview Chris Masters. She wants to know if John Cena will break his Masterlock. He promises Cena will pass out, and then he'll be the youngest superstar to win the Royal Rumble.

Trish and Ashley are getting ready for their match. Ashley is worried that Mickie James is too overprotective. Mickie walks in, and she admits that she is obsessed with Trish, but she does apologize for last week.

Masterlock Challenge

Cena and Masters feel each other out before Masters locks in the hold. Cena does a good job trying to escape, until Edge hits the ring. The champ clocks Cena with the belt, and Masters releases the hold.

Vince visits HBK in the trainers room. He can't believe Michaels' luck. He tells HBK that his luck will run out. Vince then starts in on Ric Flair, until Candice grabs his attention. She wants Vince to critique her match. Vince is more than happy to, and tells her that they should talk in private.

Match #2 Ashley, Trish Stratus and Mickie James vs. Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson and Victoria

Mickie isn't happy when Trish tags in Ashley. Mickie then flies off the handle when Ashley is knocked into her. Mickie attacks Ashley in the ring, and Trish separates them. As Trish calms down Mickie, Victoria hits the widow's peak on Ashley, picking up the win. (What does that say about Candice that she doesn't even get in the ring. She better hope the bubble doesn't bust on Go Daddy.)

Winner via submission: Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson and Victoria

Carlito is in the ring, and wants to know why everyone is excited about the return of RVD. Carlito rolls the footage of the last time RVD showed up, and CCC put him back on the shelf. Then Kane makes his entrance. Carlito tries to fight off the Big Red Machine, but Kane shoves an apple in Carlito's mouth, and tosses him over the top rope. (Just like he'll do in the Rumble. See what they're trying to do here, with the over the top rope ... okay.)

Vince is in his office, when a production assistant informs him that a woman is waiting for him outside. Vince tells her to come on, and starts taking off his pants. He turns around to find Shelton's mama. Vince hikes up his pants, as Mrs. Benjamin wants to know why her boy doesn't have a match. Vince says he can have one tonight, and he'll face suitable competition. Shelton takes off to get ready; while Mama tells Vince that if he wants some "brown sugar" to give her a call. Vince looks like he's going to be sick.

Match #3 Shelton Benjamin w/ Mama vs. Big Show

Shelton and his mom are backed into the corner by Show, who then opens the ropes for Mama. Shelton attacks Show right away, but a side slam from Show slows him down. Show still has a broken hand, and Benji breaks free of a choke slam because of it. Show hits a fall away slam, which sends Shelton from the ring. Show tosses Benji back in the ring, but is attacked by HHH, who comes out of the crowd. Show and HHH fight below the stage, and Big Show is counted out.

Winner via countout: Shelton Benjamin

Match #4 Ric Flair vs. Edge WWE Championship TLC Match

Flair starts off with chops, but Edge grabs the upper hand, and sandwiches Flair in a ladder. Flair is kicked out of the ring, and Edge follows. Edge suplexes Flair on the floor, and then sets him up on the announce table. Flair grabs Edge by the grapefruits, and tosses him into the security barrier. Lita jumps on Flair, buying time for Edge. The WWE Champion smacks Flair with a chair, and then lays him on a table. Edge climbs a ladder in the ring, and splashes Flair through the table. After the break, Flair is busted open, but on the attack. After a low blow, Edge is set inside the ladder. Flair works it over with a chair. The Nature Boy sets up a ladder in the middle of the ring, and starts to climb. Edge cuts him off, and hits a superplex of the top of the ladder. Edge misses a missile drop kick, but Flair flops. Edge then knocks Flair from the ring with a chair shot, and starts to climb the ladder. Flair recovers, and pushed the ladder over, sending Edge to the over the top rope, through a table, and to the floor. Flair starts to climb, but is stopped by Lita. Flair puts a figure four on her, and Lita is then taken from the ring. Flair starts up the ladder, again, but is met by Edge. Flair is knocked off the ladder, and Edge grabs his belt to retain the title.

Winner: Edge

After the match, Edge spears Flair, but Cena breaks up the con-chair-to. Cena grabs a chair, and Edge and Lita scurry to the back as the show ends.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is seeking therapy after almost seeing "little Edge" in person last week during RAW in Hershey. If you can help email Dale at DPLummer627@yahoo.com. (Mad props to former SLAM! Wrestling writer Aaron "Hank" Henry for the free front row tickets again.)


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