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Smackdown: Can Batista capture double gold?
By ANDY McNAMARA SLAM! Wrestling


With Armageddon only three days away, many questions remain unanswered. Who will JBL's opponent be? Will Batista and Mysterio be tag champions going against Raw title holders Kane and Big Show? And what is Randy Orton's mental state heading into Hell in a Cell? We'll find out soon, on to the report!

Match 1: The Boogey Man vs. Nunzio w/Vito

The Boogey Man starts off the show from Springfield, Massachusetts with a series of trapped headbutts on the FBI member. Boogey has worms coming out of his mouth and is chewing! Before anyone can break a sweat Boogey Man finishes off Nunzio with the Pump Handle Slam. Vito thinks about coming in for the save but backs down once he sees the crazed look in Boogey's eyes. To cap it all off poor Nunzio has worms stuffed in his mouth. Papa Shango 2000 wins again.

WINNER: The Boogey Man

We are taken to the locker room with Cowboy Bob Orton telling Randy to speak with the sports psychologist that he brought with him tonight. Randy walks into the room alone.

After the break Randy is laying on the couch speaking to the sports psychologist, who tells The Legend Killer that his decision to face The Undertaker is one of life or death.

The cameras then switch to Batista getting ready in the dressing room when the lovely Melina walks in. She wants the champ to withdraw from the tag match tonight between himself and Rey vs. MNM, and makes out with him to try and prove her point.

Match 2: Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy w/Juventud and Psicosis

Before the bell Juventud and Psicosis get sent to the back. This one has match of the night potential if it is given some time. Super Crazy start off with some acrobatics taking it to Kash. Kid Kash regains control with a nasty reverse neckbreaker over the top rope. Some miscommunication and almost sloppy spots between the two superstars in the early going. Crazy misses the top rope moonsault, and Kash capitalizes with the brainbuster for the win. After the bell Kash is not finished as he attempts to brainbuster Super Crazy onto a steel chair, before his Mexicool partners run in for the save.

WINNER: Kid Kash

Randy is shown coming out of the psychiatrist's office and tells his dad that he has an announcement to tell everyone tonight.

Cameras go to a shot of Melina putting back on her shirt and confirming with Batista that they have a deal for him not to compete tonight. Batista laughs and says no, but thanks her for the warm-up.

Match 3: Tag Team Championship: MNM (c) vs. Batista and Rey Mysterio

Melina is so upset by being tricked by Batista that she doesn't do her traditional ring entrance, much to the chagrin of Taz and all male wrestling fans. Batista waves and taunts Melina from inside the ring. Rey starts off with Mercury, and the crowd bellows a deafening "Eddie" chant. The smoke from the pyro is not clearing from the ring and there is a fog haze in the arena. Rey is moving so quickly, flipping and flopping all over Joey Mercury. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb on Mercury, but Nitro makes the save with a super kick, temporarily stunning the world champion. Mysterio hits an incredible leaping top rope moonsault to the outside on both Nitro and Mercury. After the commercial break Nitro and Mysterio are trading blows back and forth with Nitro scoring a near fall after a powerbomb. Later on Nitro nails a unique break dancing leg drop onto Mysterio. I've also noticed that to pump up Rey the crowd chants "Eddie" and Mysterio acknowledges the cheers by doing the Eddie shake. Mysterio is on fire in this match with too many manoeuvres to describe, including a reverse hurricarana from the top turnbuckle. The finish comes when Rey hits a double 619 on Nitro and Melina, allowing Batista to drive Mercury into the ground with the Batista Bomb. The world champ now has double gold as he and Mysterio are the new tag team champions. At Armageddon this Sunday it will be the Smackdown tag title holders vs. the Raw tag champs Kane and Big Show.

WINNERS: Batista and Rey Mysterio

Match 4: Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Birchill w/William Regal

These big youngsters are exchanging power moves with Lashley getting the advantage early on. After suplexing Birchill and knocking Regal off the apron, Lashley disposes of the young Englishman in quick fashion with The Dominator. Lashley remains undefeated.

WINNER: Bobby Lashley

Backstage Matt Hardy is being interviewed by Crystal as JBL on crutches interrupts him. The self proclaimed sucker punches Hardy who then tackles and pounds away on JBL until security breaks up the brawl.

Teddy Long is in the psychologist's office with the doctor as Teddy is asking what Randy Orton's mental status is. The doctor calls the Hell in a Cell match barbaric and refuses to tell the Smackdown GM any information on Orton's condition.

Batista and Mysterio celebrate their new championships when a humble Randy Orton congratulates Batista. He says that him and Batista will never know who the best out of the two are and walks away. Batista and Mysterio are confused by Orton's words.

Match 5: Booker T w/Sharmell vs. Matt Hardy

JBL makes his way down to the announcers table to take in this contest. Also, it has just been announced that JBL and Hardy will face off at Armageddon this Sunday. Hardy can really be elevated with a victory over JBL and certainly needs the win more than Bradshaw. Matt Hardy is teeing off on The Book Man and dives over the top rope to the outside. Hardy hits a big leg drop off the top turnbuckle for a near fall and then JBL drags out Hardy and delivers a Clothesline from Hell when Sharmell distracts the referee. Matt is rolled back in as Booker delivers the Scissors Kick for the three count.

WINNER: Booker T

Following a commercial Randy Orton saunters down to the ring and has a very serious look on his head. Orton runs down his career accomplishments and says that at 25 years old he now realizes that no one can kill the legend of The Undertaker. Orton elaborates that Hell in a Cell shortens careers and shocks the crowd that he is announcing his retirement from the WWE. Randy says he wants to go out on top and is killing his own legend by retiring. Teddy Long storms out and says that Orton has a contract to compete and he will sue The Legend Killer for breach of contract. Orton starts to walk up the ramp when the ominous gong of Taker's song hits, and the druids come marching out followed by The Undertaker. Orton begs Taker to leave him alone and says that he is done and retired. All of a sudden one of the druids holds up an urn and removes his hood ... it's Bob Orton! Randy kicks Taker in the groin and RKO's The Dead Man. Taker sits back up but Orton busts him open with numerous hard chair shots. Undertaker is still stirring so Orton strikes him with the urn and this finally keeps The Dead Man down. A bloodied image of The Undertaker is shown as the program goes off the air.


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  • Order the book Eddie Guerrero: Cheating Death, Stealing Life

    Andy McNamara is a SLAM! Wrestling writer from Pickering, ON. He also writes reports for The LAW and does the play-by-play broadcasts for Durham College sports. He asks: Do you think Matt Hardy will get his well deserved push at Armageddon or remain buried and main eventing Velocity? Andy can be reached at andymcnamara@hotmail.com