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COMMENT





Raw: Stars battle for 'chamber' spot
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


The burning question going into to tonight’s RAW from Boston, Mass., is pretty obvious. Who is the new General Manager of RAW? With this being the holiday season, I afraid WWE will give us a huge lump of coal.

Vince McMahon kicks off the show from the ramp, telling the crowd that there will be no bait-and-switch. Eric Bischoff is fired, and it’s time to find a new GM. Who could it be? Steph? (Oh, hell no…I lived in fear of her return when I covered Smackdown, and now she’s followed me to RAW.) Shane? Theo Epstein? (For the Sox fan.) Ted Turner? Or one of you? (Well, not me. I’m sure my resume was shredded as soon as they saw me name.) Vince announces that the interview process will start tonight. (And since my phone isn’t ringing, I don’t think I’m on the list.) But he is going to name an interim GM, and it’s none other the Vinny Mac himself.

Match # 1 – Kurt Angle vs. Ric Flair – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Even though Bischoff is gone, his legacy lives on, as the Elimination Chamber match for New Year’s Revolution is still on. And tonight we will have five qualifying matches. Flair and Angle start off with some amateur wrestling. The Nature Boy serves up some chops to the Olympic hero, but Angle nails a German suplex. The gold medallist slaps on the ankle lock (which I think Styles is calling the “Angle lock”, or am I just hearing things?) Flair is able to get to the ropes to break the hold. After the required in match commercial, Angle has Flair locked in a body scissors. Flair breaks the hold, and Angle charges Flair in the corner. Flair sidesteps him, and Angle rams himself into the ring post. Flair locks in the figure four, but Angle gets to the ropes. Another series of chops sends Angle scurrying from the ring. The Olympic Champ brings a chair back with him into the ring. Flair cuts him off, but as the ref tosses the chair out, Angle grabs his gold medal and clock Flair with it. The ref never sees it, and Angle covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Kurt Angle

Angle grabs the mike and addresses the crowd. He tells everyone that he won’t be going on the Afghanistan trip, because he gets no respect here at home. Angle runs down the fans and the troops. Angle then says he going to desecrate Boston’s hometown heroes. Davari is standing in the Fleet Center’s Walk of Fame (I don’t know what the real name is, but that’s what it looks like.) First he spits on the statue of Larry Bird (Uh-oh, there’s gonna be a riot.) He then grabs some spray paint to give Bobby Orr a new paint job. Hometown Boy John Cena cuts him off. The Champ calls out Angle for disrespecting the troops, and not going overseas.

Backstage, Edge gives Flair a hard time for losing his match. Edge tells him he can always go out on the Mass Pike and beat up a motorist.

Shelton Benjamin stops by Shawn Michael’s locker room to clear things up from last week. HBK says Benji picked one heck of a time to show some attitude. Shelton says he’ll beat Carlito and the HBK will see some serious attitude at New Year’s Revolution.

Match # 2 – Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito - Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Benjamin wastes no time, grabbing Carlito by his hair, and bringing him over the ropes. Benji nails a backbreaker, but Carlito respond with one of his own. Carlito then locks in a Boston Crab, but Benjamin rolls through, and almost gets the pin. Benjamin gets off the T-bone suplex (which fellow Slam! writer Nick Tylwalk mentions is more like a T-bone power slam, now.) Instead of going for the cover, Benji grabs an apple. He leans over Carlito to spit it in his face, but Carlito grabs Benjamin and roll him into a small package. Carlito get the three count and steal the win.

Winner via pin fall: Carlito

Trevor Murdoch grabs Vince for a moment of his time. The big guy wants to be GM, (and here I was hoping he would ask to be re-teamed with Lance Cade.) Vince calls his chew disgusting and just kinda blows him off. Vince walks into his office where Candace Michelle is waiting. She wants the GM position (um…there’s a joke here, but this is a family site.) Vinnie Mac asks about her qualifications, and she proceeds to strip down to her lingerie. She then does that gyrating spin, when Kurt Angle barges in. He tells Vince that they need to talk.

Match #3 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Big Show - Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

HBK is immediately tossed into the corner. Michaels respond with chops, but Show cuts him down with a head butt. Show follows with chops, and then a big boot. HBK dodge an elbow drop. Show catches HBK on a flying forearm attempt, and tosses him into the corner. Michaels hits two clotheslines, but then walks into a choke slam. HBK counters it with an impressive DDT. HBK drops an elbow from the top rope into the heart of the giant. Michaels tunes up the band, and connect with Sweet Chin Music. It doesn’t take down Show, so HBK loads another kick. Show blocks the kick and hits a choke slam, when Triple H walks to the ring. Trips grabs a chair, as HBK rolls out of the ring. Show and the Cerebral Assassin stare each other down, when HHH clocks HBK with the chair, disqualifying Big Show.

Winner via DQ: Shawn Michaels

Back in Vince’s office, Angle tells the boss that he needs to make a statement tonight. He wants Cena in the ring, in his home town. Vinnie Mac tells Angle to back off, and there will be no match. Vince instead tells Davari he will face Cena, in a “You can’t see me” Match. Vince then tells Kurt that he has the right to knock out troops, but he better never interrupt him again.

Match #4 – Viscera vs. Chris Masters - Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

The winner of this match is a foregone conclusion, so I don’t even need to take notes. After some struggles, Masters gets the Master Lock on the big man. Viscera submits, and Masters will get is PPV bonus.

Winner via submission: Chris Masters

Trish Stratus wants to talk to Mickie James about their “friendship” before her match. Mickie tells Trish she also has something to say. She thanks Trish for the last few months, and then mention her grand pappy, who just passed away, and how he took her to watch wrestling, and so on and so on. Trish can’t bring herself to tell Mickie off, and wishes her luck in her match.

We have a Matt Striker sighting! And he’s holding class. Striker wants to talk about family values, and proceeds to run down the Boston crowd. Striker is good on the stick, but can he wrestle? (Nick says yes.)

The GM search continues, as Chris Novi…Novit…Novis…the Harvard guy from Tough Enough, throws his name in the hat, only to be interrupted by Dusty Rhoads!?!

Match #5 – Mickie James vs. Victoria – Number One Contenders Match

Mickie picks up the win with a DDT, and doesn’t even break out any of Trish’s moves.

Winner via pin fall: Mickie James

Match #6 – Triple H vs. Kane - Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

So the question is not will Big Show interfere, but when. Kane tosses Trips into the corner to start the match, and follows with a side slam. HHH tries to crawl from the ring, but is cut off by Kane. Triple H counters with a knee smash to Kane’s face. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Kane counters and drops HHH on the turnbuckle. Kane tries a big boot, but catches the ref instead. Triple HHH nails Kane with a low blow, and follows with a DDT. Show walks to the ring, and faces off with Trips. Kane sits up behind HHH, and Trips walks into a choke slam. Big Show gets in on the fun, and the two hold HHH in the air, before slamming him into the mat. Big Show revives the ref, and Kane covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Kane

Match #7 – John Cena vs. Davari – You can’t see me Match

John Cena is blindfolded for this match. Angle and Davari mess with the champ, as he grasps at air trying to get to Davari. Eventaully the champ turns to the crowd for help, as they yell when Cena points at Davari. Cena walks into a cheap shot from Angle on the apron. But Cena finds Davari, and doesn’t let him go. The champ locks in an STF, and Davari taps.

Winner via submission: John Cena

Angle tries to attack Cena, but the champs takes the blindfold off. He chases Angle from the ring, and then nails Davari with the F-U.

Dale Plummer has been writing for Slam! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is asking for references to send to Vince for the RAW General Manager job. Email your support to Dplummer627@yahoo.com