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   Fri, December 9, 2005



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Impact: Baseball becomes basebrawl
By CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling


Well, it isn't the first time wrestling and baseball have clashed, but heh, it's worth a shot. Will the attempt to use the Chicago White Sox name prove to be a "Grand Slam" idea, or a strike out. Grab your mitt, stretch out and be prepared for any knuckleballs TNA might throw your way on this "Hit-or-Miss" edition of Impact.

Match One - America's Most Wanted and Jeff Jarrett vs The Naturals and "The Charismatic Enigma" Jeff Hardy

Jarrett didn't allow Hardy to slither down the entrance ramp, attacking him straight out of the tunnel. AMW and The Naturals joined in and the fight wound up all over the Impact Zone. At one point, Andy Douglas used Chase Stevens as a catapault off the stage, hitting a tope on top of AMW. The match eventually made its way into the ring, allowing for a little rasslin' action to take place, before Stevens was triple teamed and finished off with The Stroke.

Winners Via Pinfall - America's Most Wanted and Jeff Jarrett

Despite having won the match, AMW and Jarrett continued the beat down, handcuffing Hardy to the guardrail and then putting Douglas through a table that had "3D" spray painted on it. Oh the audacity!

"The Rhino Files" returned for its third installment. Rhino talked a little bit about his neck injury, and how he was going to recapture the NWA World Heavyweight Championship at Turning Point. It wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if he did, he could make a solid champion.

We are whisked away to the famous scene of Raven being held back by security, while uttering useless drivel in the direction of Larry Zybysko. Zybysko insisted that Raven sign his release before he had to wrestle again at Turning Point. Raven again declined, accepting the consequences. Zybysko told Raven he could not be threatened, as Raven exited with a little...okay a lot of assistance from security.

Match Two - "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe vs The Amazing Red

Alex Shelly decided to bring his video camera ringside and test his hand at filming a match. He picked a doozy, as Joe nearly demolished Red. Sure the kid from Brooklyn got a few shots in, but it wasn't enough to avoid The Muscle Buster, followed by a Rear Naked Choke. He tapped! He tapped! Afterwards, Shelly began walking up the ring steps, only to be chased away by Joe.

Winner Via Submission - "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe

Morphoplex Move of the Night - The Muscle Buster (No Petey Williams in this one?)

In the ring with X Division stars, "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles, "The Original Playa From The Himalayas" Sonjay Dutt and Chris Sabin, "The Professor" Mike Tenay introduced TNA's special guests, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Dale "The Demon" Torborg and Chicago White Sox's catcher, AJ Pierzynski. After exchanging pleasantries and a few gifts, The Diamonds In The Rough made their presence felt, interrupting the ceremony. Simon Diamond informed Pierzynski that the only reason he is famous is because he struck out and made it to first base because the catcher fell asleep at the switch, leading to my favorite line of the night courtesy of Don West, "It doesn't matter how you win Simon." Diamond jacked his jaw for a little while longer, before slapping the taste of Torborg's mouth, leading to a pull apart brawl. This set up the Turning Point match that will feature The Diamonds In The Rough vs Dale "The Demon" Torborg, Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt w/ AJ Pierzynski in their corner and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan on commentary.

The 4 Live Kru cut their usual pre-match promo, before heading to the ring for...

Match Three - Konnan and Kip James w/ Ron "The Truth" Killings and BG James vs The Beasts of Burden (Synn and Helvis)

Kru talked some more and were jumped from behind by the Beasts. Synn and Helvis hung on for a bit, but were taken off guard by the vets and not given any chance at a comeback. Synn found himself looking up at the ceiling, while Helvis found himself tapping to The Tequila Sunrise. After the match, "Bullet" Bob Armstrong was shown giving his approval.

Winners Via Submission - Konnan and Kip James

Terry Taylor stood by with Bobby Roode and Coach Scott D'Amore as they ran down Christian Cage for turning down Team Canada's generous offer. D'Amore can cut a promo like no other.

A video package hyping the Sabu/Abyss Barbed Wire Massacre Match was shown. That should be very, very interesting.

Match Four - Christian Cage vs Bobby Roode w/ Coach Scott D'Amore

Back and forth contest that saw D'Amore get involved on several occasions, trying to sway the momentum in Roode's favor. Things heated up when the ref was inadvertantly knocked out. Cage seized the opportunity, bringing D'Amore into the ring and setting up to hit him. As he was about to clock D'Amore, "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown hit the ring. Brown went to POOOOOOOUNNNNNNCEEE! Period. Cage, but instead connected with D'Amore. Cage sent Brown flying to the floor. Roode tried to use the hockey stick, but a drop toe hold led to him cracking himself in the face. Dazed, confused and with nowehere to go, Roode suffered an Unprettier for the one-two-three.

Winner Via Pinfall - Christian Cage

As Christian celebrated in the ring, he was caught off guard and hit with the POOOOOUNNCEE! Period. When is that going to be Morphoplex Move of the Night?

Father James Mitchell and "The Monster" Abyss made their way to the ring to run down Sabu. As they were doing that, the lights went out, and when they came back on, the ring ropes were now barbed wire, and they were now joined in the ring by the man they called out. Again, their match at Turning Point should be insane.

We then shot over to a PPV hype video before wrapping up a "Grand Slam" edition of Impact. With TNA announcing the introduction of razor wire into the Barbed Wire Massacre, it is only to easy to predict that the match will be one to look out for. Hopefully TNA can rebound from a few mediocre PPVs, but only they have the power to decide that.

TNA Turning Point Card:

- A Major Surprise

- NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match - Jeff Jarrett (C) vs "The Man Beast" Rhino

- TNA X Division Championship Match - "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles (C) vs "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe

- Tables Match - America's Most Wanted vs Team 3D

- Barbed Wire Massacre - "The Monster" Abyss w/ Father James Mitchell vs Sabu

- Number One Contenders Match - Christian Cage vs "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown

- Raven vs Larry Zybysko's Mystery Opponent

- The Diamonds In The Rough vs Dale "The Demon" Torborg, Chris Sabin and "The Original Playa From The Himalayas" Sonjay Dutt w/ AJ Pierzynki in their corner and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan on commentary.

- The 4 Live Kru vs Team Canada w/ Coach Scott D'Amore

- Matt Bentley and Austin Aries w/ Traci Brooks vs Alex Shelly and Roderick Strong

Pre Show Card:

- 8 Man Tag Team Match - "The Charasmatic Enigma" Jeff Hardy, Lance Hoyt and The Naturals vs Buck Quatermain, Lex Lovett, Jon Bolen and Joe Doering

Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and wants to know which Morphoplex employee is getting fired for not including Petey Williams in this episode's Move of the Night. If you have any insight into the matter, email Chris at CJS137@aol.com.


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  • Enigma: Best of Jeff Hardy DVD