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COMMENT





Raw: Bischoff's on thin ice
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


With another Survivor Series in the books, the question isn't "How are the RAW superstars going to handle the fall out from losing to Smackdown?", but "What is WWE going to do to stop the fans from turning on Cena?". Actually, I think it's going to be more like what are they going to do to keep forcing a heel Kurt Angle down our throats.

Eric Bischoff stands in the middle of the ring as the show starts from Cleveland, Ohio. The GM calls every RAW superstar to the ring, ready to read them the riot act for failing last night. Not one wrestler walks out, though. Bischoff calls them out again, and no one shows. Eric then threatens to fire the first person he sees, when Vince McMahon's music hits. The WWE Chairman tells Bischoff he won't be firing anyone. Vince calls Bisch the failure, saying he set three goals last night, and didn't achieve one of them. Vince tells him to set a goal tonight and achieve it, or he'll start look for a new GM. Eric says he can't be replaced. Shane McMahon makes his way to the ring, and he tells Bischoff he was born to do this job.

Match # 1 -- Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito

On WWE Unlimited, Carlito says RAW would have won last night if he was the captain. Carlito spits in Michaels' face to start the match, and then chokes him with a T-shirt. HBK fights back with chops, but Carlito responds with a backbreaker. Carlito almost knocks Michaels from the ring, but HBK skins the cat, only to have Carlito clothesline him out of the ring. Michaels almost steals a win, after rolling through a high cross body, but Carlito kicks out at two. A flying forearm bu HBK knocks both men to the mat. Michaels kicks up, but his knee buckles as he sticks it. HBK rolls outside the ring, as the ref checks him. Carlito takes advantage, nailing HBK with a baseball slide. After the break, Michaels continues to sell the leg injury. Twice he pulls up on Sweet Chin Music. Carlito nails a DDT, but only get a two count on the pin. HBK pulls himself up in the corner, and is able to land the super kick on Carlito. HBK covers and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Shawn Michaels

A recap of Survivor Series airs. You can read it here. (Why isn't the theme song to Survivor Series Eye of the Tiger?)

Maria stops by to ask Bischoff some questions. She wants to know if he thinks he's going to get fired. This really sets him off when she says Shane told her to ask that. Bischoff tells her that she is going to have a match with Kurt Angle, tonight.

Match # 2 -- Kurt Angle vs. Maria

Davari heads to the ring to call the match, but is turned away by referee Chad Patton. Davari argues, but is told by Patton to head to the back. Patton hits Davari, and Angle's personal ref starts to leave. Davari instead attacks Patton from behind, and slaps the Camel Clutch on him. With Davari in place as ref, Angle hits the ring. He tells Maria that he doesn't want to wrestle her. He wants a hug. Maria obliges, but Davari rings the bell. Maria takes an Angle Slam, and is about to get the ankle lock, when Cena hits the ring. The Champ starts to clean house, but is attacked by Chris Masters. Bischoff walks to ringside, and announces tonight's Main Event. The GM books Cena in a Triple Threat Submission match against Angle and Masters, the goal being for Cena to lose his title. Cena then gets an Angle Slam for good measure. (So we'll just have Angle beat up on women to keep him a heel. Now that's a class move.)

No Contest

Match #3 -- Trish Stratus, Mickie James, and Ashley vs. Candice Michelle, Victoria, and Torrie Wilson

I could do a play-by-play of this match, but I'd rather not. I know everyone expects Mickie to turn on Trish, but I think it'll be the other way around. It would work so much better, too. James doesn't even have to cost Trish a match for the heel turn. James keeps acting like Trish as a tribute, just punk her out after a match. Anyway, Mickie James pins Victoria after hitting Stratusfaction on her.

Winner via pinfall: Trish Stratus, Mickie James, and Ashley

After the break, Shane stops by to visit with Bischoff. Shane admonishes the GM for putting Maria in a match with Kurt Angle. Bischoff tells Shane that the only reason he is where he is today is because of his genes. Shane grabs Bischoff and slams him into the wall, and tells the GM that his time is running out.

Davari is helping Angle get ready for tonight's match. Angle wants Davari to ring the bell before Cena has a chance to do anything. Chris Masters walks in, and says he went to Vince to get a new ref for tonight. Masters wants a fair shake at the title, tonight.

Match #4 -- Shelton Benjamin vs. Trevor Murdoch

Benji wastes no time attacking Murdoch, and chasing him to the floor. Back in the ring, Benjamin hits a spinning heel kick, but misses and flying forearm. Benji then misses on a sunset flip. He connects with a corner splash, but Murdoch smashes him into the turnbuckle. Murdoch rolls up Benjamin, grabbing the tights for leverage. Benjamin can't kick out, and Murdoch steals the win.

Winner via pinfall: Trevor Murdoch

Triple H makes his way to the ring to address the crowd. He calls himself a humanitarian, saying he has made sure Ric Flair is getting the best care. He then tells Ric to stay down, telling him he has goen out on top. Trips goes on to say that he did what no one else would, and there is no man that will look him in the eye. Then the Big Show hits the ring. Show tells The Game that he can't let this slide, and that his time is now. HHH tries to retort, but Show knocks the microphone from his grasp. HHH slinks out of the ring, and talks trash as he walks back up the ramp.

Match #5 -- Big Show and Kane vs. Snitsky and Tyson Tomko -- World Tag Team Title Match

We join this match all ready in progress, and we haven't missed much. Big Show nails a choke slam on Tomko for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Big Show and Kane

Match #6 -- John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Masters -- Triple Threat Submission WWE Title Match

Cena attacks Masters as the match starts, but is immediately double teamed. Angle and Masters suplex the champ, but then Angle turns on Masters, knocking him from the ring. Cena sets up the F-U, but Angle counters into the ankle lock. Masters returns and breaks the hold on Cena, but putting Angle in the Master Lock. Cena breaks that hold, only to be on the receiving end of a vertical suplex. Cena is then put in the Master Lock, which Angle breaks up. Masters tries to lock up Angle again, but the Olympic champ slips out, and slaps on the ankle lock. A double axe handle by Cena breaks the hold, and a belly-to-back powerbomb lays out Angle. Cena sets up for a five-knuckle shuffle, but runs into a Masters clothesline. Angle slips from the ring to get a chair (oh yea, this is a no DQ match, too). Masters picks up Cena, but the champ kicks the chair into Angle's face. Cena then goes to work on Masters with the chair, and then slaps a STF on him. With Angle on the outside, Masters taps to the STF.

Winner via submission: John Cena

Vince and Shane are watching from the back, and mention next week it's time to take out the trash.


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    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale would like to send out belated condolences to the friends of and family of Eddie Guerrero. Dale was out of town for three weeks and unable to express his feelings. You can e-mail Dale at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.