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Impact: A wild time had by all
By
CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling
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I am beginning to wonder whether this is Spike TV
or the Discovery Channel. All this talk about the Serengetti and POOOOUNNNCEES,
period, was leading me to believe that I turned on the wrong channel. But this was Spike TV, and that was no wildebeast.
We kicked off Impact with a video package that
highlighted "Captain Charisma," as well as the POOOUNNNCEE, period, that was
heard around the Impact Zone.
Match One - "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown vs Helvis
Ouch! Brown dismantled Helvis and beat him with the POOUN...oh you get it.
Winner Via Pinfall - "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown
The Morphoplex Move of the Night -
This is unfair, but it was the POOOUNNCEE! Period.
Next up was a video package that showed the
events that have transpired with the 3 Live Kru. Please, somebody, make
something happen that puts a conclusive end on this catastrophe. Honestly,
nobody cares about this anymore.
Out came the 3 Live Kru as well as Kip James to
do their skit. BG James headed the petition to get Kip in the Kru. Killings had
no problem, but Konnan still needed to be convinced. After listening to BG,
Konnan folded, marking the arrival of the 4 Live Kru.
It was noted by a doctor backstage that "The
Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels received a grade 3 concussion at the hands of
Samoa Joe after their Genesis PPV match. The doctor went on to say that Daniels
could not compete again until he was free of concussion symptoms.
Match Two - "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles vs
Chris Sabin
Exactly what you would expect from these two, a
high flying and innovative X Division match. Samoa Joe made a not-so-surprising
appearance from behind the curtain, as he watched on from the ramp. Styles was
able to put Sabin away with a Styles Clash for the victory, keeping momentum in
the X champ's favor.
Winner Via Pinfall - "The Phenomenal" AJ
Styles
Another video package was shown that recapped the
whole Raven/Larry Zybysko "Feud." It was announced that Zybysko has booked a
Raven's House of Fun match for next week's edition of Impact. But who will be
his opponent?
In the promo area, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas
interviewed Christian Cage, who let it be known that he would be facing "The
Alpha Male" Monty Brown at Turning Point. Gail Kim appeared and told him that he
was wise in joining TNA, but that it wasn't a good move to turn down Jeff
Jarrett. America's Most Wanted came in and backed up the TNA Knockout before
leaving.
Match Three - "The Monster" Abyss w/
Father James Mitchell vs "The Charismatic Enigma" Jeff
Hardy
Hard hitting, back and forth contest that saw
brawling techniques used expertly. Hardy used his quickness to his advantage,
while Abyss used his sheer power. When "The Monster" went to use a chair thrown
in by Father James Mitchell, the lights went out and Sabu appeared at
ringside. Abyss was taken off his game and planted with a Twist of Fate for the
three count.
Winner Via Pinfall - "The Charismatic
Enigma" Jeff Hardy
Match Four - Jeff Jarrett w/ Gail
Kim vs Kip James
Prior to the match, James re-informed Jarrett of
his name, using some explicit language. James was all over Jarrett at the
opening bell, Jarrett came back before Jackie Gayda made her return to the
Impact Zone. Jarrett went to stop her from hitting Gail Kim, but couldn't. James
capitalized and nearly pinned the champion. Jarrett got back to a vertical base,
yelling for Kim to come back, as Bobby Roode hit the ring and laid out James
with a hockey stick, allowing Jarrett to pick up the win. After the match the
rest of the 4 Live Kru as well as Team Canada came down to brawl it out in
typical TNA fashion. As the brawl ensued, Jarrett made his way backstage
screaming, "Wheres Gail?"
Winner Via Pinfall - Jeff
Jarrett
TNA needs to start thinking about getting some
different big name talent on Impact. Having Christian, Raven or The
Dudleys cut a promo is fine and all, but at the least they should wrestle a
squash match. Raven is wrestling his third TNA storyline affiliated match in
three months next week, with one of them taking place on a non-TNA card.
Why waste all this expensive talent, when it can be used to push the
show? Use them as much as possible to get your home-grown talent
over. Impact has improved by leaps and bounds, but there are still those
little details that need to be touched on.
Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and
enjoys watching people get POOOUNCEED! Period.
