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Smackdown: A gimmick-filled night
By
ANDY MCNAMARA - SLAM! Wrestling
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Who will be the man in San Fran? Two legends get back into the ring, and
what will the fallout between Benoit and Booker T from the U.S.
title match last week be? With the standard spoiler alert to our day-behind U.S. readers, on to the report!
Christian is in the ring in San Francisco's famed Cow Palace, as The Peep Show starts off Smackdown this week. Gradually each of the five possible options for the tag team match
against Chris Masters and Edge interrupt Christian and plead their case as
to why they should be chosen for the Taboo Tuesday pay-per-view. With JBL,
Hardcore Holly, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and Christian arguing in the ring,
Teddy Long struts out and makes a Five Man Free For All match that
starts ... right now!
Match 1: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio vs. JBL vs. Bob Holly vs.
Christian
A jumble of bodies pound away inside the ring as everyone is able to
ignite a bit of offense. An insane five-man double superplex/powerbomb, with
Christian on the top rope occurs, the crowd erupts with "Holy S**t" chants.
In a fast paced exciting finish, all five men deliver their finishers as
Mysterio pins Christian with the West Coast Pop. What an awesome last half
of the match.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio
Booker T and Sharmell are in Teddy Long's GM office where Long shows
Book footage of Sharmell low blowing Chris Benoit, giving her husband the
U.S. title victory. Booker is disgusted with his wife's actions last week
and is giving Benoit a rematch tonight ... and Sharmell has to personally
apologize to Benoit.
Cameras cut to Rowdy Roddy Piper walking backstage and he bumps into his
old partner Bob Orton. The two old timers bicker about who was better than
who (I would hate to be a new wrestling fan trying to piece together a
rivalry stemming from 1985). Randy pops in and exchanges insults with the
Hot Rod.
We switch to Simon Dean in the parking area as one of the new juniors
tries to give him a ticket for riding his motorized stand-up vehicle. Dean
insults the midget with typical short jokes, however, the little person
keeps Dean occupied long enough to have some of his friends tie a rope
around the vehicle, causing Dean to fly off when he rode away.
Match 2: WWE Juniors -- Pitbull Patterson vs. Short Sleeve Sampson
I enjoy a comedic midget match as much as the next guy, but when you
have a locker room filled with talented cruiserweights, why not try to
resurrect the dead cruiserweight division? The entire match was nothing
special and had a few comedic spots. Sampson gets the win with a splash off
of the referee's back. After the bell Simon Dean storms to the ring trying
to beat up Sampson for embarrassing him earlier. Patterson ends up tripping
Dean and the two Juniors put a mini sized beat down on Dean.
WINNER: Short Sleeve Sampson
Booker T and Sharmell are out in the squared circle asking Benoit to
come down and receive a public apology. Booker apologizes as to how he won
the title last week and forces a hesitant Sharmell to say sorry. Sharmell
insults Book for being a loser and teases leaving him, getting out of the
ring and walking up the ramp. Benoit is yelling at Sharmell and the heel
turn happens when Booker smashes the Crippler with the U.S. belt. This angle
really freshens up Booker T's character and now a great feud between Benoit
and Booker can develop. Could we see a second best-of-seven series for the
title?
Match 3: Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Championship:
Road Warriors vs. Psicosis and Super Crazy vs. Regal and Burchill vs.
MNM
There are a lot of gimmick matches tonight, possibly desperation by WWE
for the generally poor Smackdown product. However, I will agree with Tazz in
that Melina does have the best ring entrance in history! The rules for this
match up are that anyone can tag any wrestler in. Super Crazy hits a
lightening quick top rope moonsault on Mercury early on. With the excitement
of Psicosis and Super Crazy it is a shame that they have no program or
purpose on Smackdown. The new tag team of James and Chad rush down and knock
Heidenreich off the top rope, allowing MNM to nail the Snapshot on
Heidenreich for the victory.
WINNER: New tag team champions ... MNM
Teddy Long has Nunzio and Vito in his office making a handicap match for
the two Italians against Bobby Lashley for next week. Teddy goes to leave
the room but is greeted by The Boogey Man! Boogey boy sings and talks
creepily to Teddy as the show goes to break.
Batista and Eddie Guerrero are in the back lot where Batista surprises
Eddie with a new low rider. The best buddies hop into the sweet ride as we
all get ready for the main event.
Match 4: MAIN EVENT -- Eddie, Batista and Piper vs. Ken Kennedy and The
Ortons
Roddy Piper receives a monster ovation from the Cow Palace fans ...
unfortunately the Hot Rod hasn't realized that he doesn't have the physique
to pull off the small tights anymore, YIKES! Piper is moving around well
for a guy with an artificial hip as he briefly mounts some offence on Randy Orton. The Ortons and
Kennedy tag back and forth wearing down Piper for the majority of the match.
Batista and Eddie get tired of their opponents cheating and rush in to clean
house. Piper locks on the sleeper on Bob Orton and his ex-buddy passes
out, winning the match for Piper's team.
WINNER: Batista, Eddie, Roddy Piper
A gimmick-filled show had its moments tonight, especially with the
opening Five-Man Free For All match. It is also great to see some importance
FINALLY put behind the U.S. title. Hopefully Benoit and Booker can live up
to their classic matchups of the past.
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. JBL vs. Rey Mysterio
vs. Hardcore Holly
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Order your WWE Chris Benoit Double DVD set now!
Andy McNamara is a SLAM! Wrestling Writer from Pickering, Ontario.
Andy asks: does anyone think that the current Benoit vs. Booker T feud will
come anywhere close to their battles in WCW? Share your thoughts at
andymcnamara@hotmail.com.
