September 11, 2005
Born to lose ... no more jobbers
By TIM BAINES - Ottawa Sun

Jobber: A wrestler who's paid to lose. Not just one match ... it's watching your opponent's hand get raised in victory night after night, loss after loss.

Jobbers are a disappearing breed. Sure you've got guys like Simon Dean and Val Venis, who seem to lose often, but it's just not the same ... not like it used to be.

The jobber would go the ring, often with no entrance music and would never get any microphone time.

Just go out, get pummelled, perhaps lobbing a few ineffective punches, get pinned, then collect a pittance of a paycheque.

Jobbing isn't what it used to be.

Nah, there's no Iron Mike Sharpe out there.

No Brooklyn Brawler. No Barry Horowitz. No Silent Brian MacNee (yep, the guy really was deaf and mute). No Johnny Rodz. No Terry Yorkston. No Sodbuster Kenny Jay. No Terry Taylor, who rarely won when he became the ill-conceived Red Rooster.

And there was the classic George Gadaski ... Scrap Iron Gadaski he was called. Gadaski was Ric Flair's first opponent on Dec. 10, 1972. The match ended in a draw. But Gadaski would be loved for his lunchbucket style of losing.

The closest we get to jobbers are the guys who show up in non-televised matches, still winning occasionally. Some of these guys, like Venis, live a rollercoaster ride. Some become champions. Others at least reach mid-card status.

It's just not the same as it once was. Ah, we miss those lovable losers.

- WWE is promising A Night of Champions when it changes from Spike TV to the USA Network on Oct. 3. The lineup is supposed to include Hulk Hogan, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Triple H and Mr. McMahon, along with the regulars.

- Every so often, we see classic Flair. The Nature Boy's performance on RAW on Monday was worthy of five stars ... and then some. Interrupting Carlito's Cabana, he put the grab on Carlito's crotch and squeezed and squeezed, all the while doing the famous Flair strut. Can't wait to see Flair feud with Triple H. I'm not sure I'm ready to buy into Carlito being Flair's attacker the previous Monday.

- Expect Trish Stratus to return to in-ring action on tomorrow night's RAW.

- John Cena rules and Kurt Angle drools. Oh, it's true. Have never seen a man that has so much saliva dripping down his chin.

- It must be a week for waxing nostalgic. The other day, I thought of John Kachmanian ... okay, I didn't really think about Kachmanian, I thought about his in-ring character, Pampero Firpo, The Wild Bull of the Pampas. Kachmanian ... and I think he's still alive, will turn 75 next month. Firpo, in his prime, terrorized Lord Athol Layton on Maple Leaf Wrestling. Firpo would carry a shrunken head, then caress it, while looking up at Athol Layton and saying: Who knows, this could be you." Even at 5-foot-8 and 240 lbs., Firpo was menacing.

- Jackie Gayda says she's signed with TNA. Hubbie Charlie Haas can't be far behind. With Gayda and Gail Kim signed, TNA's women's division gets a huge boost.

- Even with a few bursts of energy, Shawn Michaels could not break Chris Masters' headlock in the Masterlock challenge during RAW. A chairshot to the head drained his last hopes. Someone will break the hold ... but WWE should hold off on having that happen.

- Here's the card for tonight's TNA Unbreakable pay-per-view: Raven vs. Rhino; Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles; The Naturals vs. America's Most Wanted vs. Team Canada vs. Sean Waltman and Alex Shelley; Sabu vs. Abyss; Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode; Kip James and Monty Brown vs. Lance Hoyt and Apolo; 3 Live Kru vs. The Diamonds in the Rough; Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin; and Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong.

- Next Sunday's WWE Unforgiven pay-per-view is shaping up nicely: Cena vs. Angle; Michaels vs. Masters; Matt Hardy vs. Edge in a steel cage; Carlito vs. Flair; and The Big Show vs. Gene Snitsky.

- WWE is pitching in to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Anyone wishing to make a donation should go to www.americares.org. Heidenreich, whose Louisiana hometown was wiped out by the hurricane, was finally able to contact his wife and kids after they made it to Mississippi.

- Spike TV, many reports suggest, will have plenty of fight left in it, even with next month's RAW departure. Ultimate fighting, along with a replay of the TNA show at midnight, should spice it up.

- Spike Dudley is looking for a new ring name. WWE has a hold on the Dudley moniker.


Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!


  • Order Forever Hardcore: The Documentary DVD


  • CANOE.CA SLAM!