August 12, 2005
Smackdown: Matches galore
By JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
We're now just under two weeks away from Summerslam, so we should get the finalized card tonight on the SD! side of things. We're in Columbus, Ohio, so maybe we'll take a quick detour to Cleveland on our way to Montreal for Raw and see if we can finally spot Dale Plummer.
Match 1 ? Booker T vs. Joey Mercury
I haven't mentioned this yet, but there has to be someone counting down the days until Sharmell turns on Booker. Once again, Mercury, Nitro, Melina and the conjoined-twin myslexia patient are all together.
It doesn't take long for the first attempt at interference, and Jillian and Nitro are sent to the back, but of course Melina is left to chill at ringside, and sure enough she gets involved. Booker's offence is primarily kicks this week. A Book-End can't get the cover because of Melina, and Mercury nearly School-Boys Booker for the W. Booker ends up getting the duke, however, off a very ugly Scissors Kick.
Winner: Booker T
Next up is the Peep Show. You've gotta love the blow-up furniture.
Anyways, Christian's guest this week is Batista. He's on the show because Christian doesn't have a bout at Summerslam, and will prove he deserves a match by beating Big Dave tonight. After surveying the fans, Batista agrees to the challenge.
Match 2 ? L.O.D. 2005 vs. J.O.T.W.8-11
This week's jobbers are Johnny Shaver and Jason Schmelik, or something like that. If you don't know what happens here, you have not been watching wrestling for the last 30 years or so.
Winners: L.O.D. 2005
Back from the break, we see the Mysterio family walking in to the arena (my, my, my; aren't we tardy) and then head to a recap of Chapter Two of Eddie's Bedtime Story. I'm curious to see how much the book will get on WWE's auction site.
Next, Randy Orton and Teddy Long have a meeting, and Long tells young Orton he'll face one of Undertaker's old foes who he had a legendary feud with.
Match 3 ? Randy Orton vs. Kamala
Well, I don't know how legendary Kamala's feud with ?Taker was. Heck, there aren't any matches between the two on the upcoming Undertaker DVD, which you can pre-order right now in the SLAM! Wrestling Store.
The match starts off pretty well, with Kim Chee getting involved and getting an RKO for his trouble. Kamala has some strong offence here, but eventually gets distracted by the fallen Kim Chee, allowing Orton to get the RKO.
Before the match can finish, however, The Undertaker makes his video presence again, rather than actually making the trip to Columbus.
Back in the locker room, someone visits Eddie Guererro from family services.
Back to the ring, and Guererro and the social worker are out for Chapter Three. Eddie calls out the Mysterio family, and they step into the ring. Guererro pleads his case to the social worker, but that goes nowhere. Rey keeps telling Eddie that he can't beat him, making the issue that Guererro can never beat him, even in the psychological game they're playing.
Eventually, Mysterio goads Eddie into a match at Summerslam, with custody over Dominic on the line. Well, maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine any social services in Canada ever allowing the fate of a child to be determined in a wrestling match. Ms. Crabtree, the social worker, seems to think the same way, but still lets the match go.
Match 4 ? Mexicools vs. The English Worms
Well, this match was supposed to be on Smackdown last week, but got cut for some reason.
The match is pretty short, with the Mexicools, namely Super Crazy dominating. Eventually, Scottie II Hottie makes his way to his corner, but William Regal drops down off the apron, avoiding the tag. He quickly exits stage left, leaving Scottie alone to be taken care of by the Mexicools.
Backstage, Familia Mysterio is crying over what happened tonight.
After the break, Jillian is interviewed, and issues a challenge to Booker and Sharmell for a match next week against Mercury and Sharmell.
We then head to the video for Right Now.
Match 5 ? Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean
Benoit cuts Dean off mid-promo, and this match becomes a glorified squash very quickly. Dean gets some decent offence, but this match is a foregone conclusion.
Winner: Chris Benoit
Match 6 ? Christian vs. "Big Dave" Batista
The match starts off with some comedy spots before Batista gains control. Christian gets some cheapness in to gain control, but Batista regains control with a back body drop from the top, a definite highlight spot if I've ever seen one.
Before Batista can finish off Christian, however, JBL interferes, drawing the DQ.
Winner: "Big Dave" Batista (DQ)
Post-match, the title fight combatants continue to duke it out, with JBL getting the advantage with the help of a steel chair.
Well, you really can't complain when you get six matches in one episode, even if one was a squash. Solid show, though we're still unsure about the Smackdown matches for Summerslam.
Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000. With only days remaining until Summerslam, Waldman is awaiting word on his challenge to the Velocity roster for a gauntlet match in Washington. Will anyone step up to the plate? Tune in next week to find out.