May 27, 2005
Smackdown: Angle goes low to win
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Coming from the home of beer and bratwursts, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I certainly hope this isn't the "wurst" episode ever. (Yea, it's gonna be that kind of report.)
The show kicks off with still photos from the main event at Judgment Day. And is Michael Cole selling the PPV hard. He calls it the best ever in Smackdown history. I wouldn't know, I didn't see. (And not because I was seeing Star Wars, again.)
Carlito has his new boy, Matt Morgan, in tow. CCC gloats about his win over Big Show, introducing his guest, Carlito. That's right, he's going to interview himself. Carlito says he couldn't have done it without Matt. Carlito decides not to talk to Morgan. CCC says he could beast Show any day with Morgan behind him. General Manager Teddy Long crashes the cabana. Long calls out Carlito on Morgan's interference on Sunday, and calls out his stuttering problem. Long then addresses the draft situation, saying anyone could be drafted to RAW. Long announces a Battle Royal, and the winner gets his choice of opponent next week. Carlito says he's in, and he'll face Cena after he wins. Long then informs Carlito he'll face Big Show, tonight.
Josh Matthews asks Rey Mysterio if he's physically ready for tonight's Battle Royal. Rey Rey says Eddie should have killed him, because he's coming for him.
Match #1 - MNM vs. Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas
Hardcore and Mercury face off, and Nitro hits Holly from behind. Hardcore recovers quickly, and hits a suplex. Mercury chops Holly in the corner. Holly whips Mercury into the corner, and receives several chops. Nitro is the dragged into the ring. Haas tags in and scores a near fall with an Oklahoma roll. Nitro fights back with a series of kicks. Nitro recovers, but Haas counters a high-risk move with a standing dropkick. After the commercial, Haas nails a sunset flip, but Mercury is able to tag in Nitro. Haas explodes with a clothesline. Nitro and Mercury double team Haas. The champs cut Haas off from Holly. Melina slaps Haas, and Hardcore charges the champs' corner, and all hell breaks loose. Haas hits a belly-to-belly, and Hardcore gets the hot tag. Nitro is clotheslined outside the ring, and then hits a flying elbow that takes out Mercury and the ref. Holly hits the Alabama Slam, but cannot get the pin. Nitro slips back in the ring, and nails Hardcore with the chair. The ref sees it, and the champs are disqualified.
Winner via DQ: Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas.
Steve Romero asks Booker T and Sharmell about the match against Kurt Angle. Booker says he's proud of his wife. Sharmell just wants him to win this Battle Royal and then go on to with the WWE Title.
THE CHAMP IS HERE! Cena walks to the ring amid thunderous applause. Cena dedicates the win at Judgment Day to those that never gave up on him. Cena then rubs the win in JBL's nose. Cena says he's has something for JBL, and JBL drives out to the stage. He then limps into the ring. JBL says he doesn't make excuses. Sunday was the first time he failed, and calls Cena the better man. JBL then admits he's not sure if he can beat Cena. JBL warns Cena that he's going to burn himself out, and implode. And when he does JBL will be there to pick up the pieces. Cena tells JBL that he doesn't decide his legacy, the people do. Cena tells JBL he has something for his legacy, but he can forget it now. Cena says he's put together a tribute video, but since JBL came out on his high horse, he won't show it. JBL starts sucking up so Cena will show the video. The crowd wants it, so roll it. The tribute video quickly degrades into a repeating cycle of JBL saying "I quit." Cena says his legacy will be the as the most celebrated quitter in WWE history.
Match #2 - Big Show vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool w/ Matt Morgan
Show overpowers Carlito to start the match. A big boot takes out Carlito. Morgan grabs Show's leg. The ref sees the interference and sends Morgan to the back. Carlito begs for Morgan to stay, and ends up backing into Show. Carlito is lifted into the ring, and Show chops him in the corner. Carlito counters a chokeslam with an eye rake, and then gets Show hung up on the ropes. Carlito hits a missile drop kick, and kicks Show in the head. The giant recovers quickly, and finishes Carlito off with a chokeslam.
Winner via pin fall: Big Show
Morgan hits the ring after the match, and attacks show. He whips him into the steel steps on the outside, and then F-5's him on the announce table.
Part of the Vince McMahon-Eric Bischoff-Paul Heyman chat is shown from Monday. We see Kurt Angle walking away from a monitor is disgust as he heads to the ring. I don't think he's upset over the revisionist history. Although, it is said that the winners write the history books, so ...
Match #3 - Kurt Angle Invitational
Before his match, Angle says it's a dark time for him. He is ashamed that he lost to Booker T. Angle then runs down ECW. He isn't happy with Vince's decision to bring it back. He says he was at a live event and walked out in disgust. Angle says he will lead a group of volunteers to "ruin" the show. Angle the calls out Tazz, saying he's going to bounce around his buddies, like Paul Heyman bounces cheques. Tazz stares Angle down, but does nothing. The Olympic champ tells his opponent this is going to hurt. Bob barely gets his name out, when Angle attacks. The crowd chants for Tazz, but he stays at his post. Angle dispatches his opponent with the Angle slam and then the ankle lock.
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
After the match, Angle runs his mouth some more. He wants to get the Battle Royal started, and it starts.
Match #4 - Winner's Choice Battle Royal
Heidenreich hits the ring first, followed by Carlito and Matt Morgan. Then we go to commercial; hopefully everyone will be in the ring by then. Nope, Rey Mysterio's music hits, and Eddie Guerrero attacks him with a chair before he gets to the ring. Rey is escorted to the back for medical attention, and the Battle Royal starts. Eddie Guerrero leaves the ring, but not over the top rope. Paul London is eliminated first. Angle then tosses Funaki out. Kidman takes out Mercury. Matt Morgan helps Carlito stay in, as Booker T eliminates Akio. Heidenreich takes out Mark Jindrak on his own, as we go to another commercial. During the commercial Nitro was eliminated, and Eddie is still outside the ring. Heidenreich is back body dropped over the top rope by Angle. Chavo Guerrero is send to the outside by Scotty II Hotty. Angle then takes out Charlie Haas. Morgan eliminates Shannon Moore and Nunzio, but Carlito is tossed out as he watches his bodyguard. Guerrero finally hits the ring, and eliminates Hardcore Holly with help from Angle. Rey Rey hits the ring, and goes after Eddie. Guerrero tosses Eddie onto the apron, thinking he is gone. Eddie turns around and walks into a suplex from Mysterio that eliminates Eddie. Mysterio then hits a seated senton, and pounds on Eddie until the refs break them up. Mysterio rolls back into the ring, as Eddie walks to the back. JBL's cabinet teams with Angle to beat on Mysterio and Booker T. Book catches fire, taking out all the entire cabinet is succession, only to be eliminated by Kurt Angle. Mysterio is left alone with the Olympic champ. Mysterio punches Angle into the corner, and then chokes him on the turnbuckle. Angle recovers and throws Rey Rey across the ring. Mysterio is tossed over the ropes, but hangs onto the bottom rope. Angle hits a vertical suplex, and then an uppercut. Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip, an drop kick Angle in the face. Angle goes over the top rope, but lands on the apron. Mysterio misses a 619, and Angle slaps on the ankle lock. Angle hangs Mysterio on the top rope, with the ankle lock on. Mysterio reverse it, and almost eliminates Angle. Both men fight on the apron. Angle sets up a vertical suplex, but Rey lands in the ring. Mysterio shoulders Angle in the abs, but cannot get him to fall off the apron. Angle picks Mysterio up on his shoulder to tosses him out of the ring, Rey counters, but Angle catches himself on the apron. Angle climbs to the second rope, but still hands on after an attack from Rey. Angle catches Rey, and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Angle stalks Rey Rey, but Mysterio drop him into the ropes with a toehold. Rey hits the 619, but Angle counters the West Coast Pop with a low blow. Angle then finally tosses Rey out of the ring.
Winner via elimination: Kurt Angle
After the match, Angle chooses his opponent. It's
not Cena, the obvious choice; Angle picks Sharmell.
That's right, Sharmell.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
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