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Smackdown: Angle goes low to win
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Coming from the home of beer and bratwursts,
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I certainly hope this isn't the
"wurst" episode ever. (Yea, it's gonna be that kind of
report.)
The show kicks off with still photos from the main
event at Judgment Day. And is Michael Cole selling the
PPV hard. He calls it the best ever in Smackdown
history. I wouldn't know, I didn't see. (And not
because I was seeing Star Wars, again.)
Carlito's Cabana
Carlito has his new boy, Matt Morgan, in tow. CCC
gloats about his win over Big Show, introducing his
guest, Carlito. That's right, he's going to interview
himself. Carlito says he couldn't have done it without
Matt. Carlito decides not to talk to Morgan. CCC says
he could beast Show any day with Morgan behind him.
General Manager Teddy Long crashes the cabana. Long
calls out Carlito on Morgan's interference on Sunday,
and calls out his stuttering problem. Long then
addresses the draft situation, saying anyone could be
drafted to RAW. Long announces a Battle Royal, and the
winner gets his choice of opponent next week. Carlito
says he's in, and he'll face Cena after he wins. Long
then informs Carlito he'll face Big Show, tonight.
Josh Matthews asks Rey Mysterio if he's physically
ready for tonight's Battle Royal. Rey Rey says Eddie
should have killed him, because he's coming for him.
Match #1 - MNM vs. Hardcore Holly and Charlie
Haas
Hardcore and Mercury face off, and Nitro hits
Holly from behind. Hardcore recovers quickly, and hits
a suplex. Mercury chops Holly in the corner. Holly
whips Mercury into the corner, and receives several
chops. Nitro is the dragged into the ring. Haas tags
in and scores a near fall with an Oklahoma roll. Nitro
fights back with a series of kicks. Nitro recovers,
but Haas counters a high-risk move with a standing
dropkick. After the commercial, Haas nails a sunset
flip, but Mercury is able to tag in Nitro. Haas
explodes with a clothesline. Nitro and Mercury double
team Haas. The champs cut Haas off from Holly. Melina
slaps Haas, and Hardcore charges the champs' corner,
and all hell breaks loose. Haas hits a belly-to-belly,
and Hardcore gets the hot tag. Nitro is clotheslined
outside the ring, and then hits a flying elbow that
takes out Mercury and the ref. Holly hits the Alabama
Slam, but cannot get the pin. Nitro slips back in the
ring, and nails Hardcore with the chair. The ref sees
it, and the champs are disqualified.
Winner via DQ: Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas.
Steve Romero asks Booker T and Sharmell about the
match against Kurt Angle. Booker says he's proud of
his wife. Sharmell just wants him to win this Battle
Royal and then go on to with the WWE Title.
THE CHAMP IS HERE! Cena walks to the ring amid
thunderous applause. Cena dedicates the win at
Judgment Day to those that never gave up on him. Cena
then rubs the win in JBL's nose. Cena says he's has
something for JBL, and JBL drives out to the stage. He
then limps into the ring. JBL says he doesn't make
excuses. Sunday was the first time he failed, and
calls Cena the better man. JBL then admits he's not
sure if he can beat Cena. JBL warns Cena that he's
going to burn himself out, and implode. And when he
does JBL will be there to pick up the pieces. Cena
tells JBL that he doesn't decide his legacy, the
people do. Cena tells JBL he has something for his
legacy, but he can forget it now. Cena says he's put
together a tribute video, but since JBL came out on
his high horse, he won't show it. JBL starts sucking
up so Cena will show the video. The crowd wants it, so
roll it. The tribute video quickly degrades into a
repeating cycle of JBL saying "I quit." Cena says his
legacy will be the as the most celebrated quitter in
WWE history.
Match #2 - Big Show vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool
w/ Matt Morgan
Show overpowers Carlito to start the match. A big
boot takes out Carlito. Morgan grabs Show's leg. The
ref sees the interference and sends Morgan to the
back. Carlito begs for Morgan to stay, and ends up
backing into Show. Carlito is lifted into the ring,
and Show chops him in the corner. Carlito counters a
chokeslam with an eye rake, and then gets Show hung up
on the ropes. Carlito hits a missile drop kick, and
kicks Show in the head. The giant recovers quickly,
and finishes Carlito off with a chokeslam.
Winner via pin fall: Big Show
Morgan hits the ring after the match, and attacks
show. He whips him into the steel steps on the
outside, and then F-5's him on the announce table.
Part of the Vince McMahon-Eric Bischoff-Paul
Heyman chat is shown from Monday. We see Kurt Angle walking
away from a monitor is disgust as he heads to the
ring. I don't think he's upset over the revisionist
history. Although, it is said that the winners write
the history books, so ...
Match #3 - Kurt Angle Invitational
Before his match, Angle says it's a dark time for
him. He is ashamed that he lost to Booker T. Angle
then runs down ECW. He isn't happy with Vince's
decision to bring it back. He says he was at a live
event and walked out in disgust. Angle says he will
lead a group of volunteers to "ruin" the show. Angle
the calls out Tazz, saying he's going to bounce around
his buddies, like Paul Heyman bounces cheques. Tazz
stares Angle down, but does nothing. The Olympic champ
tells his opponent this is going to hurt. Bob barely
gets his name out, when Angle attacks. The crowd
chants for Tazz, but he stays at his post. Angle
dispatches his opponent with the Angle slam and then
the ankle lock.
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
After the match, Angle runs his mouth some more.
He wants to get the Battle Royal started, and it
starts.
Match #4 - Winner's Choice Battle Royal
Heidenreich hits the ring first, followed by
Carlito and Matt Morgan. Then we go to commercial;
hopefully everyone will be in the ring by then. Nope,
Rey Mysterio's music hits, and Eddie Guerrero attacks
him with a chair before he gets to the ring. Rey is
escorted to the back for medical attention, and the
Battle Royal starts. Eddie Guerrero leaves the ring,
but not over the top rope. Paul London is eliminated
first. Angle then tosses Funaki out. Kidman takes out
Mercury. Matt Morgan helps Carlito stay in, as Booker
T eliminates Akio. Heidenreich takes out Mark Jindrak
on his own, as we go to another commercial. During the
commercial Nitro was eliminated, and Eddie is still
outside the ring. Heidenreich is back body dropped
over the top rope by Angle. Chavo Guerrero is send to
the outside by Scotty II Hotty. Angle then takes out
Charlie Haas. Morgan eliminates Shannon Moore and
Nunzio, but Carlito is tossed out as he watches his
bodyguard. Guerrero finally hits the ring, and
eliminates Hardcore Holly with help from Angle. Rey
Rey hits the ring, and goes after Eddie. Guerrero
tosses Eddie onto the apron, thinking he is gone.
Eddie turns around and walks into a suplex from
Mysterio that eliminates Eddie. Mysterio then hits a
seated senton, and pounds on Eddie until the refs
break them up. Mysterio rolls back into the ring, as
Eddie walks to the back. JBL's cabinet teams with
Angle to beat on Mysterio and Booker T. Book catches
fire, taking out all the entire cabinet is succession,
only to be eliminated by Kurt Angle. Mysterio is left
alone with the Olympic champ. Mysterio punches Angle
into the corner, and then chokes him on the
turnbuckle. Angle recovers and throws Rey Rey across
the ring. Mysterio is tossed over the ropes, but hangs
onto the bottom rope. Angle hits a vertical suplex,
and then an uppercut. Mysterio rolls through a sunset
flip, an drop kick Angle in the face. Angle goes over
the top rope, but lands on the apron. Mysterio misses
a 619, and Angle slaps on the ankle lock. Angle hangs
Mysterio on the top rope, with the ankle lock on.
Mysterio reverse it, and almost eliminates Angle. Both
men fight on the apron. Angle sets up a vertical
suplex, but Rey lands in the ring. Mysterio shoulders
Angle in the abs, but cannot get him to fall off the
apron. Angle picks Mysterio up on his shoulder to
tosses him out of the ring, Rey counters, but Angle
catches himself on the apron. Angle climbs to the
second rope, but still hands on after an attack from
Rey. Angle catches Rey, and hits a belly-to-belly
suplex. Angle stalks Rey Rey, but Mysterio drop him
into the ropes with a toehold. Rey hits the 619, but
Angle counters the West Coast Pop with a low blow.
Angle then finally tosses Rey out of the ring.
Winner via elimination: Kurt Angle
After the match, Angle chooses his opponent. It's
not Cena, the obvious choice; Angle picks Sharmell.
That's right, Sharmell.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale has signed up to play the
WWE Fantasy game as the SLAM! Squad. Sign up by June
13th to challenge him (Hey, it's free) or email him at
Dplummer627@yahoo.com.
