May 20, 2005
Smackdown: No quit in Angle-Booker ... sigh
By DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
I've comes to terms with another WWE Pay-Per-View airing this Sunday, but I haven't come to terms with shelling 30 bucks out to see it. What does it say when only three days before the event, only three matches are on the card?
Oh good, a recap of Kurt Angle terrorizing Sharmell kicks off the show. There's goes all the therapy I went through trying to forget this angle.
Carlito kicks off the show from Sioux City, Iowa, so things are looking up.
Carlito says Big Show shouldn't have refused his offer last week, but what happened was cool. Carlito says Show has challenged him to a match at Judgment Day. CCC says that's okay, because he has extended his offer to someone cooler, Matt Morgan. Carlito asks Morgan to be his backup, and Morgan eventually spits out a yes. Big Show crashes the cabana. Morgan attacks, but is fought off by Show, who catches Carlito. Show sets up a chokeslam, only to get a steel chair in the back from Morgan.
JBL has created an ad to get people not to buy Cena's new CD. Hmmm... Micheal Cole says it has sold out. Is that why I couldn't find it at Best Buy? I sure hope so.
Match #1 - Scotty II Hotty vs. JBL
A boot to the face sends Scotty to the mat early. JBL stomps on Scotty in the corner, and follows with a swinging neck breaker. Scotty fights back, but JBL shoots off the ropes, and hit a massive clothesline. JBL starts punching Scotty in the corner. The ref calls for JBL to stop, and when the former champs refuses, the ref disqualifies him.
Winner via DQ: Scotty II Hotty
After the bell, JBL says he doesn't care about the loss, he wants to hear Scotty say "I quit." Scotty refuses, and brutalizes him outside the ring. JBL whips Scotty with a belt. JBL chokes him with the belt, until Scotty finally says those magic words.
Booker T tells Teddy Long he wants Angle, tonight. Long says he can't do that because he has banned Angle from the arena. Instead, Booker will take on Mark Jindrak. Booker wants answers, but all Teddy Long can do is apologize. He also says Angle will make an apology via satellite, tonight, or he will be suspended. How about the writers apologize to us for this storyline?
Mark Jindrak tells Sharmell not to take what happened last week personally. He says Angle has always had a fetish for guttersl*ts. Oh, this week it's bleeped. Booker comes along, and start pummeling Jindrak for calling his wife a sl*t. Booker and Jindrak fight from the back, into the crowd, and eventually getting to the ring.
Match #2 - Booker T vs. Mark Jindrak
Booker busts open Jindrak, who is now donning the proverbial "crimson mask." Jindrak chokes Book in the corner with his boot, and then against the middle turnbuckle. Booker mounts a comeback, but a rake to the eyes ends that. A kick to the mid-section is followed by a suplex. Jindrak ducks out of the way of a scissors kick, but runs right into a Book End. Jindrak gets up, only to be scissors kicked. Booker T covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Booker T
JBL is bragging to the Bashams how he destroyed Scotty II Hotty. He says he'll be there for the Bashams match against Cena. Teddy Long stops by and says if JBL gets involved he'll hit him where it hurts, in the wallet. Dolla-dolla-bill, y'all!
Eddie Guerrero, with Rey's mask still in hand, heads to the ring. Eddie doesn't say a word. He paces the ring, dropping the mask, and rubbing it out like a cigarette. Eddie then leaves the ring, never saying a word.
Match #3 - Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich
Heidenreich says he has one thing to do before the match, and that's to make a new friend. Heidenreich goes searching, until Jordan cuts him off, saying nobody likes him. Jordan hits a cheap shot, and then whips Heidenreich into the corner, and then clotheslines him. A back elbow sends Heidenreich to the mat. Heidenreich fight back, a scoop slam almost gets the pin. A big boot sends the U.S. champ down. Jordan clotheslines Heidenreich off the apron. Jordan goes for a bulldog, but Heidenreich counters and gets the pin.
Winner via pin fall: Heidenreich
Hey, let's show the Kurt Angle interview from last week. That'll be a great idea. In fact, let's show Angle busting into Sharmell's locker room again. It's the feel good story of the summer.
Match #4 - Mercury w/ Nitro and Melina vs. Hardcore Holly w/ Charlie Haas
Mercury ducks a clothesline, but Holly gets him in the corner, and chops him across the chest. Mercury fights back, and Holly responds with more chops. Holly runs into a boot in the corner. Mercury goes top rope, only to be crotched on the top turnbuckle. Holly goes up top, and hits a superplex from the top rope. Holly hits a clothesline, and then a back body drop. Holly follows with a full nelson driver. Melina climbs on the apron, and Holly takes advantage with a low blow. Holly then hangs Mercury on the top rope, and finishes him off with the Alabama Slam.
Winner via pin fall: Hardcore Holly
Kurt Angle is 'live' via satellite from the WWE studios. Angle says he's been ordered to issue an apology or be suspended. Angle says last week was a mistake. Angle says he wanted revenge against Booker T for stopping his run to the title. Angle says he is truly sorry. Booker T isn't buying it. Angle then talks about what he wants. He wants Sharmell to admit that she is a gutter sl*t. Angel says he has proof. He says they kissed, and she liked it. Angle says Sharmell wanted more. Angle says Sharmell touched him, if you catch my drift. The Olympic Champ tells Booker he's going to break his ankle. Booker gets so upset he kicks the TV. I know how he feels.
Josh Matthews interviews Cena before his match. Cena is pursuing a copy of JBL's book, and offers a reading. Cena says JBL has flipped religious on him. Matthews makes a fool of himself, and Cena takes the mike. Cena tells JBL that he should remind the fans how stopped him. Cena says a lot of people never quit on him, so he won't quit on them. Cena says he's sending the Bashams back to tell JBL the champ is here.
Match #5 - John Cena vs. The Bashams w. JBL - Handicap Match
Cena and Doug start out by locking up. Cena pushes his way out of the corner. Cena get ahead lock on Doug, and kicks at Danny. Danny tags in, and Cena escapes the ring. Cena kicks Danny into the corner, and then knocks Doug off the apron. Danny recovers and hits a DDT. Doug tags in, and kicks Cena into the corner, and Doug chokes him. Cena fights back, and Danny hits a thumb to the eye. Doug locks in a chokehold, and JBL start taunting him. Doug then hits a scoop slam. Every time Cena is placed in a submission, JBL taunts him. Cena fights out of the heel's corner again. JBL keeps running his mouth, and Cena counters a double team move. Cena starts to clean house. Doug is tossed from the ring, and Danny gets the five-knuckle shuffle. Cena hits the F-U for the win, and JBL hits the ring. Both men stare each other down as the show comes to an end.
Winner via pin fall: John Cena
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale will not be watching
Judgment Day, but will instead funnel all him money to
LucasFilm Ltd by going to see Revenge of the Sith,