I've comes to terms with another WWE Pay-Per-View
airing this Sunday, but I haven't come to terms with
shelling 30 bucks out to see it. What does it say when
only three days before the event, only three matches
are on the card?
Oh good, a recap of Kurt Angle terrorizing Sharmell
kicks off the show. There's goes all the therapy I
went through trying to forget this angle.
Carlito kicks off the show from Sioux City, Iowa,
so things are looking up.
Carlito's Cabana
Carlito says Big Show shouldn't have refused his offer
last week, but what happened was cool. Carlito says
Show has challenged him to a match at Judgment Day.
CCC says that's okay, because he has extended his
offer to someone cooler, Matt Morgan. Carlito asks
Morgan to be his backup, and Morgan eventually spits
out a yes. Big Show crashes the cabana. Morgan
attacks, but is fought off by Show, who catches
Carlito. Show sets up a chokeslam, only to get a steel
chair in the back from Morgan.
JBL has created an ad to get people not to buy
Cena's new CD. Hmmm... Micheal Cole says it has sold
out. Is that why I couldn't find it at Best Buy? I
sure hope so.
Match #1 - Scotty II Hotty vs. JBL
A boot to the face sends Scotty to the mat early.
JBL stomps on Scotty in the corner, and follows with a
swinging neck breaker. Scotty fights back, but JBL
shoots off the ropes, and hit a massive clothesline.
JBL starts punching Scotty in the corner. The ref
calls for JBL to stop, and when the former champs
refuses, the ref disqualifies him.
Winner via DQ: Scotty II Hotty
After the bell, JBL says he doesn't care about the
loss, he wants to hear Scotty say "I quit." Scotty
refuses, and brutalizes him outside the ring. JBL
whips Scotty with a belt. JBL chokes him with the
belt, until Scotty finally says those magic words.
Booker T tells Teddy Long he wants Angle, tonight.
Long says he can't do that because he has banned Angle
from the arena. Instead, Booker will take on Mark
Jindrak. Booker wants answers, but all Teddy Long can
do is apologize. He also says Angle will make an
apology via satellite, tonight, or he will be
suspended. How about the writers apologize to us for
this storyline?
Mark Jindrak tells Sharmell not to take what
happened last week personally. He says Angle has
always had a fetish for guttersl*ts. Oh, this week
it's bleeped. Booker comes along, and start pummeling
Jindrak for calling his wife a sl*t. Booker and
Jindrak fight from the back, into the crowd, and
eventually getting to the ring.
Match #2 - Booker T vs. Mark Jindrak
Booker busts open Jindrak, who is now donning the
proverbial "crimson mask." Jindrak chokes Book in the
corner with his boot, and then against the middle
turnbuckle. Booker mounts a comeback, but a rake to
the eyes ends that. A kick to the mid-section is
followed by a suplex. Jindrak ducks out of the way of
a scissors kick, but runs right into a Book End.
Jindrak gets up, only to be scissors kicked. Booker T
covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Booker T
JBL is bragging to the Bashams how he destroyed
Scotty II Hotty. He says he'll be there for the
Bashams match against Cena. Teddy Long stops by and
says if JBL gets involved he'll hit him where it
hurts, in the wallet. Dolla-dolla-bill, y'all!
Eddie Guerrero, with Rey's mask still in hand,
heads to the ring. Eddie doesn't say a word. He paces
the ring, dropping the mask, and rubbing it out like a
cigarette. Eddie then leaves the ring, never saying a
word.
Match #3 - Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich
Heidenreich says he has one thing to do before the
match, and that's to make a new friend. Heidenreich
goes searching, until Jordan cuts him off, saying
nobody likes him. Jordan hits a cheap shot, and then
whips Heidenreich into the corner, and then
clotheslines him. A back elbow sends Heidenreich to
the mat. Heidenreich fight back, a scoop slam almost
gets the pin. A big boot sends the U.S. champ down.
Jordan clotheslines Heidenreich off the apron. Jordan
goes for a bulldog, but Heidenreich counters and gets
the pin.
Winner via pin fall: Heidenreich
Hey, let's show the Kurt Angle interview from last
week. That'll be a great idea. In fact, let's show
Angle busting into Sharmell's locker room again. It's
the feel good story of the summer.
Match #4 - Mercury w/ Nitro and Melina vs.
Hardcore Holly w/ Charlie Haas
Mercury ducks a clothesline, but Holly gets him in
the corner, and chops him across the chest. Mercury
fights back, and Holly responds with more chops. Holly
runs into a boot in the corner. Mercury goes top rope,
only to be crotched on the top turnbuckle. Holly goes
up top, and hits a superplex from the top rope. Holly
hits a clothesline, and then a back body drop. Holly
follows with a full nelson driver. Melina climbs on
the apron, and Holly takes advantage with a low blow.
Holly then hangs Mercury on the top rope, and finishes
him off with the Alabama Slam.
Winner via pin fall: Hardcore Holly
Kurt Angle is 'live' via satellite from the WWE
studios. Angle says he's been ordered to issue an
apology or be suspended. Angle says last week was a
mistake. Angle says he wanted revenge against Booker T
for stopping his run to the title. Angle says he is
truly sorry. Booker T isn't buying it. Angle then
talks about what he wants. He wants Sharmell to admit
that she is a gutter sl*t. Angel says he has proof. He
says they kissed, and she liked it. Angle says
Sharmell wanted more. Angle says Sharmell touched him,
if you catch my drift. The Olympic Champ tells Booker
he's going to break his ankle. Booker gets so upset he
kicks the TV. I know how he feels.
Josh Matthews interviews Cena before his match.
Cena is pursuing a copy of JBL's book, and offers a
reading. Cena says JBL has flipped religious on him.
Matthews makes a fool of himself, and Cena takes the
mike. Cena tells JBL that he should remind the fans
how stopped him. Cena says a lot of people never quit
on him, so he won't quit on them. Cena says he's
sending the Bashams back to tell JBL the champ is
here.
Match #5 - John Cena vs. The Bashams w. JBL -
Handicap Match
Cena and Doug start out by locking up. Cena pushes
his way out of the corner. Cena get ahead lock on
Doug, and kicks at Danny. Danny tags in, and Cena
escapes the ring. Cena kicks Danny into the corner,
and then knocks Doug off the apron. Danny recovers and
hits a DDT. Doug tags in, and kicks Cena into the
corner, and Doug chokes him. Cena fights back, and
Danny hits a thumb to the eye. Doug locks in a
chokehold, and JBL start taunting him. Doug then hits
a scoop slam. Every time Cena is placed in a
submission, JBL taunts him. Cena fights out of the
heel's corner again. JBL keeps running his mouth, and
Cena counters a double team move. Cena starts to clean
house. Doug is tossed from the ring, and Danny gets
the five-knuckle shuffle. Cena hits the F-U for the
win, and JBL hits the ring. Both men stare each other
down as the show comes to an end.
Winner via pin fall: John Cena
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale will not be watching
Judgment Day, but will instead funnel all him money to
LucasFilm Ltd by going to see Revenge of the Sith,
again.
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