April 15, 2005
TNA Impact: Shills all around
By CHRIS SOKOL -- SLAM! Wrestling
This week on TNA Impact, 6-Pac and DDP team up to face "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown and The Outlaw in the main event. After a few horrible Impacts in a row, TNA hopes to rebound in a big way this week. Let's see what they can do, as we draw nearer to TNA Lockdown!
We kick this week's Impact off with a recap of last week's events. Time for a math lesson: eight cage matches = stupid.
Match One- Michael Shane, Kid Kash, and Lance Hoyt vs. Chris Sabin, Sonny Siaki, and Apollo
I shudder when I think of Hoyt vs. Apollo in a cage. Apollo can barely wrestle a normal match, so what makes TNA think he can wrestle inside of a cage on PPV?
Shane bails to the floor before anything can really get started, then Kash comes in and is taken out by Sabin and Siaki. Shane gets the tag, and Siaki goes to town on him. Thanks to some triple teaming, Siaki is put on the defensive as we head into a commercial break.
We come back to big Lance Hoyt missing a huge moonsault on Siaki. He got some nice height. The match then denegrates into a pier-six brawl. A powerbomb from Hoyt and a Frog Splash from Kash on Siaki gives them the win.
Winners Via Pinfall- Michael Shane, Kid Kash, and Lance Hoyt
That lawyer, Daggard comes out with Chris Candido who is a wheel chair, wearing a neckbrace and bandages. Daggard informs Nash that he is to be nowhere near the arena or he is in trouble with the law.
Backstage Trinity is talking up Michael Shane, saying that the X-Division Belt would look so good around his waist. Traci comes in and complains that Trinity is supposed to be handing out Dusty Rhodes' new book, which in a shameless shill, is said to have come out today. Basic promo to get Michael Shane over without Kazarian, while at the same time putting Rhodes' book over even more.
Match Two- Ron Killings and BG James vs A-1 and Petey Williams w/ Coach Scott D'Amore
While BG James is doing his opening skit, he and Killings are attacked from behind and sent to the mat. The onslaught escalates from there, with A-1 beating the daylights out of Killings. If you haven't noticed what Mike Tenay and Don West do, they don't comment on the matches; instead, they hype the PPV non-stop. It's getting to be overkill. I can understand wanting to put a PPV over, but you have to call the matches.
Anyway, all four men hit the ring and after a brief scuffle, James is able to top A-1 and pick up the pinfall.
Winners Via Pinfall- Ron Killings and BG James
Elix Skipper is shown at the commentators table with Tenay and West, and if you haven't guessed already, Dusty Rhodes' book is placed front and center.
Match Three- "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels vs Mikey Batts
Christopher Daniels is one of my favorite TNA stars. He has a great mystique about his character that draws people to him.
Daniels dominates Batts until he is knocked into the referee. At this point, the picture on my TV froze and by the time it came back, Daniels was the winner, and Skipper was raising Mikey Batts hand. By hook or by crook, Daniels picks this one up and gains more momentum going into Lockdown.
Winner- "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels
Next up, Three Live Kru are backstage. Konnan and BG James get into a little discussion about what The Outlaw has been saying to James. James tells him there is nothing to worry about, but Konnan feels otherwise and doesn't want anyone coming out to the ring with him. Killings and James stand in disbelief as Konnan walks away.
Match Four- Konnan vs "Showtime" Eric Young w/ Coach Scott D'Amore
Konnan sends Young to the floor, but Team Canada cheats a little to end his offensive flurry. With the ref distracted, D'Amore proceeds to choke Konnan over the middle rope. After a series of sloppy pinfall attempts, Konnan hits the Alabama Slam, followed by a powerbomb for the one...two...three.
Winner Via Pinfall- Konnan
Shane Douglas is backstage with AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy. Both men pump up their matches at Lockdown. These will probably be two of the better matches on the Lockdown card. It is announced that next week on Impact, Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles will square off against Raven and Abyss. Raven comes in and cracks Hardy over the head with a trash can. I am surprised he didn't hit him with Dusty Rhodes' book. Come on Raven, wheres your team spirit?
Jeff Jarrett joins Tenay and West for commentary, in the process knocking Rhodes' book off the table. Kevin Nash comes out, but security, Daggard and Shane Douglas are quick to cut him off. Nash spits on Daggard before being removed from the arena.
Match Five- The Outlaw and "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown vs Diamond Dallas Page and 6-Pac
I guess if you use a number instead of "Syxx" you're okay. Anyhow, The Outlaw and Monty Brown completely deny 6-Pac any offense whatsoever. By the way, "The Alpha Rock" grew sideburns. I am telling you, Brown has been watching those Rocky Miavia tapes, but hey, his character is getting better, can't argue with success. Like Trish Stratus, he's a wrestler who makes a better heel than a face.
We come back from a commercial break, and The Outlaw is taking it to DDP, who finds a himself flat on his back. DDP and Monty Brown collide, and both men get the hot tags in. 6-Pac sends The Outlaw down and hits the X-Factor, but Monty Brown breaks the up the three count. Diamond Cutter on Brown follows while 6-Pac hits the Bronco Buster on The Outlaw. Jarrett then runs in and he hits Waltman in the head with the guitar, Outlaw with the cover, one...two...it's over.
Winners Via Pinfall- The Outlaw and "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown
Post match, a huge brawl ensues, and when it spills outside Nash re-appears and joins the fight, as Impact comes to a close.
What an Impact this week. The matches weren't that bad and there was decent production, but the hyping of everything is getting a little tiring. I can understand once in a while mentioning it in the broadcast, but around every turn something was being shoved down our throats. Work a little more on making sensisble storylines, and spend less time shamelessy promoting your products.
Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and requests that you pick up a copy of Dusty Rhodes' at the SLAM! Wrestling store.