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Smackdown: We're almost there
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? If you kids don't be quiet I'm gonna turn this car around, and there'll be no Wrestlemania for anyone! (And that's the last Road to Wrestlemania joke until next year.)

WWE makes the last stop in Houston, Texas, and with Tazz on family leave, Jerry "The King" Lawler, is filling the seat next to Michael Cole. Eddie Guerrero doesn't waste any time kicking the show off, as he drives out for his match with Danny Basham.

Match #1 - Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham w/ Doug Basham

Eddie and Danny lock up in the center of the ring. Both men separate, and Danny calls for a test of strength, and Eddie gives him a thumb to the eye. Danny goes to work on the abs of Guerrero, and then whips Latino Heat into the corner, but Eddie ducks out of the way of a corner splash. After a standing drop kick, Eddie mounts Danny in the corner, and this him with a series of punches. Eddie follows up with the 'Three Amigos'. Doug pulls Eddie from the ring and attacks him. Rey Mysterio tries to make the save, but accidently hits Eddie. Danny is able to roll up Eddie, and get the pin.

Winner via pin fall: Danny Basham

After the match, Eddie and Rey argue, but settle down and head to the locker room together.

General Manager, Teddy Long, tells JBL he lost control last week. The Champ says he didn't, and if he did Cena would not be going to Wrestlemania.

Match #2 - Cruiserweight Battle Royal - Cruiserweight Title Match

Chavo Guerrero is the first man out, as the entire field worked to throw him out. Funaki is the next to hit the floor, and Kidman then throws out Nunzio. Scotty II Hotty hits the worm on Spike Dudley, and then kicks him over the top rope. Scotty saves himself on the apron, only to be kicked off by Akio. Kidman and Akio double team London, but cannot get him to the floor. London is then taken down with a double elbow. London saves himself again by grabbing the ropes. London takes down Kidman and Akio with a dual dropkick. Akio is eliminated as Kidman is knocked into him. London is tossed over the ropes, but skins the cat, and tosses Kidman out of the ring with a leg scissors to win the Battle Royal.

Winner and new Cruiserweight Champion: Paul London

Akebono is shown arriving for tonight's weigh in. >From the looks of it, he doesn't have to worry about making weight.

Carlito pays Teddy a visit, sans arm sling. CCC tries to kiss up, but he GM will have none of it. Carlito tells Teddy that he is healthy, and wants to wrestle. Long says he hasn't been cleared, but CCC says the doctor should have sent him a note. Carlito says the fans want to see him wrestle. Teddy won't stand in the way of the fans, so Carlito gets a match tonight, against, John Cena. Carlito doesn't seems real excited.

Eddie tracks down Rey Rey to make sure he didn't cost him that match on purpose. Eddie says he's just frustrated, he wishes that they could face both Bashams or Rey could take on Doug or he could face Danny again. Rey says he'll ask for a match against Doug, and Eddie says that he will have his back.

Match #3 - Luther Reigns vs. Booker T

Booker T is with his wife before the match, and she tells him the Reigns said he was going to beat him down. This gets Booker all fired up to go out to the ring. Booker and Luther dance around, until Reigns takes control with clubbing blows. Booker fights back with knife-edge chops, and then a kick to the sternum. Booker gets himself caught up on the ropes, after Reigns ducked the axe kick. Reigns then knocks Booker off the apron onto the floor. Back in the ring, a clothesline knocks Booker to the mat. Reigns goes for a spinning neck breaker, but Booker counters. A high elbow takes down Luther, as Booker shoots of the ropes. Booker follows with a spine buster, and then pulls off a spin-a-rooni. Booker catches Reigns with a scissors kick, and covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Booker T

Teddy Long talks shop with one of the production guys, and then is surprised in his office by "Cowboy" Bob Orton. The senior Orton is here to talk to the Undertaker about his match with his son. Teddy says talking to 'Taker isn't a good idea. (Ya think!) Long says he'll allow it, and the ring is his right now.

Orton says he is proud of being inducted into the Hall of Fame, and that he has molded Randy into one of the greatest wrestlers today. Orton asks 'Taker to come to the ring to hear him out. The Dead Man comes to the ring, and Orton says he doesn't want any trouble, just hear him out. Dad apologizes for Randy's actions. Orton asks Undertake to put the beast back to sleep. Undertaker says that one slap sealed Randy's fate, and he will "rest in peace." The cowboy gets on his knees and bags for mercy for Randy. The Undertaker turns to leave, but Orton grabs his arm. When Undertaker turns back, Randy Orton is there with an RKO. Both Orton leave the ring, both proud of their handiwork. Undertaker tries to get up, but can't.

Match #4 - Rey Mysterio w/ Eddie Guerrero vs. Doug Basham w/ Danny Basham

Doug gains an early advantage by stomping on Rey and then locking in a abominable stretch. Rey breaks free of the hold, and hits a head scissors. Rey hits a flying body press off the rope, and the follows with a seated senton. Doug is then drop kicked into the ropes and Rey hits the 619. Danny tries to interfere, but when Eddie chases after Danny, he hits the rope, and accidentally knocks Rey off the turnbuckle. Doug covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Doug Basham

Eddie and Rey have words in the ring, again. Both men make up, and hug in the ring.

Josh Matthews asks Kurt Angle if his strategy has changed since he failed to take out HBK on RAW. Angle offers to show Matthews his strategy, and decks him. Angle pounds on Matthews, and drags him to the ring. Angle continues to assault Matthews. Matthews musters the strength to fight back, but Angle responds with the Olympic Slam. The Olympic Champ proceeds to slap on the ankle lock, and holds it forever. Angle then tells Michaels that this is what he can expect at Wrestlemania. Angle then has a bio piece shown, telling why he is bigger and better.

Michael Cole calls Big Show and Akebono to the ring for the official Wrestlemania Weigh In. Big Show steps on the scale first, and weighs in at 493 pounds. Akebono tops the 500 mark at 504 pounds. Show is amazed that Akebono outweighs him, but Show says he is still bigger then him. (It's called leverage Show, size matters not; take a physics class.) Akebono tells Show that he is honored that he will give him his first sumo match in WWE, so tonight he will be in his first wrestling match.

Match #5 - Akebono vs. Eddie Vegas

Eddie is caught by Akebono in mid air. After a turnbuckle avalanche, Vegas is out. Akebono pins him in the middle of the ring.

Winner via pinfall: Akebono

Match #6 - John Cena vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool

Carlito starts by using the ref as a shield. Cena and CCC lock up, and Carlito calls for Cena to back off in the corner. Carlito runs around the ring, and attacks Cena as he slides back into the ring. Cena smashes Carlito off the turnbuckle. CCC turns the table, pounding on Cena in the corner, but Cena counters with a clothesline. Carlito is banged off the turnbuckle, and then hit by a shoulder block. Cena starts pumping up his shoes, when JBL interrupts with four officers. JBL says they have a warrant for his arrest for vandalism. The officers get the cuffs on him, and JBL takes the opportunity to get in a cheap shot. JBL says he'll see him in three days.

No Contest


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    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. If Nick Tylwalk's challenge to Muhammad Hassan is turned down, Dale will gladly step up to face the RAW reporter. Send your support to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.