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Smackdown: We're almost there
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
yet? If you kids don't be quiet I'm gonna turn this
car around, and there'll be no Wrestlemania for
anyone! (And that's the last Road to Wrestlemania
joke until next year.)
WWE makes the last stop in Houston, Texas, and
with Tazz on family leave, Jerry "The King" Lawler, is
filling the seat next to Michael Cole. Eddie Guerrero
doesn't waste any time kicking the show off, as he
drives out for his match with Danny Basham.
Match #1 - Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham w/
Doug Basham
Eddie and Danny lock up in the center of the ring.
Both men separate, and Danny calls for a test of
strength, and Eddie gives him a thumb to the eye.
Danny goes to work on the abs of Guerrero, and then
whips Latino Heat into the corner, but Eddie ducks out
of the way of a corner splash. After a standing drop
kick, Eddie mounts Danny in the corner, and this him
with a series of punches. Eddie follows up with the
'Three Amigos'. Doug pulls Eddie from the ring and
attacks him. Rey Mysterio tries to make the save, but
accidently hits Eddie. Danny is able to roll up Eddie,
and get the pin.
Winner via pin fall: Danny Basham
After the match, Eddie and Rey argue, but settle
down and head to the locker room together.
General Manager, Teddy Long, tells JBL he lost
control last week. The Champ says he didn't, and if he
did Cena would not be going to Wrestlemania.
Match #2 - Cruiserweight Battle Royal -
Cruiserweight Title Match
Chavo Guerrero is the first man out, as the entire
field worked to throw him out. Funaki is the next to
hit the floor, and Kidman then throws out Nunzio.
Scotty II Hotty hits the worm on Spike Dudley, and
then kicks him over the top rope. Scotty saves himself
on the apron, only to be kicked off by Akio. Kidman
and Akio double team London, but cannot get him to the
floor. London is then taken down with a double elbow.
London saves himself again by grabbing the ropes.
London takes down Kidman and Akio with a dual
dropkick. Akio is eliminated as Kidman is knocked into
him. London is tossed over the ropes, but skins the
cat, and tosses Kidman out of the ring with a leg
scissors to win the Battle Royal.
Winner and new Cruiserweight Champion: Paul
London
Akebono is shown arriving for tonight's weigh in.
>From the looks of it, he doesn't have to worry about
making weight.
Carlito pays Teddy a visit, sans arm sling. CCC
tries to kiss up, but he GM will have none of it.
Carlito tells Teddy that he is healthy, and wants to
wrestle. Long says he hasn't been cleared, but CCC
says the doctor should have sent him a note. Carlito
says the fans want to see him wrestle. Teddy won't
stand in the way of the fans, so Carlito gets a match
tonight, against, John Cena. Carlito doesn't seems
real excited.
Eddie tracks down Rey Rey to make sure he didn't
cost him that match on purpose. Eddie says he's just
frustrated, he wishes that they could face both
Bashams or Rey could take on Doug or he could face
Danny again. Rey says he'll ask for a match against
Doug, and Eddie says that he will have his back.
Match #3 - Luther Reigns vs. Booker T
Booker T is with his wife before the match, and
she tells him the Reigns said he was going to beat him
down. This gets Booker all fired up to go out to the
ring. Booker and Luther dance around, until Reigns
takes control with clubbing blows. Booker fights back
with knife-edge chops, and then a kick to the sternum.
Booker gets himself caught up on the ropes, after
Reigns ducked the axe kick. Reigns then knocks Booker
off the apron onto the floor. Back in the ring, a
clothesline knocks Booker to the mat. Reigns goes for
a spinning neck breaker, but Booker counters. A high
elbow takes down Luther, as Booker shoots of the
ropes. Booker follows with a spine buster, and then
pulls off a spin-a-rooni. Booker catches Reigns with a
scissors kick, and covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Booker T
Teddy Long talks shop with one of the production
guys, and then is surprised in his office by "Cowboy"
Bob Orton. The senior Orton is here to talk to the
Undertaker about his match with his son. Teddy says
talking to 'Taker isn't a good idea. (Ya think!) Long
says he'll allow it, and the ring is his right now.
Orton says he is proud of being inducted into the
Hall of Fame, and that he has molded Randy into one of
the greatest wrestlers today. Orton asks 'Taker to
come to the ring to hear him out. The Dead Man comes
to the ring, and Orton says he doesn't want any
trouble, just hear him out. Dad apologizes for Randy's
actions. Orton asks Undertake to put the beast back to
sleep. Undertaker says that one slap sealed Randy's
fate, and he will "rest in peace." The cowboy gets on
his knees and bags for mercy for Randy. The Undertaker
turns to leave, but Orton grabs his arm. When
Undertaker turns back, Randy Orton is there with an
RKO. Both Orton leave the ring, both proud of their
handiwork. Undertaker tries to get up, but can't.
Match #4 - Rey Mysterio w/ Eddie Guerrero vs.
Doug Basham w/ Danny Basham
Doug gains an early advantage by stomping on Rey
and then locking in a abominable stretch. Rey breaks
free of the hold, and hits a head scissors. Rey hits a
flying body press off the rope, and the follows with a
seated senton. Doug is then drop kicked into the ropes
and Rey hits the 619. Danny tries to interfere, but
when Eddie chases after Danny, he hits the rope, and
accidentally knocks Rey off the turnbuckle. Doug
covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Doug Basham
Eddie and Rey have words in the ring, again. Both
men make up, and hug in the ring.
Josh Matthews asks Kurt Angle if his strategy has
changed since he failed to take out HBK on RAW. Angle
offers to show Matthews his strategy, and decks him.
Angle pounds on Matthews, and drags him to the ring.
Angle continues to assault Matthews. Matthews musters
the strength to fight back, but Angle responds with
the Olympic Slam. The Olympic Champ proceeds to slap
on the ankle lock, and holds it forever. Angle then
tells Michaels that this is what he can expect at
Wrestlemania. Angle then has a bio piece shown,
telling why he is bigger and better.
Michael Cole calls Big Show and Akebono to
the ring for the official Wrestlemania Weigh In. Big
Show steps on the scale first, and weighs in at 493
pounds. Akebono tops the 500 mark at 504 pounds. Show
is amazed that Akebono outweighs him, but Show says he
is still bigger then him. (It's called leverage Show,
size matters not; take a physics class.) Akebono tells
Show that he is honored that he will give him his
first sumo match in WWE, so tonight he will be in his
first wrestling match.
Match #5 - Akebono vs. Eddie Vegas
Eddie is caught by Akebono in mid air. After a
turnbuckle avalanche, Vegas is out. Akebono pins him
in the middle of the ring.
Winner via pinfall: Akebono
Match #6 - John Cena vs. Carlito Caribbean
Cool
Carlito starts by using the ref as a shield. Cena
and CCC lock up, and Carlito calls for Cena to back
off in the corner. Carlito runs around the ring, and
attacks Cena as he slides back into the ring. Cena
smashes Carlito off the turnbuckle. CCC turns the
table, pounding on Cena in the corner, but Cena
counters with a clothesline. Carlito is banged off
the turnbuckle, and then hit by a shoulder block. Cena starts
pumping up his shoes, when JBL interrupts with four
officers. JBL says they have a warrant for his arrest
for vandalism. The officers get the cuffs on him, and
JBL takes the opportunity to get in a cheap shot. JBL
says he'll see him in three days.
No Contest
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. If Nick Tylwalk's challenge to
Muhammad Hassan is turned down, Dale will gladly step
up to face the RAW reporter. Send your support to
Dplummer627@yahoo.com.
