March 25, 2005
Smackdown: Angle arranges Sensational return
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
After I short detour off the road to Wrestlemania, I'm back. Smackdown comes to us from Memphis, Tennessee, but I don't think we'll be seeing the King.
The Big Show kicks things off in the ring with Tazz, not to wrestle, but to hype his 'sumo' match with Akebono. Tazz rolls footage of the sumo champ, and to avoid an international incident, I will keep all comments to myself. Luther Reigns crashes the party, driving out in a Jeep. Reigns begs Show to shut up, and then says he should take on Akebono. He says to prove his point he will flip over the Jeep he drove out in. (Side note: If you are at a live TV event, stop yelling "What?" Only together can we stop this travesty.) Anyway, Reigns struggles with the Jeep, and can barely get the wheels off the ground. Big Show laughs. Reigns gets angry. Reigns storms ring. Reigns chokeslammed by Big Show. After the chokeslam, Big Show takes a crack at he Jeep. Big Show gets it rocking, but cannot tip it. Show breaks the windshield, and takes another crack at it. He finally tips it over, and walks to the back.
Backstage, Chavo Guerrero is in his uncle's ear again. Chavo says he won't lie to him, and that Rey is holding him back. Chavo says Eddie did all the work, and Rey stole the win. Chavo tells Eddie to listen to his soul.
Match #1 - Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty II Hotty
JBL smacks Scotty in the face with his hat, and the WWE champ is taken down. Scotty takes out Jordan, and goes for a worm on JBL. The champ rolls out of the ring, and tells Jordan that he has is under control. JBL wrestles instead of Jordan. JBL hits a fall away slam, and then drops a couple of elbows on Scotty. JBL is whipped in the corner, but avoids the charge, and counters with the Clothesline from Hell. The champ covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: JBL
Kurt Angle tells Josh Matthews that he has another blast from HBK's past. And this one blows Marty Jannetty away.
General Manager, Teddy Long, graces the ring with his presence. Long says he has an Elvis impersonator entertain the crowd. Carlito comes out dressed as Elvis. Carlito isn't happy that Long wants to embarrass him, but he sings anyway. The crowd boos him off the stage.
Eddie Guerrero finds Rey Mysterio backstage, and Rey says he is looking forward to tonight and Wrestlemania. Eddie says that they don't have a match at WM, so Eddie proposes that they face each other. Rey laughs, but Eddie is serious.
Match #2 - Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas - WWE tag team title match
The Undertaker interrupts the challengers' entrance to tell Randy Orton that he has awakened the beast, and tonight there will be a sacrifice. Eddie and Hardcore start off by sizing each other up. Eddie is hit by a drop kick, and kicks out of a pin attempt. Mysterio and Haas tag in, and Haas is dropped into the ropes. As Eddie goes for the 619, the lights go out, and lightning strikes, and the show goes off the air. Apparently nothing happened, as Hardcore Holly is all over Mysterio, when return from the break. A back elbow from Mysterio catches Hass in the jaw, and then Rey hits a seated senton. Guerrero tags in, and hits the three amigos on Haas. Guerrero goes for the frogsplash, but rolls through, as Haas dodges. The ref is distracted, and Hardcore Holly takes a cheap shot at Eddie. Haas slaps on the Haas of Pain, but Mysterio breaks it up with a leg drop. Haas is driven into the turnbuckle, and Eddie tosses Rey onto Haas' shoulder, and then Rey hits a hurricarana. Mysterio then takes out Hardcore, and Guerrero hits the frogsplash for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio
After the match, Mysterio accepts Eddie's challenge. Both men shake hands in the ring.
HBK's music hits, but it's Kurt Angle who comes out, dressed as the Heartbreak Kid, and doing his dance. Halfway down the ramp, he calls for someone from the back. It's Sensational Sherri, Michaels' former manager. Angle says he will prove that he is the better entertainer. Sherri helped contribute to the HBK entrance song, Angle tells Sherri it sucks. So Angle sings his own version of the song. Angle and Sherri look to be having a great time, when Michaels interrupts. HBK tells Sherri that she doesn't look that good. He then asks if he can show an HBK retrospective, and the video airs. Sherri seems touched by the video, and Angle knocks her to the ground, and slaps on the ankle lock.
Match #3 - Michelle McCool vs. Dawn Marie - Cat Fight
I'm reporting the result of this match and that's it. The highlight of the match, was more mystical flashing lights from the Undertaker.
Winner: Dawn Marie
Funaki catches up with Carlito. CCC says he's on break, and slams his sunglasses into Funaki. The former cruiserweight champs puts on the shades and starts singing. Carlito then goes Jeff Jarrett on him, slamming the guitar over his head. He then says then can tell Teddy Long that, "Carlito has left the building."
I normally don't shill for WWE, but since the Wrestlemania promos were so good, I invite you all to vote for the best one on WWE.com.
Match #4 - Booker T vs. Renee Dupree
Booker hits a heel kick, early, but Dupree responds by whipping Booker across the ring. The lights go out, and Undertaker appears behind Dupree. The Dead Man hits a choke slam, and then tombstones Dupree on the ring steps.
Teddy Long hits the ring, again. He is going to
moderate a debate between JBL and John Cena. JBL
informs Cena that if he touches him, he will lose the
title shot at Wrestlemania. Cena will be allowed to
defend himself, though. (Please, someone explain the
point of the segment to me.) JBL responds to the
first question, but Cena responds by trying to entice
JBL into attacking him. Cena slashes the tires on
JBL's limo. Cena then spray paints 'JBL Sucks' on the
side of the car. JBL rips into Cena again, but Cena
just goes to work on the champ's wardrobe. Cena cuts
off JBL's tie, and puts it on himself. JBL is barely
able to contain his anger, but doesn't fall for Cena's
games. Cena says he can prove the JBL is nothing but a
liar. Cena takes his hat, and to prove it's ten-gallon
hat, he wants to see how much water it holds. Cena
says it barely holds a gallon, and puts the hat back
on JBL, with the water still in it. A soaking wet JBL
still holds off on any confrontation. Cena takes it up
another notch, by spray painting F-U on JBL's shirt.
Cena leaves JBL stewing in the ring.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. You can email Dale at