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Smackdown: Angle arranges Sensational return
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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After I short detour off the road to Wrestlemania,
I'm back. Smackdown comes to us from Memphis,
Tennessee, but I don't think we'll be seeing the King.
The Big Show kicks things off in the ring with
Tazz, not to wrestle, but to hype his 'sumo' match
with Akebono. Tazz rolls footage of the sumo champ,
and to avoid an international incident, I will keep
all comments to myself. Luther Reigns crashes the
party, driving out in a Jeep. Reigns begs Show to shut
up, and then says he should take on Akebono. He says
to prove his point he will flip over the Jeep he drove
out in. (Side note: If you are at a live TV event,
stop yelling "What?" Only together can we stop this
travesty.) Anyway, Reigns struggles with the Jeep, and
can barely get the wheels off the ground. Big Show
laughs. Reigns gets angry. Reigns storms ring. Reigns
chokeslammed by Big Show. After the chokeslam, Big
Show takes a crack at he Jeep. Big Show gets it
rocking, but cannot tip it. Show breaks the
windshield, and takes another crack at it. He finally
tips it over, and walks to the back.
Backstage, Chavo Guerrero is in his uncle's ear
again. Chavo says he won't lie to him, and that Rey
is holding him back. Chavo says Eddie did all the
work, and Rey stole the win. Chavo tells Eddie to
listen to his soul.
Match #1 - Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty II Hotty
JBL smacks Scotty in the face with his hat, and
the WWE champ is taken down. Scotty takes out Jordan,
and goes for a worm on JBL. The champ rolls out of the
ring, and tells Jordan that he has is under control.
JBL wrestles instead of Jordan. JBL hits a fall away
slam, and then drops a couple of elbows on Scotty. JBL
is whipped in the corner, but avoids the charge, and
counters with the Clothesline from Hell. The champ
covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: JBL
Kurt Angle tells Josh Matthews that he has another
blast from HBK's past. And this one blows Marty
Jannetty away.
General Manager, Teddy Long, graces the ring with
his presence. Long says he has an Elvis impersonator
entertain the crowd. Carlito comes out dressed as
Elvis. Carlito isn't happy that Long wants to embarrass
him, but he sings anyway. The crowd boos him off the
stage.
Eddie Guerrero finds Rey Mysterio backstage, and
Rey says he is looking forward to tonight and
Wrestlemania. Eddie says that they don't have a match
at WM, so Eddie proposes that they face each other.
Rey laughs, but Eddie is serious.
Match #2 - Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs.
Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas - WWE tag team title
match
The Undertaker interrupts the challengers' entrance
to tell Randy Orton that he has awakened the beast,
and tonight there will be a sacrifice. Eddie and
Hardcore start off by sizing each other up. Eddie is
hit by a drop kick, and kicks out of a pin attempt.
Mysterio and Haas tag in, and Haas is dropped into the
ropes. As Eddie goes for the 619, the lights go out,
and lightning strikes, and the show goes off the air.
Apparently nothing happened, as Hardcore Holly is all
over Mysterio, when return from the break. A back
elbow from Mysterio catches Hass in the jaw, and then
Rey hits a seated senton. Guerrero tags in, and hits
the three amigos on Haas. Guerrero goes for the
frogsplash, but rolls through, as Haas dodges. The ref
is distracted, and Hardcore Holly takes a cheap shot
at Eddie. Haas slaps on the Haas of Pain, but Mysterio
breaks it up with a leg drop. Haas is driven into the
turnbuckle, and Eddie tosses Rey onto Haas' shoulder,
and then Rey hits a hurricarana. Mysterio then takes
out Hardcore, and Guerrero hits the frogsplash for the
win.
Winner via pin fall: Eddie Guerrero and Rey
Mysterio
After the match, Mysterio accepts Eddie's
challenge. Both men shake hands in the ring.
HBK's music hits, but it's Kurt Angle who comes
out, dressed as the Heartbreak Kid, and doing his
dance. Halfway down the ramp, he calls for someone
from the back. It's Sensational Sherri, Michaels'
former manager. Angle says he will prove that he is
the better entertainer. Sherri helped contribute to
the HBK entrance song, Angle tells Sherri it sucks. So
Angle sings his own version of the song. Angle and
Sherri look to be having a great time, when Michaels
interrupts. HBK tells Sherri that she doesn't look
that good. He then asks if he can show an HBK
retrospective, and the video airs. Sherri seems
touched by the video, and Angle knocks her to the
ground, and slaps on the ankle lock.
Match #3 - Michelle McCool vs. Dawn Marie -
Cat Fight
I'm reporting the result of this match and that's
it. The highlight of the match, was more mystical
flashing lights from the Undertaker.
Winner: Dawn Marie
Funaki catches up with Carlito. CCC says he's on
break, and slams his sunglasses into Funaki. The
former cruiserweight champs puts on the shades and
starts singing. Carlito then goes Jeff Jarrett on him,
slamming the guitar over his head. He then says then
can tell Teddy Long that, "Carlito has left the
building."
I normally don't shill for WWE, but since the
Wrestlemania promos were so good, I invite you all to
vote for the best one on WWE.com.
Match #4 - Booker T vs. Renee Dupree
Booker hits a heel kick, early, but Dupree
responds by whipping Booker across the ring. The
lights go out, and Undertaker appears behind Dupree.
The Dead Man hits a choke slam, and then tombstones
Dupree on the ring steps.
No Contest
Teddy Long hits the ring, again. He is going to
moderate a debate between JBL and John Cena. JBL
informs Cena that if he touches him, he will lose the
title shot at Wrestlemania. Cena will be allowed to
defend himself, though. (Please, someone explain the
point of the segment to me.) JBL responds to the
first question, but Cena responds by trying to entice
JBL into attacking him. Cena slashes the tires on
JBL's limo. Cena then spray paints 'JBL Sucks' on the
side of the car. JBL rips into Cena again, but Cena
just goes to work on the champ's wardrobe. Cena cuts
off JBL's tie, and puts it on himself. JBL is barely
able to contain his anger, but doesn't fall for Cena's
games. Cena says he can prove the JBL is nothing but a
liar. Cena takes his hat, and to prove it's ten-gallon
hat, he wants to see how much water it holds. Cena
says it barely holds a gallon, and puts the hat back
on JBL, with the water still in it. A soaking wet JBL
still holds off on any confrontation. Cena takes it up
another notch, by spray painting F-U on JBL's shirt.
Cena leaves JBL stewing in the ring.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. You can email Dale at
Dplummer627@yahoo.com.
