Smackdown: Orlando claims U.S. belt
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Albany, New York. It's the capital of New York,
the home of the River Rats of the AHL (who needs the
NHL), and the next stop on the road to Wrestlemania.
One big question, will John Cena be the U.S.
champion when he faces JBL next month? Michael Cole
and Tazz answer that question and others.
Speaking of Cena, the good doctor starts the show
off with a bang, getting the Albany crowd fired up,
sporting a Lawrence Taylor throwback jersey. Cena says
he busted up the champ's party because he is sick of
JBL. Cena then cements his status with the crowd by
playing the "I'm one of you" card. Cena tells JBL he
wants a fight, and since the champ ducked him last
week, he'll face Orlando Jordan.
Match #1 - Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero vs.
Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak
Guerrero and Reigns exchange holds to start the
match, bet Reigns powers Eddie into the corner.
Guerrero makes a quick tag to Rey, who hit Reigns with
a double axe handle. Reigns responds by choking Rey on
the second rope. Jindrak tags in, and gets dropkicked
in the face. Mysterio gets double teamed, as the ref
is outside the ring dealing with Guerrero. Reigns
tosses Mysterio face first into the turnbuckle, and
tags in Jindrak. Mysterio fights out of the heels
corner, and knock Reigns into the ropes. A knee to the
back from Jindrak shuts down the 619. Mysterio makes a
desperation tag. Guerrero dropkicks Jindrak off the
apron, and then dropkicks Reigns. Guerrero hits two of
the three amigos, and Eddie ducks, so Mysterio can hit
a seated senton. Guerrero then hits the third suplex.
Eddie climbs the ropes and hits the frog splash, and
the champs retain their belts.
Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio and Eddie
After the match, Jindrak and Reigns argue, and get
into a shoving match. And shoving leads to slapping
that leads to punching, and Jindrak knocks out Reigns
with a left hook.
Three of the random Divas are in the back, when
Dawn Marie walks in. Dawn says she has had enough of
these girls. Dawn starts in on Joy, but Michelle
McCool comes to her aid. Dawn wants to get in the
ring, and challenges Michelle to a mixed tag match.
Teddy Long is on the phone discussing
Wrestlemania, when Carlito reports for duty. Teddy has
an assignment for Carlito. Shovel the front walk.
In case you missed it, there were a few
announcements concerning Wrestlemania. First Piper's
Pit is returning, and his guest is Stone Cold Steve
Match #2 - Booker T vs. Heidenreich
Booker T jumps Heidenreich as he enters the ring,
and pummels him in the corner. Booker follows with a
suplex, and then slams his head into the top
turnbuckle. Heidenreich responds by hammering away on
Booker's back. A kick to the belly slows Heidenreich,
and the big man rolls outside the ring. Booker
follows, slamming Heidenreich into the security
barrier. Heidenreich reverses and Irish whip, sending
Booker T into the ring post. Booker is then tossed
into the ring, and tossed shoulder first into the ring
post. Heidenreich slaps on a key lock, and Booker T
fights out with a chin buster. Booker starts to build
momentum, and knocks Heidenreich to the ground with a
kick to the sternum. He follows with a spin kick.
Heidenreich explodes out of the corner, and catches
Booker with a clothesline. Heidenreich grabs a chair,
but Booker kicks it back in his face. Booker then
DDTs Heidenreich on the chair, and gets himself
Winner via DQ: Heidenreich
After the bell, Booker hits an axe kick and then
follows with a spin-a-rooni.
I don't know how they do it, but WWE tops itself
every week with the Wrestlemania promos. John Cena and
JBL recreate the courtroom scene in A Few Good Men,
with JBL in Jack Nicholson's role. If only the
wrestling storylines were this creative. The best
line, "While Big Show's loss maybe tragic, it probably
saved this company." That's good stuff. If the
Wretlemania 21 DVD has all these promos on it, I'm
buying it, no questions asked.
Match #3 - Kurt Angle vs. ??? - Kurt Angle
Angle gloats about his actions on RAW Monday, and
then shows the footage, in black and white. The
Olympic champ wants to prove that he's the best, not
Shawn Michaels. Angle's opponent comes to the ring
covered by a hood. Angle assumes that it's HBK under
the hood. It's not; it's just a local wrestler from
Albany, and he looks pissed. Angle says he knew he
wasn't HBK, because HBK wouldn't show up on Smackdown.
The cameraman behind Angle lays down his camera, and
takes off his hat. It's HBK. Michaels jumps Angle, and
beats on him until security can separate the two men.
Teddy Long stops security to talk to HBK. Long
says he's not hatin' on him, but he has to have him
escorted from the building.
Match #4 - Dawn Marie and Renee Dupree vs.
Michelle McCool and The Big Show - Mixed Tag Team
The only purpose this match serves is to set up
some Diva nonsense at Wrestlemania, which is there so
everyone in the arena can make a nacho run. Hopefully,
McCool will get some wrestling lessons between now and
then. Dupree wants nothing to do with this match, when
Big Show makes his way to the ring. Michelle and Dawn
start things off, and in this match only girl can
fight girls, and men fight men. Dawn beats up
Michelle, and then Michelle wastes valuable airtime
trying to 'wrestle'. Dupree tags in and mocks McCool,
only to get kicked in the groin. Big Show tags in, and
choke slams Dupree. Show covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Michelle McCool and The
Carlito is having some trouble shoveling the snow.
He throws down the shovel, but slips on the ice.
JBL heads to the ring, by himself, and he doesn't
look happy. The champ wants answers. He wants to know
why he doesn't deserve a celebration. JBL also wants
to know why people cheered when his party was ruined.
JBL tells the crowd, and John Cena, that they must
respect him. JBL says Cena has made a mockery of the
U.S. title, and he hates what he stands for. It makes
him sick that he has to face Cena at WM 21. JBL goes
on and on and on and on, just running down the crowd,
trying to whip them into an angry froth, but not quite
getting there. Until, he threaten to walk out because
of the boos. Then the crowd gets into it, and the
champ walks out.
JBL gathers up his cabinet to leave, but orders
Jordan to stay and win the U.S. title. And if he
doesn't JBL will send Jordan "Back to the hood, with
those people." (Before you jump all over this for
being racist, I know what JBL meant; it ties in
directly with the promo he just cut.)
Chavo Guerrero stops by to see his uncle. He
talks to Rey, and says Eddie is only tagging with him
so Rey can't beat him. You know, keeping his friends
close and enemies closer. Chavo says Eddie will
strike, you can never trust a Guerrero.
Joy and Big Show are talking about the win, when
Funaki interrupts. Funaki pitches Show on facing
legendary Sumo wrestler Aki Bono. Show says it will be
his honor to face him.
Match #5 - John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan - U.S.
Cena and Jordan lock up, and Cena pulls off a
quick schoolboy, but Jordan kicks out. Cena hits a
suplex, and almost scores the pin. Jordan gets a boot
up in the corner, but then walks into a side slam. He
follows with the five-knuckle shuffle. Jordan rolls
out of the ring to regroup. After the commercial
break, Jordan is hip tossed by Cena. Jordan fights out
of a rear naked choke, and the ducks a clothesline,
but missed on the cross body. Cena hits a leg drop,
and then tosses Jordan into the corner. Cena drop the
chief of staff with a series of punches. A thumb to
the eye slows down Cena. Jordan climbs the turnbuckle,
and hits a flying cross body, but Cena rolls through
the lateral press, and almost gets the pin. Cena
mounts Jordan in the corner, and hits the 10 punches,
but Jordan power bombs Cena off the turnbuckle, and
almost gets the pin. Jordan hits a high elbow, to
knock Cena to the mat. Jordan dropkicks Cena, and
follows with a body slam, and leg drop. Cena kicks out
at two. Jordan locks in a rear naked choke. Cena
fights out, and counters with a back suplex. Cena
nails a shoulder block, and both men go down. Jordan
gets to his feet in the corner, and Cena nails him
with a clothesline. The champ follows with an inverted
atomic drop. Cena nails a spinning slam, and then
pumps up the shoes. Cena hits the F-U, as the Bashams
hit the ring. Cena takes care of the Bashams, but
doesn't see JBL outside the ring. Cena is clocked with
the WWE title, and Orlando Jordan pins Cena to win the
Winner and new United States Champion: Orlando
JBL and Jordan mock Cena as they head to the back.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale is preparing to counter the
$3.5 billion buyout offer made to the NHL. You can
send your donations to Dplummer627@yahoo.com, and Dale promises to move franchises back to Canada.