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Smackdown: It's Batista's big show
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


It's only three days from No Way Out, and WWE has booked THREE matches! Way to push that Pay-Per-View, as Smackdown comes from Cleveland, Ohio. And there might even be a visitor from RAW on tonight! I can barely contain myself.

Smackdown! should be in a foreign country every week, it cuts down on the long-winded promos, and cuts right to the action.

Match #1 - Rey Mysterio vs. Doug Basham w/ Danny Basham

Rey grabs a mike and tells the Bashams that they look very proud of themselves. Mysterio is still upset that they hurt his partner RVD, and won the tag belts. Rey announces he has a new partner, and they will face the Bashams at No Way Out. Eddie Guerrero rolls to ringside to be in his new partner's corner for tonight's match. Mysterio ducks a clothesline and responds with a springboard body press. Doug spills out of the ring, and Danny attacks Rey behind the ref's back. After a leapfrog, Mysterio nails a spring board moonsault. Rey then hangs Danny on the top rope, and Doug takes advantage of the distraction. Eddie takes a shot at Doug, and Rey is able to surprise him with the 619. Rey drops the dime on Doug, and gets the pin.

Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio

JBL and Orlando Jordan storm into Teddy Long's office. He wants to know what Long is going to do about Batista coming for him. Long says he asked for this by trying to run down Batista. JBL denies the allegations. Then the champ accuses Long of setting him up. Long also says he will try to sign Batista this Monday on RAW.

Teddy Long says that No Way Out will top any Pay-Per-View that has been in Pittsburgh. Teddy, last time I checked the Undertaker/Mankind Hell in a Cell took place in the steel city. I don't think anything you roll out can top that, barb wire cage or not.

Match #2 - Chavo Guerrero, Spike Dudley, and Akio vs. Funaki, Paul London, and Shannon Moore

How about three singles matches instead of one big one? Akio and Moore start things off. Moore quickly tags in London, and Chavo tags in. London slaps on a take down headlock. London shoots off the ropes, and catches Akio trying to get in a cheap shot, but Chavo knocks London out of the ring. Chavo slaps on a reverse chin lock, when the Diva wannabes parade around the ring. If I were a cruiserweight right now, I'd be very unhappy. Spike hits the stomp off the turnbuckle on London. Akio and Spike are dropkicked by London, and Funaki tags in, and hits a double clothesline. Spike slows him down with a clubbing blow to the back. Funaki hits an enzugiri, but Akio breaks up the pin. The champ sets up Spike for the tornado DDT, but Chavo breaks it up. Moore and London fly over the top rope to take out Guerrero and Akio. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog, but Funaki counters with a kick to the jaw, and he covers Spike for the win.

Winner via pin-fall: Funaki, Paul London, and Shannon Moore

The best Wrestlemania spoof to date; Booker T and Eddie Guerrero in Pulp Fiction. It's sad when the promos are better then the show, but I can't wait to see that again.

Match #3 - Kurt Angle vs. Danny Jamondo - Kurt Angle Invitational

Angle cuts a promo before his match. He's going to win at No Way Out, he's the greatest, the usual stuff. Angle has imposed a three minute time limit on himself again. Angle has the ankle lock on in under a minute and half, and Danny taps.

Winner via submission: Kurt Angle

Kurt Angle and John Cena stare each other down as the pass on the ramp.

Match #4 - Booker T vs. John Cena - #1 Contender's Tournament Match

The two lock up to start the match. Booker makes a clean break in the corner. Cena applies a standing headlock, and after being shot off the ropes, Cena reverse a hip toss. Booker responds with chops to the chest. Cena battles back with a elbow that floors Booker. Cena ducks a kick, and counters with a clothesline, and gets a near fall. Booker counters a front face lock with a back suplex, and goes for the axe kick. Cena sidesteps, and goes for the F-U. Booker wriggles free, and we go to commercial. Booker T takes down Cena with a kick to the face, but can't get the cover. Booker then catches Cena with a spin kick. Cena counters another kick into a flapjack, and both men are down. Cena gets up, only to be shoved through the ropes. Booker T jumps off the apron and catches Cena in the back. Booker follows with a snap suplex in the ring, and then a knee to the head, but Cena kicks out. Booker hits a scoop power slam, but still can't get the pin. Cena explodes with a shoulder block, and both men go down, again. Cena pulls himself up, blocking a right from Booker. And then head butts him. A back elbow sends Book to the mat. A spine buster plants Cena, and then a kick to the gut sets up the axe kick. Cena sidesteps, and sets up the F-U. Booker grabs the ropes to break up the move. Booker goes for the Book End, but Cena counters. Booker then hits a high elbow, but walks right into the F-U. Cena covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: John Cena

JBL says this is why he fired Amy Weber, with that statement she has been written out of WWE. JBL says he has a plan for No Way Out. Elsewhere, Josh Matthews asks Big Show about Batista. Show says he doesn't care about that; he is just focused on the belt. Show says that nothing he has done in his career has prepared him for this up coming match.

Booker T runs into a laughing Heidenreich. Booker wants to know if Heidenreich is laughing because he lost to Cena. Booker calls Heidenreich a sick individual, and that he needs help.

Match #5 - Nunzio vs. Luther Reigns w/ Mark Jindrak

Poor Nunzio, reduced to jobber status, can't even claim his spot in the Royal Rumble. Nunzio gets his shots in, but Reigns soundly beats him.

Winner: Luther Reigns

After the match, Reings cuts a promo on the Undertaker. Reigns calls the ring his yard, and the lights go out, and the bells toll. And we go to commercial. We come back as the Undertaker strides to the ring.

Match #6 - The Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak w/ Luther Reings

Undertaker knocks Reigns off the apron with a big boot, and then tosses Jindrak into the corner by the throat. Undertaker is whipped into the corner, and blasts Jindrak with a clothesline. The Dead Man goes after Reigns again, and lays him out. He returns to the ring, and hits snake eyes on Jindrak. A standing dropkick sends Taker to the mat. Undertaker fights his way out of the corner, but counters with a scoop slam. Undertaker hit a DDT after being shot off the ropes. Undertaker sets up the choke slam, but Jindrak counters with a shot to the gut. After a flying clothesline, Jindrak is planted with choke slam. Outside the ring, Reings commandeers a camera, and waits for Undertaker to pin Jindrak, before laying him out.

Winner via pin-fall : The Undertaker

As Reigns walks back up the ramp, the Undertaker sits up as his music starts. Reigns is stunned.

Carlito Caribbean Cool struts into Teddy Long's office to help him clean out his office. Teddy says a decision will be made next week. CCC is pretty upset, but Teddy says he still has a job to do. Carlito accuses Long of setting up JBL, so he can sign Batista.

Cena chats with Josh Matthews about his match at No Way Out. Angle interrupts him and tells him that he doesn't deserve to be the champ. Cena says he's hungry, and that's why he will win.

JBL is on the phone and finds out that Batista has arrived. He takes his crew out to get him.

The champ and his cabinet head to the ring. JBL says he did not try to run down Batista on RAW. If he wanted him, he'll do it eye to eye. He says Batista isn't in his league. JBL then calls out Batista and tells Big Show he better watch what happens. Batista is shown getting out of his car in the lot, and takes interest in JBL's limo. In honor of spring training starting, Batista grabs a bat out of his car, and goes to work on the limo like a New York Yankee on steroids. Batista then rips the horns off the car with his bare hands. The cabinet runs to the parking lot, leaving JBL alone in the ring. Batista is long gone, but Big Show is still around. Show confronts the champ in the ring. The cabinet runs in to make the save, and JBL takes down Show with a low blow. Batista runs in, saving Show, and taking out the cabinet with sit down power bombs. Big Show and Batista stare each other down, before setting their sights on JBL.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is mourning the loss of the NHL season. You can send your condolences and try to cheer him up at DPLummer627@yahoo.com. (It's not like the Rangers were making the playoffs, anyway.)