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Smackdown: It's Batista's big show
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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It's only three days from No Way Out, and WWE has
booked THREE matches! Way to push that Pay-Per-View,
as Smackdown comes from Cleveland, Ohio. And there
might even be a visitor from RAW on tonight! I can
barely contain myself.
Smackdown! should be in a foreign country every
week, it cuts down on the long-winded promos, and cuts
right to the action.
Match #1 - Rey Mysterio vs. Doug Basham w/
Danny Basham
Rey grabs a mike and tells the Bashams that they
look very proud of themselves. Mysterio is still upset
that they hurt his partner RVD, and won the tag belts.
Rey announces he has a new partner, and they will face
the Bashams at No Way Out. Eddie Guerrero rolls to
ringside to be in his new partner's corner for
tonight's match. Mysterio ducks a clothesline and
responds with a springboard body press. Doug spills
out of the ring, and Danny attacks Rey behind the
ref's back. After a leapfrog, Mysterio nails a spring
board moonsault. Rey then hangs Danny on the top rope,
and Doug takes advantage of the distraction. Eddie
takes a shot at Doug, and Rey is able to surprise him
with the 619. Rey drops the dime on Doug, and gets the
pin.
Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio
JBL and Orlando Jordan storm into Teddy Long's
office. He wants to know what Long is going to do
about Batista coming for him. Long says he asked for
this by trying to run down Batista. JBL denies the
allegations. Then the champ accuses Long of setting
him up. Long also says he will try to sign Batista
this Monday on RAW.
Teddy Long says that No Way Out will top any
Pay-Per-View that has been in Pittsburgh. Teddy, last
time I checked the Undertaker/Mankind Hell in a Cell
took place in the steel city. I don't think anything
you roll out can top that, barb wire cage or not.
Match #2 - Chavo Guerrero, Spike Dudley, and
Akio vs. Funaki, Paul London, and Shannon Moore
How about three singles matches instead of one big
one? Akio and Moore start things off. Moore quickly
tags in London, and Chavo tags in. London slaps on a
take down headlock. London shoots off the ropes, and
catches Akio trying to get in a cheap shot, but Chavo
knocks London out of the ring. Chavo slaps on a
reverse chin lock, when the Diva wannabes parade
around the ring. If I were a cruiserweight right now,
I'd be very unhappy. Spike hits the stomp off the
turnbuckle on London. Akio and Spike are dropkicked by
London, and Funaki tags in, and hits a double
clothesline. Spike slows him down with a clubbing blow
to the back. Funaki hits an enzugiri, but Akio breaks
up the pin. The champ sets up Spike for the tornado
DDT, but Chavo breaks it up. Moore and London fly over
the top rope to take out Guerrero and Akio. Spike goes
for the Dudley Dog, but Funaki counters with a kick to
the jaw, and he covers Spike for the win.
Winner via pin-fall: Funaki, Paul London, and
Shannon Moore
The best Wrestlemania spoof to date; Booker T and
Eddie Guerrero in Pulp Fiction. It's sad when the
promos are better then the show, but I can't wait to
see that again.
Match #3 - Kurt Angle vs. Danny Jamondo - Kurt
Angle Invitational
Angle cuts a promo before his match. He's going to
win at No Way Out, he's the greatest, the usual stuff.
Angle has imposed a three minute time limit on himself
again. Angle has the ankle lock on in under a minute
and half, and Danny taps.
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle and John Cena stare each other down as
the pass on the ramp.
Match #4 - Booker T vs. John Cena - #1
Contender's Tournament Match
The two lock up to start the match. Booker makes a
clean break in the corner. Cena applies a standing
headlock, and after being shot off the ropes, Cena
reverse a hip toss. Booker responds with chops to the
chest. Cena battles back with a elbow that floors
Booker. Cena ducks a kick, and counters with a
clothesline, and gets a near fall. Booker counters a
front face lock with a back suplex, and goes for the
axe kick. Cena sidesteps, and goes for the F-U. Booker
wriggles free, and we go to commercial. Booker T takes
down Cena with a kick to the face, but can't get the
cover. Booker then catches Cena with a spin kick. Cena
counters another kick into a flapjack, and both men
are down. Cena gets up, only to be shoved through the
ropes. Booker T jumps off the apron and catches Cena
in the back. Booker follows with a snap suplex in the
ring, and then a knee to the head, but Cena kicks out.
Booker hits a scoop power slam, but still can't get
the pin. Cena explodes with a shoulder block, and both
men go down, again. Cena pulls himself up, blocking a
right from Booker. And then head butts him. A back
elbow sends Book to the mat. A spine buster plants
Cena, and then a kick to the gut sets up the axe kick.
Cena sidesteps, and sets up the F-U. Booker grabs the
ropes to break up the move. Booker goes for the Book
End, but Cena counters. Booker then hits a high elbow,
but walks right into the F-U. Cena covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: John Cena
JBL says this is why he fired Amy Weber, with that
statement she has been written out of WWE. JBL says he
has a plan for No Way Out. Elsewhere, Josh Matthews
asks Big Show about Batista. Show says he doesn't care
about that; he is just focused on the belt. Show says
that nothing he has done in his career has prepared
him for this up coming match.
Booker T runs into a laughing Heidenreich. Booker
wants to know if Heidenreich is laughing because he
lost to Cena. Booker calls Heidenreich a sick
individual, and that he needs help.
Match #5 - Nunzio vs. Luther Reigns w/ Mark
Jindrak
Poor Nunzio, reduced to jobber status, can't even
claim his spot in the Royal Rumble. Nunzio gets his
shots in, but Reigns soundly beats him.
Winner: Luther Reigns
After the match, Reings cuts a promo on the
Undertaker. Reigns calls the ring his yard, and the
lights go out, and the bells toll. And we go to
commercial. We come back as the Undertaker strides to
the ring.
Match #6 - The Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak w/
Luther Reings
Undertaker knocks Reigns off the apron with a big
boot, and then tosses Jindrak into the corner by the
throat. Undertaker is whipped into the corner, and
blasts Jindrak with a clothesline. The Dead Man goes
after Reigns again, and lays him out. He returns to
the ring, and hits snake eyes on Jindrak. A standing
dropkick sends Taker to the mat. Undertaker fights his
way out of the corner, but counters with a scoop slam.
Undertaker hit a DDT after being shot off the ropes.
Undertaker sets up the choke slam, but Jindrak
counters with a shot to the gut. After a flying
clothesline, Jindrak is planted with choke slam.
Outside the ring, Reings commandeers a camera, and
waits for Undertaker to pin Jindrak, before laying him
out.
Winner via pin-fall : The Undertaker
As Reigns walks back up the ramp, the Undertaker
sits up as his music starts. Reigns is stunned.
Carlito Caribbean Cool struts into Teddy Long's
office to help him clean out his office. Teddy says a
decision will be made next week. CCC is pretty upset,
but Teddy says he still has a job to do. Carlito
accuses Long of setting up JBL, so he can sign
Batista.
Cena chats with Josh Matthews about his match at
No Way Out. Angle interrupts him and tells him that he
doesn't deserve to be the champ. Cena says he's
hungry, and that's why he will win.
JBL is on the phone and finds out that Batista has
arrived. He takes his crew out to get him.
The champ and his cabinet head to the ring. JBL
says he did not try to run down Batista on RAW. If he
wanted him, he'll do it eye to eye. He says Batista
isn't in his league. JBL then calls out Batista and
tells Big Show he better watch what happens. Batista
is shown getting out of his car in the lot, and takes
interest in JBL's limo. In honor of spring training
starting, Batista grabs a bat out of his car, and goes
to work on the limo like a New York Yankee on
steroids. Batista then rips the horns off the car with
his bare hands. The cabinet runs to the parking lot,
leaving JBL alone in the ring. Batista is long gone,
but Big Show is still around. Show confronts the champ
in the ring. The cabinet runs in to make the save, and
JBL takes down Show with a low blow. Batista runs in,
saving Show, and taking out the cabinet with sit down
power bombs. Big Show and Batista stare each other
down, before setting their sights on JBL.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale is mourning the loss of the
NHL season. You can send your condolences and try to
cheer him up at DPLummer627@yahoo.com. (It's not like
the Rangers were making the playoffs, anyway.)
