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Smackdown: Champions reign on
By
CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling
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Smackdown has returned from Iraq to deliver some holiday cheer to the United
States. Last week we saw minimal feud build up, due to the fact that the
show took place in Iraq and was for the troops, so tonight expect there to be
more hype than ever before, as WWE has some making up to do.
We open the show with Teddy Long saying that tonight is a "Night of
Champions" as a treat for us supporting Smackdown, saying that all the champions will
be defending their titles tonight, and the champs get to choose their
challengers. He says that 2004 was off the hizzle for sizzle, and that 2005 will be
even better. YIPEEEE!
Out comes John Cena who has a mic and does his little rap for us. That belt
of his makes me sick. Cena now calls his fans, get this, "The Chain Gang". I
am sure the D.O.A. are real happy about that. Cena goes out into the crowd and
hugs his fans, or shall I cay his Chain Gangers, boy that sounds ... weird.
Anyway, while he's in the crowd he gives his throwback jersey and chain to a
kid in the crowd. Cena says that he doesn't care who steps up to challenge for
his title. "The French Phenom" comes out and yaks with Cena, which leads to ...
Match One- WWE United States Championship Match- John Cena vs Rene Dupree
These two go at it back and forth, until Cena knocks Dupree down and then
puts on his robe. We see "The French Tickler" 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Rene rolls out,
and Cena chases him, dragging him back to the ring. Dupree catches Cena with
a slew of boots. Dupree whips Cena into the turnbuckles, and then sets him
up for a suplex, which is blocked, Cena goes for a flying crossbody, but he
misses. Dupree then does "The French Tickler". The two go back and forth once
again. Hotshot on Dupree. Cena pumps up his sneakers, and hits Dupree with the
F-U for the one-two-three.
Winner and STILL WWE United States Champion Via Pinfall- John Cena
Backstage Amy Weber and JBL are talking, when they run into Joy Giovanni.
Weber starts taunting Giovanni, claiming she gained weight. Giovanni fires right
back, until JBL starts screaming at her. That prompts The Big Show to come
out, Big Show asks if JBL was trying to run, but JBL says that he doesn't run
from anybody. Big Show tells JBL that he should put the title on the line
against him tonight, JBL replys by saying that he will take that into
consideration. Big Show then asks Giovanni if shes alright as her stares down the
hallway.
We return to Kurt Angle coming out with his security guards, as it's time for
the Kurt Angle Invitational! Angle gets on the mic and says that JBL is
generous, loves children and is kind to animals. Angle goes on saying that JBL is
the most fighting champion of all time. Angle basically wants to the title
shot tonight. Angle calls out his opponent, who is none other than Ring of
Honor's own Matt Stryker.
Match Two- Kurt Angle Invitational- Kurt Angle vs Matt Stryker
Angle hits Stryker with the mic, busting him open. He then takes him down
into the rope. Angle takes him down again and locks the Angle Lock on him,
forcing Stryker to tap out.
Winner Via Submission- Kurt Angle
We take things backstage to RVD and Rey Mysterio, talking about picking
challengers. Rey names some of the teams on Smackdown, while RVD asks about
Moolah and Mae Young. In walk Booker T and Eddie Guerrero, who claim that JBL
wouldn't defend the WWE Title against them, so they want a shot at the WWE Tag
Team Championships. RVD and Mysterio say that they will take them
under consideration. Booker and Guerrero fantasize about winning the titles,
but argue about whose name should go first. They go to ask RVD and Rey what
sounds better, but they had already left. Good move guys!
We go to a recap of Heidenreich vs Undertaker from last week in Iraq. It is
then announced that at the Royal Rumble, it will be The Undertaker vs
Heidenreich.
We go backstage to Daniel Puder walking into the lockerroom, and introducing
himself to everyone. He knocks someone's gear off a bench, and that someone
turns out to be Hardcore Holly, who has a habit of disliking Tough Enough
kids. Holly tells Puder that the lockerroom is full of guys who trained more
than eight weeks to get where they are today. Puder asks Holly if he's ever been
in the main event at Wrestlemania. Puder then goes on to say that he is in
the Royal Rumble, and that when he wins he'll be in the main event at
Wrestlemania. Holly tells him that he has a lot to learn. As Holly walks away, Puder
laughs.
Teddy Long's office is our next stop, and he's in there talking with some
lady about her New Years eve plans. JBL walks in with Amy Weber and Orlando
Jordan. Weber is holding a bowl, containing the names of all the superstars on
the Smackdown Roster. JBL reaches in and chooses a name in front of Teddy
Long. JBL then says that since its champion's choice, he'll pick again, Long tells
him that if hes such a great champion he will wrestle the person who's name
he chooses. JBL agrees and leaves.
We return to JBL's Long Horn Limo pulling into the arena, as we get set for
the WWE Championship Match.
Match Three- WWE Championship Match- JBL vs Shannon Moore
Moore runs into a big boot as he charges the ring. Wow, didn't see this
coming. JBL beats on Moore and powerbombs him. Two Clotheslines from Hell and the
three count is made.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion Via Pinfall- JBL
Out comes Teddy Long, who will make an announcement after the commercial
break.
We come back, and Teddy Long wants to look at the bowl with the names in it.
Weber tries getting away with the bowl, but Joy Giovanni comes down and
cracks her in the head with the bowl. Long grabs the papers and every name says
Shannon Moore. Long wants an explanation from JBL. JBL blames it on Jordan. Long
says that at the Royal Rumble it will be JBL vs Kurt Angle for the WWE
Championship. Kurt Angle then makes his way to the ring. Angle takes back all the
nice things he said about JBL. The two start bickering, until Teddy Long
breaks it up. Long says that they didn't let him finish, and announced that it
will be a Triple Threat match, with Big Show added to the equation. The Big
Show comes out and everyone scatters.
We return to Josh Matthews, who is standing with Carlito Carribean Cool.
Carlito speaks about all the unfair decisions Teddy Long has made, like having
Carlito defend his title against Cena while he was injured. He also said it
was unfair that JBL has to defend his title against Kurt Angle and The Big Show
at the Royal Rumble. Carlito says that his New Years Resolution is to get
rid of Teddy Long.
Heidenreich makes his way to the ring for some mic time. Heidenreich says
that he doesn't fear anything. He goes on to say that he speared The Undertaker
last week. He goes on to say he fears no man living or dead. The lights go
out, DONG! The Undertakers voice is heard, and he says that at the Royal
Rumble, Heidenreich will Rest in Peace. Druids come to the ring carrying a casket.
Heidenreich goes over to the casket and rubs it, and out comes The
Undertaker. Michael Cole speculates that at the Royal Rumble, it will be a Casket
Match!
Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, who
are convinced that RVD and Rey will choose to defend the titles against
them. The Bashams walk in, followed by Eddie Guerrero and Booker T.
Funaki is in the ring, and ready to defend the WWE Cruiserweight
Championship. His opponent is........Spike Dudley.
Match Four-WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match- Funaki vs Spike Dudley
The two go back and forth, but Spike gains the upperhand with a powerbomb.
Funaki's head is bounced off the turnbuckles. Spike continues with some heavy
offense on the champion. Spike drags Funaki to the outside and continues to
beat on him. Funaki fights back with some stiff punches to the face, but Spike
regains the advantage with a rake to the eyes of Funaki. Funaki fires back
again with some punches. Spike continues to get rocked by punches. Bulldog on
Spike, but only a two count. Sunset flip gets the three count though.
Winner and STILL WWE Cruiserweight Champion Via Pinfall- Funaki
Next we recap Christmas in Iraq with a tremendous video package.
Backstage these three girls are talking about this hot guy, who turns out to
be John Cena. They look down and ask Cena if they can "Touch it", "Play with
it", etc. Cena says yeah, and they start spinning his belt. Cena then says
that being the United States champion, definitely has its advantages.
We go to the Raw Rebound, but in my opinion, your better off reading Nick
Tywalk's BRILLANT report. Now that I said it, I want my money!
Josh Matthews is standing by with RVD and Rey Mysterio, its decision time!
RVD and Rey joke around a little, but announce that the team they will be
fighting is... Booker T and Eddie Guerrero.
Match Five- WWE Tag Team Championship Match- Rey Mysterio and RVD vs Eddie
Guerrero and Booker T
Before the match they show clips of Booker T in Iraq, along with his
feelings on the trip. Then we see the same thing for Eddie Guerrero. Guerrero starts
off with Mysterio, as they go through a feeling out process. Series of
reversals ensue. Booker T comes in backs Mysterio into the turnbuckles and beats
on him. Mysterio off the ropes, reverses Booker T and hits him with a drop
kick. RVD is then tagged in, and he locks it up with former partner, Booker T.
These two go back and forth, until RVD scores a second rope kick to the face.
Side headlock is then applied to Booker T. RVD and Mysterio hit the 420 on
Booker T, but they can only get a two count. All four men are in the ring now,
and Eddie and Booker take over. We come back from commercials, and Rey
Mysterio is in firm control of Booker T, until he misses him charging the corner,
and takes a ring post to the shoulder. Booker T suplexes Rey and Eddie hits
his flip into the ring. Eddie puts pressure on the arm and puts Mysterio in
some sort of an arm submission move, an inverted armbar chicken wing of sorts,
until RVD broke it up. Booker then came in and knocked RVD off the ring apron.
Eddie and Booker begin the double team on Mysterio. Eddie comes back in and
once again applies pressure on the arm of Mysterio, but Mysterio fights out
and hits a DDT. Mysterio then crawled over and tagged in RVD, who proceeded to
beat Guerrero from one end of the ring to the other. RVD was able to connect
with the Five Star Frog Splash, but Booker broke the count up at two. RVD
was then sent shoulder first into the turnbuckle post. Booker T is tagged back
in, and he goes to town on RVD. Eddie and Booker go back to their double
teaming ways. Eddie then hits the Three Amigos on RVD, but Mysterio breaks up the
count. RVD fights back out of a headlock, but is taken back down by Booker
T. Book End on RVD, but again Mysterio breaks up the pinfall attempt. CHOP
WOOOOOOOOO, RVD is rocked, but he is able to take down Booker T. Both men tag
out and its Guerrero and Mysterio, who show off their lucha libre styles. Top
rope hurricanrana on Guerrero only gets a two thanks to Booker T. Booker T
hits Nick Patrick by mistake and is caught off guard by Rey, who attempts the
Six One Nine. Eddie has a cover and has been pinning Mysterio for quite some
time now, since Booker hit a Scissor Kick on him. Booker and RVD fight it out
and both men roll to the outside and both men are down. Guerrero goes outside
and grabs the title and puts it on Mysterio. Nick Patrick asks Rey if he hit
him with the belt, Guerrero gets caught taunting by Patrick and pretends to
be out cold again. Mysterio comes off the ropes, roll up and its over!
Phew.
Winners and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions Via Pinfall- RVD and Rey Mysterio
The show ends with Michael Cole wishing everyone a Happy New Year!
A Happy New Year it will be, if WWE shapes up. Thus far, their PPV lineups
look a thousand times better, and with any luck, they will introduce some more
fresh, new talent, and new gimmicks. Yes, you heard me right, I want more
gimmicks! Anyway, on behalf of SLAM! Wrestling, I would like to wish everyone a
Happy, safe and healthy New Year.
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Check out the best of Lucha Libre from Mexico.
Order Lucha-rific Volume 1 DVD
Chris Sokol lives in Long Island, NY.
