This war could be a big bore
Armageddon ho-hum on paper
TJ MADIGAN - Calgary Sun
The dictionary defines Armageddon as a decisive or catastrophic conflict. I'd like to think tomorrow night's WWE pay-per-view will lean towards the 'decisive' side of things.
In reality, however, it looks like 'catastrophic' will be the more accurate definition. If the action in the ring isn't a catastrophe, the buy rate certainly will be.
Welcome to WWE Armageddon.
It's another one of those generic Smackdown pay-per-views with no big drawing card, no emotion behind the matches and, most importantly, no real incentive to hand over $35 to see the show.
The main event will be a fatal four-way for the WWE championship between John Layfield, Booker T, The Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero.
We've already seen all three babyfaces challenge for the belt but rather than give Rob Van Dam or Rey Mysterio a much- deserved shot at the gold, WWE bosses are simply going to throw all the previous contenders in the ring at the same time and hope something clicks.
Layfield, the only heel in the match, has been the most entertaining member of the quartet but has ultimately been a flop as champion. Sadly, I doubt any of the challengers can draw better ratings with the strap, so unless WWE has an ace up its sleeve, even a title change won't make this anything special.
The second most hyped match of the night will see John Cena fly back from his movie shoot in Australia to battle Jesus (Aaron Aguilera) in a streetfight.
Cena is rusty and Aguilera is green, which is obviously not the recipe for a five-star classic.
Aguilera also suffered an injury at a house show in Tennessee last weekend, adding even more train-wreck potential to an already sketchy scenario.
In diva action, Dawn Marie will battle Jackie Gayda, with Charlie Haas as guest referee.
The plotline is centred around Haas, who is engaged to Gayda in real life, having an affair with Dawn Marie.
Not only is it a shallow angle but it could also prove to be a bad omen for the upcoming Haas-Gayda nuptials.
When it comes to on-screen breakups in wrestling, more often than not, real life winds up mirroring the storyline.
Moving down the card, Big Show will battle Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak in a three-on-one handicap match, designed to get Angle on the PPV without wrestling a full match.
Angle has been booked very carefully on recent shows, taking a minimal number of bumps to protect his injured neck.
The most interesting bout on the card will be the first real fight on WWE pay-per-view since the 'Brawl for All' in 1999.
The two remaining Tough Enough contestants, Mike Mizanin and Daniel Puder, will duke it out in an unscripted three-round boxing match.
In theory, the winner will have an advantage going into the on-line vote to determine who deserves the million-dollar contract. However, most people have already pegged Puder as the fan favourite, quite an achievement considering Mizanin's rabid following from his reality TV tenure.
Neither man has any boxing experience, although Puder is a trained mixed martial arts fighter with a better grasp of the basics in a shoot fight situation.
He will probably slaughter Mizanin but anything can happen, which is why this match is so dangerous. Wrestling is predetermined for a reason but, if WWE writers continue to book untrained participants in real fights, they may be forced to re-learn that lesson the hard way.
Armageddon starts at 6 p.m. from the Gwinnett Centre in Atlanta.
You can catch the action live on pay-per-view.
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Pre-order the Armageddon 2004 DVD