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Smackdown: Armageddon nears
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Armageddon is only three days away! Stock up on bottled water, canned goods, and batteries. Oh, itís WWE Armageddon. Sorry, didnít mean to start a panic. Carry on.

JBL and his cabinet kick off the show in the ring from Greenville, South Carolina. The champ demands some respect from the hostile crowd. He then days he is the best champion ever, better then Hogan, Austin and The Rock. JBL complains about the fatal-four way he has to compete in at Armageddon, and blames General Manager Theodore Long for the situation. He also blames his opponents, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, and the Undertaker. Then the lights go out, and a split second later the Undertaker is in the ring. The Dead Man cleans house, sending JBL and his crew to the back.

The Hiroko-Torrie Wilson fued is recapped. I donít even know what to say.

Match #1 - Cruiserweight Battle Royal Ė Number one contender match

Seven cruiserweights are vying for a shot at Spike Dudleyís title in this match. Akio hits a tilt-a-whirl head scissors on Nunzio, and then kicks him off the turnbuckle to eliminate him. Chavo hits a backbreaker on Kidman. Paul London knocks Akio through the second rope, but is eliminated himself by Kidman, who tossed him over the top rope. Akio chops Funaki in the chest, but Funaki then crotches him on the top rope. Shannon Moore follows with a flying leg lariat to knock Akio to the floor and out of the match. Chavo tries power bomb Kidman. HE canít get it so; Chavo just tries to power Kidman over the ropes. Funaki hits a bulldog on Kidman, who was coming out of the corner. Funaki then back body drops Moore over the top rope. Chavo tries to eliminate Kidman again, when Funaki pushes both men over the top rope to win the number one contender ship for the cruiserweight title.

Winner via elimination: Funaki

Charlie Haas is pleading with Miss Jackie to stay in the back during his street fight with Jesus. Josh Matthews stops Haas in the hallway, and asks him about his role in Miss Jackieís and Dawn Marieís match at Armageddon. Hass gives the politically response that he will Call the match fair and square.

Match #2 - Charlie Haas vs. Jesus w/ Carlito Caribbean Cool Ė Street Fight rules

Referee Charles Robinson sends Carlito to back, but not before Carlito spits apple all over him. Thatís not cool. Haas goes right after Jesus, stomping a mud hole in him. HE then goes for a chair, until Carlito appears on the ramp, with Dawn Marie. Jesus takes advantage of the distraction, knocking Haas out with a steel chain. Dawn Marie runs to the ring to check on Haas, and Miss Jackie the joins her in the ring. Both women stare each other down, but neither one gets aggressive.

Winner via knockout: Jesus

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni in her locker room. He tells her to tell her boyfriend, The Big Show, the he is looking for him. Joy says that Show isnít her boyfriend. Luther turns up the creepiness before he leaves.

JBL tells Teddy Long that he and his cabinet are leaving. Long tells him that on Sunday he will be going to the ring by himself. And is one of the cabinet members interferes; he will be stripped of the title on the spot. The Bashams then tell JBL that there has been a security breach. JBL says he doesnít car and is leaving; only he canít leave. Someone has stolen the wheels off his limo. I wonder who did that. Cue Eddie Guerreroís music. Latino Heat heads to the ring, rolling a tire with him. Eddie gets on the mike, and taunts the champ. Eddie says he knows somebody that can get him a great deal on a set of wheels. The prices are so good itís a real steal. Guerrero tells him not to cry, but save the tears for Armageddon, when he loses the belt. JBL climbs into the limo, anyway.

Hey, itís a commercial for the WWE ThemeAddict CD. You can read my review next week.

Torrie Wilson is posing for photos, when she receives a bouquet of flowers from Kenzo Suzuki. She throws them away and calls Kenzo a jerk. Hiroko over hears, and strips Torrie. Hiroko runs from Torrie, who catches her, and strips her down. Torrie then pushes her out onto the Smackdown stage. Hiroko tries to hide, but Torrie chases her to the ring. Kenzo comes out to cover up Hiroko, and Renee Dupree catch Torrie in the corner. RVD and Rey Mysterio run down and save Torrie. Teddy Long comes out, and orders and match for the tag team titles, right now.

Match #3 Ė Kenzo Suzuki and Renee Dupree vs. RVD and Rey Mysterio Ė WWE Tag Team Title match

The match is in full effect, when we return from break. Kenzo is taking it to Mysterio. Kenzo is taken down with a head scissors out of the corner. RVD tags in, and hits a leg drop on Suzuki, right away. RVD is whipped into the corner, and counters a corner charge by getting a boot up. Suzuki regains the momentum with a chop to the throat, and then tags in Dupree. RVD hits a thrust kick off the middle rope. Rvd then goes for the sunset flip, and gets it over with a little help from Mysterio. Dupree kicks out, and RVD tags in Mysterio. Dupree whips Rey into corner, and Mysterio dodges a corner charge. Mysterio then hits a hurricarana off the top rope. Mysterio joins RVD in the ring, and they hit the 4:20, a dual leg drop. RVD goes up for the 5-star, but is crotched on the turnbuckle. Dupree locks in a reverse chin lock. Hiroko rejoins her man at ringside. Kenzo tags in, and drops a knee on RVD. Suzuki beats RVD down in the corner, and then lays him out with a clothesline. RVD powers out of a rear chin lock, but Suzuki lays him out with another clothesline. Dupree tags in and sets RVD up for the French Tickler, but RVD cuts him off with a spinning heel kick. Suzuki runs in to prevent RVD form tagging in Rey. RVD counters a move in the corner, and is able to tag in Mysterio. Suzuki is drop onto the middle turnbuckle. Mysterio then hits a springboard sinton. RVD comes in to hit rolling thunder, but Dupree saves the match by pulling Rey off Suzuki. RVD sets up Suzuki for the 619, but Dupree breaks it up. The Frenchmen hits Mysterio with a power bomb, and is then dropkicked out of the ring by RVD. Hiroko pulls Kenzo onto Mysterio, but Rey kicks out of the pin. Suzuki goes for the power bomb, but Mysterio counters with a roll up. RVD grabs Mysterio for some extra leverage, and Mysterio gets the pin.

Winner via pin fall and new WWE Tag Team Champions: RVD and Rey Mysterio

Ahhhh ... Tough Enough time. Iím going for some snacks. Only three are left. Then, Justice Smith is eliminated. Itís just another case of the Man holding a brother down. Mike Mizanin and Daniel Puder will face each other in a dogfight at Armageddon, but first an American Gladiators type joust. The best two out of three wins. Puder wins 2- 0. Does anyone have the Vegas line on this fight on Sunday? Puder has to be the heavy favorite.

Itís time, itís time, itís Raw Rebound time. Read all about it in Nick Tylwalkís report.

Michelle McCool is helping Booker T limber up in his locker room. Thereís a joke here, but this is a family site. Booker T does show Michelle a hat he took from JBL. He cut a hole in the top of it, so his hair can come out the top. That Booker T is one creative cat.

Once again, Kurt Angle will defend his Olympic Gold medals against some local wrestler, in the Kurt Angle invitational.

Match #4 Ė Kurt Angle vs. A hometown hero

Even I was surprised here. The hometown hero is The Big Show! Angle wonít fight him, when Reigns grabs the mike. Luther tells Big Show that you are looking at the person who wants him more then anyone else, Mark Jindrak. Show dominates Jindrak, until he takes out Showís knees. Big Show hits the Big Boot, and Jindrak is down. Angle breaks up a choke slam, and Jindrak takes him down with a chop block. Jindrak is DQíed, by Angel still attacks, clocking him with the ring steps.

Winner via DQ: The Big Show

The clock is ticking, on your holiday shopping! No, itís Heidenreich in his cell, watching time slip away. He doesnít look happy, so Paul Heyman stops by with his medication. Heidenreich thanks Paul for visiting, and Heyman tells him his therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown! Heidenreich wants to stay, heís happy at the institution. In fact, Heidenreich says heís never going back. Hooray! Itís an early Christmas gift for everyone.

Match #5 Ė JBL, Orlando Jordan and the Bashams vs. The Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, and Booker T Ė 4 on 3 Handicap Match

JBL and his cabinet walk to the ring, while Eddie Guerrero rolls up in a low-rider truck, with four tires in the bed. JBL is not amused. All hell breaks loose to start the match. JBL ducks out of the ring, as Orlando Jordan is tossed from the ring, followed by Doug and Danny Basham. We return from break to fins Guerrero working over Doug Basham. Doug fights back with a series of chops, only to get a thumb to the eye. Guerrero pulls Basham into his corner and tags in Booker T. Danny tags in, but Booker T slams him, and Guerrero flies over the top tope and lands on him. Basham is able to tag in Jordan. The Chief of Staf backs into his corner, and JBL makes the blind tag. Guerrero hits a head scissors on JBL, and the champ tags in Danny Basham. Guerrero hits the three amigos, and then drops Doug on his brother. On the outside, Taker chases JBL into the crowd. Danny Basham gains the upper hand, and Guerrero is beat down in the heel corner. Eddie fights out, but the Bashams stop him from tagging out. Danny locks in a full nelson. Guerrero breaks the hold, only to get a knee in the back trying to shoot of the ropes. Booker T breaks up a JBL pin to save the match. JBL locks in a sleeper on Guerrero. Eddie is able to power out, and counters with a back suplex. A shoulder knock down sends Guerrero back to the mat. Guerrero is whipped into the corner, and tries to springboard off the ropes. JBL catches Guerrero, but Eddie counters a fall away slam into a DDT. The Undertaker finally tags in, and the dead man dominates Orlando Jordan. The Basham try to interfere, but cannot overpower the Undertaker. Guerrero goes after Jordan, and JBL tries for a belt shot. Guerrero ducks it, and lays out the champ. JBL is then left alone in the ring with all three opponents. Jordan tries to save his boos, but is choke slammed. Guerrero dispatches Doug and Danny Basham, and Jordan is axe kicked by Booker T. Guerrero hits the frog splash on Jordan. Undertaker picks up Jordan, and nails him with the Tombstone to pick up the win.

Winner via pin fall: The Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, and Booker T


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  • Order DVD everyone is talking about -- The Rise and Fall of ECW

    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is going to be sending Heidenreich a care package for the holidays while he is in the nut house. You can send your donations to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.