Smackdown: Jolly good show in Manchester
CHRIS SOKOL -- SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight for the first time ever, WWE Smackdown hails from Jolly Old England. JBL is set to take on Hardcore Holly in the first ever hardcore WWE Championship Match. JBL has been taking a beating lately. Also Carlito Caribbean Cool makes his first appearance on Smackdown as the new WWE United States Champion. All that and more on WWE Smackdown ?live? from the UK!
We open up the show with all the wrestlers backstage. Teddy Long walks into the room and lets everyone know that John Cena was attacked at a nightclub after last week's Smackdown. I hope it wasn't those damn hoodlums that beat up Shawn Michaels! Apparently, John Cena was on the receiving end of a beating that left his kidney punctured. Hopefully that won't affect his appearance in "The Marine". Long announces a 20 Man Battle Royal for the Number One Contender's spot for the WWE United States Championship. My boy Carlito walks over and tells Long, "Sooner or later he's bound to come back, and that is not cool." Carlito as champ on the other hand, is COOL!
Match One- Rene Dupree w/ Fifi, Kenzo Suzuki and Hiroko vs. Rob Van Dam
As you can tell, Rene's corner people are listed in order of most talented too least talented. All joking aside Kenzo's singing killed "Living in America" but he was quite funny. He?s found a niche, finally. Kenzo and Hiroko are sent to the back before the match starts. RVD takes down Rene in the early goings and does an attempted dive to the outside on Dupree that unfortunately missed. Dupree gets the advantage, but it is quickly taken away with an elbow to the face. FRENCH TICKLER IN ENGLAND! RVD comes back with Rolling Thunder, but only for a two count. Just like that, Rene gets the advantage back. Chair is brought into play, but is quickly disposed of by RVD. Rene is taken down and hit with the Five Star Frog Splash and it's over. Poor Rene, they show a replay of him landing directly on his head after a suplex, that's RVD's job!
Winner Via Pinfall- Rob Van Dam
Michael Cole and Tazz talk about Heidenreich beating on the "Fans" last week. They show that he made a little kid cry. That #$^$%! Now I am all flustered!
We go to the backstage area, where Teddy Long talk's to Paul Heyman about him being responsible for the fan's safety. Long is getting sued by the "fan" for Heidenreich's behavior. Now that's not fair. Long tells him that Heidenreich better apologize and better not pull any stunts. Heyman asks what happens if he and Heidenreich are interrupted by The Undertaker. Long just laughs as we go to commercial break.
Match Two- Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman
We are shown clips of last week's altercation between Kidman, Haas and Miss Jackie. Haas beats down Billy Kidman into the turnbuckles. Haas is working on a bad knee, so of course Kidman goes to work on it. Repeated kicks to the leg sends Haas to the mat. Haas's leg, meet the turnbuckle post. It's time for the Shooting Star, Dawn Marie runs down to save Charlie, but Kidman does the Shooting Star to Haas's injured leg. The EMT's come down to stretcher Haas out. Now my question is, how come Kidman never did this when he was jobbing on Velocity? Just kidding Billy! Anyway, Haas gets out of the ring on his own feet with help from some of the trainers. A heel Billy Kidman is gold! He's an excellent talent.
Winner Via Pinfall- Billy Kidman
We come back and see Dawn Marie helping Haas to the back.
Backstage Luther Reigns hitting on the Page Three girl's. UGH UGH UGH. Change the channel! Anyway, they tell him they are seeing Eddie Guerrero. I won't even go there. Luther Reigns gets mad and chases them away.
Josh Matthew's gets an interview with JBL. The champ is unhappy about what the Taker did to him. He is also upset that he has to face Hardcore Holly for the third week in a row in a Hardcore Match for the WWE Championship. JBL makes a great heel. Smackdown is really coming together as of late.
Cole and Tazz continue to milk this John Cena "injury". Give it a rest! We go to replay of what happened last week with Carlito and Cena. YES! NEW CHAMP! Boy, Boston is having a bad two weeks. First Cena loses, and then the Red Sox choke, OYE VAY! Carlito is destined for stardom mark my words.
Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak hit the ring. The US Title Number One Contender's Battle Royal is next!
Match Three- Number One Contenders Battle Royal For A Shot At The WWE US Title
The match starts with complete mayhem. Orlando Jordan is out. Guerrero attempts to get rid of Kidman, but to no avail. The tag champs eliminate Nunzio. Rene eliminates Kenzo. Johnny The Bull is gone. Spike is gone. Say goodnight to RVD. Luther Reigns is working on Eddie Guerrero. The Dudley?s work on Rey Mysterio. Rey eliminates both Dudley Boyz. RVD takes out Bubba Ray Dudley with an over the top rope flip. It's out of control as we go to commercial. We come back and Luther and Eddie are still going at it. Scotty Too Hotty hits Kidman with the Worm. Scotty is eliminated. Rico kisses Rene Dupree and Rene eliminates himself. Rey Mysterio eliminates Billy Kidman. Rico is eliminated. Eddie eliminates Mark Jindrak. Eddie Guerrero is then eliminated. It's down to Luther, Kurt and Rey. Eddie distracts Luther and Rey eliminates Luther so it is down to two. Rey fires away at Kurt Angle. Angle tosses Rey away. Rey is almost eliminated by Kurt, but Rey fires back. Headscissors on Kurt. Ankle Lock on Rey while he's in the ropes. Rey gets out of it and Angle gets caught in the ropes. Rey hangs on again. Kurt gets hung up in the top rope. Springboard dropkick on Kurt. DDT on Angle. Angle goes to the top to get Rey. Rey knock's him onto the top rope. Angle teeters until getting into the ring. Angle is almost sent out again. 6-1-9 on the turnbuckle post causes Angle to bounce off the ropes and out to end a fantastic match. Carlito vs. Rey will be great as well. I haven't complemented WWE this much in awhile. They are making some good moves on Smackdown. Major props to them.
Winner and Number One Contender For The WWE United States Championship- Rey Mysterio
We go to Josh Matthews who is with Rey Mysterio Jr. Carlito comes in and say's it's not cool to wear a mask. Carlito tells Rey he wants to fight him tonight. Rey accepts and Carlito attacks him, hitting him with an apple and then spitting chunks in Rey?s face. Cheating is cool!
Match Four- WWE Championship Hardcore Match- JBL vs. Hardcore Holly
This is the first ever Hardcore match for the WWE Championship. JBL look's pretty banged up but starts out with some stiff kicks and punches that leaves Holly in a great deal of pain. Holly comes back with chops. Standing dropkick to the face of JBL and a clothesline to the outside. JBL gets back in the match and sends Holly to the steel steps. JBL find's a bobby hat. Holly hit's JBL with a street sign and trashcan lids for a two count. JBL's head goes off the announce table. Television monitor to the head of Hardcore Holly. JBL throw's steel steps into the ring. JBL gets back dropped onto the announce table for a two count. Holly, with Cricket Bat in hand, gets a boot to the face from JBL. JBL has a steel chair and places it on the mat then attempts a piledriver but is backdropped. Orlando Jordan is in the ring. Holly hit's JBL and Jordan with the trashcan. Holly has steel steps but JBL hits them with his chair into the face of Holly and pins him for the three count.
Winner Via Pinfall and STILL WWE Champion- John Bradshaw Layfield
We go back to the Heidenreich saga; they complain about his actions and say they can?t show footage of him beating the fan because of the lawsuit. They again show that little kid crying. It bringing me back to the old school days of Doink "The Evil" Clown. BRING HIM BACK! BRING ALL THE GIMMICKS BACK! Sorry about that folks, just wanted to speak my mind. Anyway, back to what I was saying, it brought me back to when kids were in utter fear of heels, to the point of crying. AHHHHHH, the memories.
We go to a bunch of bloke's saying how "Wondafu" it is to be at Smackdown. Sorry, just to hard to resist making fun of that accent. My views do not reflect those of SLAM!Wrestling.
Heidenreich and Heyman make their way down to the ring. Heyman apologizes for Heidenreich. The big man takes the mic and says, "You people really get on my nerves." Ah, the heel heat is just coming in. Heidenreich reads off his apology saying that he does apologize for last week, but not for what he did to The Undertaker. He then challenges The Undertaker to a fight, right then and there. Heidenreich say's that if The Undertaker doesn't come out right now, he is going to hurt someone. He bangs on the announce table. Heyman is able to calm Heidenreich down. Heyman is then backed into a corner. John Heidenreich equals Ken Shamrock when he starts hitting himself. This segment was bad, horrible, terrible.
We go to No Mercy footage of Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns.
They then go back to Heidenreich still in the ring. They better get him out, before rating's start going down.
We then go to a Chavo Guerrero Returns Next Week Promo. Oh Yeah!
Match Five- WWE United States Championship Match- Carlito Carribean Cool vs. Rey Mysterio
Carlito walks down to the ring with John Cena's chain around his neck. Lockup to start the match off. Rey takes Carlito into the turnbuckles. Headlock on Carlito. Kick to the stomach of Rey, who hits the apron jams his shoulder in the mid-section of Cool and a senton gets a two count. Carlito fires back, putting Rey on the top rope and punching him. Carlito goes up and gets elbowed to the apron. Rey hits a flying crossbody as the show goes to commercial. Rey is in an armbar when the show returns, and comes back with punches. Carlito goes back to work on Rey and sends him into the turnbuckle post. Carlito continues to work on the arm of Rey Mysterio. Rey fires back with punches, and kicks Carlito's face. Blocked punch by Rey who returns fire and hits a crossbody for a two count. Boot to Carlito's face and a bulldog also gets a two. Carlito stops the momentum with a faceplant for a two. Carlito heads up and gets a boot to the face. Rey takes Carlito down for a two count again and sends Carlito to the ropes with a headscissors. 6-1-9, West Coast Pop is reversed and Rey goes down. Carlito locks in an armbar, Rey fights towards the ropes but is pulled back then finally reaches them. Rey hops on Carlito's shoulders but the roll through is reversed and Carlito holds the ropes for the three count.
Winner Via Pinfall AND STILL WWE United States Champion- Carlito Carribean Cool
We go to scope the Tough Enough field; the remaining competitors look awesome.
Match Six- Eddie Guerrero w/ The Page Three Girl's vs. Luther Reigns
Eddie fires away with punches and connects with a dropkick to the knee. Luther comes back with a backbreaker and throws Guerrero halfway across the ring. Backbreaker applied on Guerrero once again. Eddie fights back and connects with two of the Three Amigos. Reign tried to finish of Eddie but is reversed into a inverted suplex. Guerrero goes up top and takes out an interfering Jindrak. Reigns and Jindrak throw Guerrero into the steel steps on the outside and the ref call's for the bell.
Winner Via DQ- Eddie Guerrero
Reigns hits a twisting neck breaker as Angle heads to the ring with scissors and a shaver, tossing the official out of the ring. They try to shave Guerrero's head but The Big Show makes the save and cleans house.
This was one of the best Smackdowns this year. Solid match after solid match with little talk. As of late, there has not been much good to say about WWE, but this Smackdown has totally re-directed the brand. Keep up the good work and maybe we can salvage some ratings.
Chris Sokol is the youngest writer on the Slam Wrestling website. He is currently saving his money for a road trip to see the Expos play in Montreal. When that's all over, he plan's on taking in a hockey game. For cash donation information, please email CJS137@aol.com