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Smackdown: Carlito cools off Cena
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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No Mercy has come and gone, but we are still left
with its lingering stench. The reclamation project
going into Survivor Series start tonight from the
Fleet Center in Boston. Didn't the Red Sox play
Tuesday? Why are so many people there?
WWE gives us still photos and video to recap the
main event at No Mercy. It makes this reporter glad
that he didn't slap down thirty bucks to see. When
will WWE learn that crashing and exploding cars are
not a good thing.
John Cena, the new U.S. Champ, kicks off the show.
He heads to the ring, with mike in hand. Cena sports
the hometown Sox jersey, and plays to the New England
crowd. Cena actually gives some respect to Booker T,
but not for long, as Cena reverts to his old ways and
makes fun of people. First he sets his sights on
Michael Cole. Cena relents, and decides that he wants
to relax. He decides to pick someone from the crowd to
come to the ring make fun of people. Instead, Carlito
Caribbean Cool interrupts. John, do us all a favor and
end this joker's career. Carlito takes a shot at the
Red Sox, and then tells Cena that he came out to find
the guy that considers himself the coolest guy on
Smackdown! Carlito calls Cena a punk and that Carlito
does what he wants. Cena then says it would be cool if
Carlito faces him tonight in his first match ever.
Carlito doesn't want to fight now, because he doesn't
want to mess up his clothes. Cena doesn't accept
Carlito's handshake, and gets DDT'ed on the belt.
Carlito then spits on Cena.
Match #1 - Kenzo Suzuki w/ Renee Dupree and
Hiroko vs. Rey Mysterio w/ RVD
Suzuki sings 'New York, New York' before the
match, along with a few dance steps with the kick
line. Sinatra he ain't. Suzuki sidesteps and
springboard moonsault from Mysterio, and hits him with
a chin kick. Suzuki then tosses Mysterio from the
ring. Dupree tosses Mysterio back in the ring, and
Kenzo whips Mysterio into the corner. Mysterio
counters a corner charge. Mysterio follows with a
springboard cross body block. Kenzo is then knocked
into the ropes for the 619, but instead hits Dupree
who jumped on the apron. Mysterio sets Suzuki up again
with a drop toehold, and then hits another 619. Kenzo
is able to recover and almost hits his finisher, but
Mysterio rolls him up and gets the pin.
Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio
Josh Matthews is backstage with JBL. The champ
tells him to shut his pie hole, and then paraphrases
recent U.S. president, "No new champions!" JBL goes on
and on about his win. JBL then goes off about Hardcore
Holly. The champ then tries to get a JBL chant going.
Match #2 - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore
Holly
JBL is sporting a huge bandage on his forehead
from his match at No Mercy. JBL jumps from the ring,
and runs from Holly, only to jump him as he tries to
re-enter the ring. Holly immediately goes after the
open wound on JBL's forehead. The champ lands a
clubbing blow on Holly and slows him down. Holly gets
JBL in the corner and hits a series of chest chops.
Holly follows with a boot to the forehead. JBL catches
Hardcore in midair and then nails a fall away slam.
Holly is tossed from the ring, and JBL bounces
Hardcore's head off the announce table. Holly recovers
and whips JBL into the steps. JBL is rolled back in
the ring, buy Holly can't get the pin. Hardcore then
hits a vertical suplex. JBL responds with a thumb to
the eye, and then a neck breaker. Orlando Jordan
makes his way to the ring, and hangs out on the
outside. Holly hits a standing drop kick, but still
cannot get the pin. Hardcore follows with a snap
suplex, and then a flying elbow off the top rope.
Hardcore then ducks a Clothesline from Hell, and hits
the Alabama Slam. JBL rolls from the ring and heads
the back, as Orlando Jordan contains Hardcore Holly.
Holly picks up a win as JBL is counted out.
Winner via count out: Hardcore Holly
Chavo Guerrero returns in two weeks. Be there!
Paul Heyman is approached by Teddy Long. The GM is
very upset, but tells Heyman that The Undertaker was
not in the hearse when they opened it up. Heyman looks
a little worried that no one was in the car. Long
tells Heyman that Heidenreich will not be suspended or
fired, because 'Taker with take care of his business.
Heyman tells Long that his client isn't afraid; in
fact he's going to read poetry in the ring tonight.
It's that time again. It's time for the RAW
rebound, read all about it here, in Nick Tylwalk's
report.
In the locker room, Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, and
Mark Jindrak discuss the match at No Mercy. Angle says
he would take on the Big Show tonight, if the doctors
would let him. Instead, Angle will be at ringside when
Jindrak faces Show, tonight.
Teddy Long greets us after the break to announce
JBL versus Hardcore Holly next week for the WWE Title.
Oh, it's also a hardcore match.
Match #3 - The Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak
Kurt Angle joins the crew at the announce table.
Angle doesn't say a word, and just stares straight
ahead. Show wastes no time, slamming Jindrak, and then
nailing him with a head butt. Show stands on Jindrak's
neck in the corner. Big Show slams Jindrak again,
picks him up, and clotheslines him to the mat. Big
Show makes a beeline to Angle, but Kurt just sits in
his chair. Jindrak is able to drop kick Show off the
apron, and then throws him into the steps at ringside.
Jindrak tries to get in so more offense, but the Big
Show just shoves him away. Jindrak tries a hammerlock,
but Show counters. Show then tosses Jindrak out of
the ring. Luther Reigns tries to interfere, but Eddie
Guerrero stops him. Angle goes after Show with a steel
chair, but Show cuts him off with a big boot. Jindrak
is then choke slammed and covered for the pin.
Winner via pin fall: The Big Show
Josh Matthews interviews Carlito Caribbean Cool. I
got it; this guy is a cheap Rock knock-off. You know,
like the Rolexes you can buy on the street in New
York. Any Carlito talks about being disrespected.
Match #4 - Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas w/
Miss Jackie
Haas locks up with Kidman, and works over Kidman
with an arm bar. Haas then hits a fireman's carry and
an arm drag. Kidman forces Haas into the ropes, and
the hits a snap mare, and drives his knee into Haas's
back. Haas catches Kidman coming across the ring, and
hits him with a suplex. Haas hits a forearm off the
top rope. Haas then charges Kidman in the corner, but
gets kicked in the face. Kidman goes up for the
shooting star press, but Miss Jackie jumps in and
covers her man. Kidman comes down, and Miss Jackie
attempts to slap him. Kidman instead hits her with the
BK bomb. Haas is drop kicked from the ring, and then
the referee is knocked out. Kidman then drags Miss
Jackie to the corner, and climbs the rope. He decides
not to hit the Shooting Star Press, and walks to the
back, as Rico and paramedics come to Miss Jackie's
aid.
Winner via DQ: Charlie Haas
Orlando Jordan, running errands for JBL, runs into
Booker T. Jordan acts like they are friends, but
Booker T wants no part of him. Booker then breaks out
"Can you dig that ... Sucka!" on him.
Heidenreich makes his way to the ring, and Cole is
ready to head for the hills. Heidenreich has some more
poetry to share with us, and somewhere Lord Byron is
spinning in his grave. The crowd boos Heidenreich out
of the ring, but it doesn't stop him from jumping the
barrier and attacking three 'fans' in the crowd.
Match #5 - John Cena vs. Carlito Caribbean
Cool - U.S. Title Match
Cena is all business, chasing Carlito from the
ring. When the bell rings Cena wastes no time, chasing
Carlito to the floor, and laying him out with a
clothesline, and then bouncing his head off the steps.
Carlito is whipped into the corner and bounces off the
turnbuckle. The champ follows up with a delayed
vertical suplex. Cena then dominates with a back body
drop, but Cena cannot get the pin. Carlito then runs
into a side slam, but is able to kick out of the pin.
Cena then kicks Carlito out of the ring. Cena grabs
Carlito on the outside, and tosses him into the steps.
Carlito is able to hang onto the ropes, and then low
bridges Cena as he charges. Carlito attacks Cena on
the outside, slamming his head off the announce table.
Both men make their way back into the ring. Cena fires
back with right hands, and the fights spills outside,
again. Carlito rakes Cena eyes, but Cena counters a
power bomb, and slingshots the rookie into the crowd.
We return from the break to find Cena beating on
Carlito in the corner. Carlito rolls away from a
flying cross body block. The challenger hits a
swinging neck breaker, and then mounts Cena, going to
work with right fists to the face. Cena is shot off
the ropes, and takes an elbow to the jaw. Carlito
follows up with a suplex, and pin. Cena kicks out, but
Carlito drops on elbow. He then locks in a sleeper on
the champ. Cena fights out of the hold, and then
counters a DDT attempts with a back body drop. Cena
and Carlito trade blows. Cena whips Carlito off the
ropes and takes him down with an elbow. Cena follows
with a bulldog, and then the five-knuckle shuffle.
Cena pumps it up, and sets up Carlito for the F-U.
Carlito grabs the ropes, and breaks up the move. The
challenger grabs the belt, and brings it into the
ring. Cena grabs the belt, and Carlito is knocked into
the corner. The ref takes the belt, but Carlito grabs
Cena steel chain. Cena takes a shot from the chain and
is knocked out. Carlito covers for the win and the
title.
Winner via pin fall and new U.S. Champion:
Carlito Caribbean Cool
Carlito stands over Cena, taunting him as the show
goes off the air.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale is proud that he has now
made a reference to a 19th century poet in three
consecutive weeks. Dale is happy that all those
literature classes in high school and college are
finally paying off.