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Raw: Orton win right to fight Tuesday
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


The honeymoon may be over for Kane and Lita, but it has just started for Nick Tylwalk and his wife, which is why your intrepid Smackdown! reporter is (late) filling in. Plus, this is a really cheap wedding gift.

RAW comes to us live from the Kemper Arena in Kansas City, Missouri. J.R. and the King let General Manager Eric Bischoff kick off the show. Bischoff address the new Pay-Per-View Taboo Tuesday, saying that it is wrong that the fans will have the power to book matches. Well, they can't do any worse than the writers of the show. Bischoff gives us the four choices to face Triple H: Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Randy Orton. One question? Can we also book the finish? But for Orton to qualify as a choice he has to defeat Batista in a no DQ match. The champ comes to the ring, and I guess he didn't get the inter-office memo about Taboo Tuesday. HHH is none too happy that the fans will choose his opponent. Which brings us to the quote of the night, "I don't come to your job and tell you what to do!" Trips goes on to say that it doesn't matter who he faces. The champ then guarantees a win, no matter whom he faces. HHH then offers some more choice to the fans, but Shelton Benjamin interrupts The Game. Benji snatches the mike from HHH, and offers him some choice: quit your whining, quit your complaining, stop crying, or let's get it on, right now. Bischoff opposes the match, until HHH hits Benji with a cheap shot, and the GM calls for the bell and a ref.

Match #1 - Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Benji recovers from the cheap shot, and fights HHH into the corner. He then whips the champ across the ring, but misses the splash in the corner. HHH then tosses Benjamin shoulder first into the ring post. After the break, we return to find both men trading blows in the ring. HHH breaks it up with an arm bar take down, and a cover. Benji promptly kicks out. Benji breaks out of an armbar, but HHH keeps working the injured shoulder. Triple H tries to go up top, but Benji arm drags him off the top rope. Both men rise after an eight count, and trade right hands, until Benji hits a spinning heel kick. He the follows up with a back body drop, and hits a northern lights suplex for a two count. Shelton keeps the pressure on with a power slam, which gets two. HHH counters and tries to hit the pedigree, but Shelton counters, and then follows with a bulldog. After another cover for two, HHH is hit with a splash in the corner. HHH spills out to the floor, and Benjamin follows, slamming the champ into the steps. HHH grabs his title and nails Benjamin with it, getting himself DQ'ed.

Winner via DQ: Shelton Benjamin

The bell doesn't stop HHH from beating on Benjamin. HHH knocks out the ref, who was just trying to stop the madness. J.R. calls for a fine. Benjamin is then pedigreed on the outside.

What the (bleep) is the 'Simon System'? I almost thought this was a real commercial, so I will give props to the production department. That wasn't a real commercial, was it? I'm confused.

Match #2 - Hurricane and Rosey vs. Rhyno and Tajiri

It's the Smackdown! reunion tour for me. First Benjamin, and now Rhyno! Rosey squares off with the Man Beast, and Rhyno ends up on the losing end of a shoulder block. Rhyno finally takes down Rosey, but the big man doesn't stay down long. Rosey knocks Rhyno to the mat, and tags in Hurricane. A flying body press gets cover, but Tajiri breaks it up. Rhyno uses the distraction to pick up Hurricane, and drop him with a press slam. Tajiri tags in, and is able to lock in the tarantula. Rosey breaks the hold. Rhyno jumps in the ring, but Hurricane is able to side step a Gore attempt. Rosey then makes a blind tag, and power slam Tajiri, and is able to cover for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Hurricane and Rosey

We see the footage of Lita and Kane from last weeks. I don't know who Gene Snitzky is, but I have a feeling he won't be around long. If anyone is shocked that she 'lost' the baby, ask yourself this--Could WWE writers actually stretch this storyline out nine months? Kane is interviewed, telling a Josh Matthews wanna be, that Lita is still in shock, and now they don't share anything anymore. Kane then informs us that the baby was a boy. But Kane's unborn son won't die alone, as the Big Red Machine vows that Snitzky is a dead man.

It's the Smackdown rebound. If you missed it read my report here. I'm sorry; I know that JBL is my champ, but Smackdown! is a better show, from a wrestling standpoint. Wait, I take it back. I forgot about the tranquilizer dart.

Benoit is backstage talking with William Regal, until Eugene interrupts with scissors. Regal makes sure the boy doesn't cut himself, and then goes to talk to Bischoff.

Match #3 - Gene Snitzky vs. Val Venis - Handicap Match

In an earlier interview, Snitzky says he's sorry Lita lost the baby, but it's not his fault. Snitz goes to work on Venis, pounding and kicking him in the corner. Venis shows no offense versus the new kid, but I have a feeling he's just waiting for Kane to show up, but Kane isn't in the house. Venis knocks Snitz to the mat, and goes up top for the money shot. Snitz rolls away, and Val hits nothing. Snitz picks up Venis, and drops him with a side slam. Snitzky covers and picks up a win.

Winner via pin fall: Gene Snitzky

Wrestlemania 21 tickets went on sale, and sold out in one minute. I don't quite buy that; do the math. That would mean over 400 tickets were sold, every second. I don't think so.

The Nature Boy walks to the ring, in a suit. Flair has a problem with Randy Orton, the use of the word great, and the use of the word Legend. He tells Orton he is great, but he is no legend killer. Flair wants to know what legend he killed. Be careful Ric, you may be the answer. Flair says he is the only legend. And this is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Flair tells Orton he won't become a legend until he beats him. Cue Orton. The 'legend killer' makes his way to the ring. Orton tells Flair he is the greatest legend this biz has ever seen. Orton says he idolized and looked up to Flair as a kid. Orton tells Flair he learned a lot from him. But Orton thinks Flair is full of it, especially for saying that HHH is the best wrestler alive today. Orton tells Flair is now a lapdog of HHH, a glorified cheerleader. Orton tells Flair only one person can save his legacy; Flair is the only one that can save Flair.

Match #4 - Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho vs. Tyson Tomko and Christian

All four men fight outside the ring, Tomko and HBK eventually find their way to the ring, and the match starts. Christian tags in, and works over HBK. Tomko comes back in, but HBK is able to counter with chops, and then tags in Y2J. Jericho takes down Tomko with a missile drop kick. Jericho showboats too much, but ducks a clothesline, and then HBK and Jericho double team Tomko, knocking him out of the ring. Christian tries to intervene, but is flapjacked for his efforts. We come back from break, with Tomko pinned. He kicks out, and tags in Christian. He goes to work on Y2J, chocking him on the ropes, and then on the mat. Tomko tags back in, and is almost pinned after Y2J counters with a roll-up. Christian runs across the ring to knock HBK off the ring apron, preventing Jericho from tagging out. Jericho powers out of a front face lock, but is stopped with a low kick. Tomko returns and corners Y2J. Jericho is able to side step a corner charge, and then lays out Tomko with an enzugiri. HBK tags in and cleans house. Both Tomko and Christian are hit with inverted atomic drops. Christian recovers enough to throw HBK into the ring post, but cannot hit the unprettier, as Y2J breaks it up. HBK hits sweet chin music on Tomko, but is rolled up from behind by Christian for a three count.

Winner via pin fall: Tyson Tomko and Christian

HHH is backstage firing up Batista. I don't think the big guy needs any more motivation. He wants to show Orton that Batista is the future. Batista tells HHH that Orton will not get a title shot.

William Regal and Eugene are in the ring with three volunteers. Regal wants to help Eugene understand the choices of stipulations. The first guy is a butler, as one stip is who ever loses has to be the other's servant. The second guy is wearing a dress. This illustrates the loser having to dress as a woman. The third guy, who looks a lot like Jeremy Roenick, I swear, is seated in a barber's chair. The loser gets his head shaved, and this guy is about to get a free haircut. Bischoff interrupts, saying no one wants to see this. Eric has had it, and tells Eugene that he will not shave his head. In fact, Eugene won't win, because he has his work cut out for him. And during his tirade, Bischoff takes a cheap shot at the third volunteer.

Footage from the Taboo Tuesday press conference. This whole thing reeks of desperation.

Trish Stratus heads to ring with Molly and Gail Kim for Christy's initiation. I wonder if she'll be getting a beat down? Christy snatches the mike from Trish, and thanks the crowd for allowing her to win. Trish thinks her words were sweet, and also thanks who ever she slept with to make the finals. Trish then asks Carmella to share her thoughts, yes, that Carmella. She talks so much trash'somebody's bitter. Carmella then flaunts the fact that she is Playmate of the Year. Sweetheart, that's the only reason you are on TV. Carmella wraps up her crying, and then Trish decides on her initiation. It's a match -- a handicap match, versus Trish, Gail, and Molly, and it's a bra and panty match, and it starts now.

Match #5 - Christy vs. Gail Kim, Molly, and Trish Stratus - 3 on 1 Bra and Panties Match

Christy gets a good slap in on Trish, before getting held down by Gail and Molly. Trish strips her down to win.

Winner via strip: Gail Kim, Molly, and Trish Stratus

After the match, Christy says she isn't embarrassed. In fact she's completely comfortable in nothing but a bra and panties. And I'm comfortable with her in nothing but a bra and panties.

Ric Flair is deep in thought when Batista asks him if he is ready. Flair tells him he'll come down to the ring when he is good and ready.

Match #6 - Randy Orton vs. Batista - No Disqualification

Batista whips Orton across the ring. Orton responds with a Thesz press coming off the ropes. The fight spills to the floor, where Batista drives Orton into the security barrier. Orton is then tossed into the steel steps. Orton is getting it handed to him outside the ring, and he doesn't fare much better in the ring. Batista wears Orton down in the corner. Orton responds with right, but a side slam stops him dead in his tracks. Batista chokes Orton on the bottom rope, and then gives him a forearm shiver to the back of the head. Orton bounces of the ropes, and fires back with a forearm. Orton ducks a clothesline, and hits a dropkick. Orton stops dead when HHH walk down the ramp. HHH then breaks a pin fall, and lands a series of punches. Orton turns the tide, and hammers HHH. Orton turns his attention back to Batista, but is hit with a DDT from HHH. With Orton still down, HHH grabs a chair. Ric Flair joins the fun, taking the chair from HHH. Orton rises, only to get a low blow from Flair, and then a chair shot in the back. Batista finishes Orton off with a power bomb, and gets the pin. Orton now cannot face HHH at Taboo Tuesday.

Winner via : Batista

HHH sits over Orton with the belt, and all three men taunt Orton and celebrate in the ring, as the show goes off the air.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale and the rest of the SLAM! Wrestling staff would like to congratulate and send their best wishes to Nick and wife Diane on their recent nuptials. Here's to hoping their marriage will go better then the Kane-Lita affair.