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Raw: Orton win right to fight Tuesday
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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The honeymoon may be over for Kane and Lita, but
it has just started for Nick Tylwalk and his wife,
which is why your intrepid Smackdown! reporter is (late)
filling in. Plus, this is a really cheap wedding gift.
RAW comes to us live from the Kemper Arena in
Kansas City, Missouri. J.R. and the King let General
Manager Eric Bischoff kick off the show. Bischoff
address the new Pay-Per-View Taboo Tuesday, saying
that it is wrong that the fans will have the power to
book matches. Well, they can't do any worse than the
writers of the show. Bischoff gives us the four
choices to face Triple H: Shawn Michaels, Chris
Benoit, Edge, and Randy Orton. One question? Can we
also book the finish? But for Orton to qualify as a
choice he has to defeat Batista in a no DQ match. The
champ comes to the ring, and I guess he didn't get the
inter-office memo about Taboo Tuesday. HHH is none too
happy that the fans will choose his opponent. Which
brings us to the quote of the night, "I don't come to
your job and tell you what to do!" Trips goes on to
say that it doesn't matter who he faces. The champ
then guarantees a win, no matter whom he faces. HHH
then offers some more choice to the fans, but Shelton
Benjamin interrupts The Game. Benji snatches the mike
from HHH, and offers him some choice: quit your
whining, quit your complaining, stop crying, or let's
get it on, right now. Bischoff opposes the match,
until HHH hits Benji with a cheap shot, and the GM
calls for the bell and a ref.
Match #1 - Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH
Benji recovers from the cheap shot, and fights HHH
into the corner. He then whips the champ across the
ring, but misses the splash in the corner. HHH then
tosses Benjamin shoulder first into the ring post.
After the break, we return to find both men trading
blows in the ring. HHH breaks it up with an arm bar
take down, and a cover. Benji promptly kicks out.
Benji breaks out of an armbar, but HHH keeps working
the injured shoulder. Triple H tries to go up top, but
Benji arm drags him off the top rope. Both men rise
after an eight count, and trade right hands, until
Benji hits a spinning heel kick. He the follows up
with a back body drop, and hits a northern lights
suplex for a two count. Shelton keeps the pressure on
with a power slam, which gets two. HHH counters and
tries to hit the pedigree, but Shelton counters, and
then follows with a bulldog. After another cover for
two, HHH is hit with a splash in the corner. HHH
spills out to the floor, and Benjamin follows,
slamming the champ into the steps. HHH grabs his title
and nails Benjamin with it, getting himself DQ'ed.
Winner via DQ: Shelton Benjamin
The bell doesn't stop HHH from beating on
Benjamin. HHH knocks out the ref, who was just trying
to stop the madness. J.R. calls for a fine. Benjamin is
then pedigreed on the outside.
What the (bleep) is the 'Simon System'? I almost
thought this was a real commercial, so I will give
props to the production department. That wasn't a real
commercial, was it? I'm confused.
Match #2 - Hurricane and Rosey vs. Rhyno and
Tajiri
It's the Smackdown! reunion tour for me. First
Benjamin, and now Rhyno! Rosey squares off with the
Man Beast, and Rhyno ends up on the losing end of a
shoulder block. Rhyno finally takes down Rosey, but
the big man doesn't stay down long. Rosey knocks Rhyno
to the mat, and tags in Hurricane. A flying body press
gets cover, but Tajiri breaks it up. Rhyno uses the
distraction to pick up Hurricane, and drop him with a
press slam. Tajiri tags in, and is able to lock in the
tarantula. Rosey breaks the hold. Rhyno jumps in the
ring, but Hurricane is able to side step a Gore
attempt. Rosey then makes a blind tag, and power slam
Tajiri, and is able to cover for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Hurricane and Rosey
We see the footage of Lita and Kane from last
weeks. I don't know who Gene Snitzky is, but I have a
feeling he won't be around long. If anyone is shocked
that she 'lost' the baby, ask yourself this--Could WWE
writers actually stretch this storyline out nine
months? Kane is interviewed, telling a Josh Matthews
wanna be, that Lita is still in shock, and now they
don't share anything anymore. Kane then informs us
that the baby was a boy. But Kane's unborn son won't
die alone, as the Big Red Machine vows that Snitzky is
a dead man.
It's the Smackdown rebound. If you missed it read
my report here. I'm sorry; I know that JBL is my
champ, but Smackdown! is a better show, from a
wrestling standpoint. Wait, I take it back. I forgot
about the tranquilizer dart.
Benoit is backstage talking with William Regal,
until Eugene interrupts with scissors. Regal makes
sure the boy doesn't cut himself, and then goes to
talk to Bischoff.
Match #3 - Gene Snitzky vs. Val Venis -
Handicap Match
In an earlier interview, Snitzky says he's sorry
Lita lost the baby, but it's not his fault. Snitz goes
to work on Venis, pounding and kicking him in the
corner. Venis shows no offense versus the new kid, but
I have a feeling he's just waiting for Kane to show
up, but Kane isn't in the house. Venis knocks Snitz to
the mat, and goes up top for the money shot. Snitz
rolls away, and Val hits nothing. Snitz picks up
Venis, and drops him with a side slam. Snitzky covers
and picks up a win.
Winner via pin fall: Gene Snitzky
Wrestlemania 21 tickets went on sale, and sold out
in one minute. I don't quite buy that; do the math.
That would mean over 400 tickets were sold, every
second. I don't think so.
The Nature Boy walks to the ring, in a suit. Flair
has a problem with Randy Orton, the use of the word
great, and the use of the word Legend. He tells Orton
he is great, but he is no legend killer. Flair wants
to know what legend he killed. Be careful Ric, you
may be the answer. Flair says he is the only legend.
And this is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Flair
tells Orton he won't become a legend until he beats
him. Cue Orton. The 'legend killer' makes his way to
the ring. Orton tells Flair he is the greatest legend
this biz has ever seen. Orton says he idolized and
looked up to Flair as a kid. Orton tells Flair he
learned a lot from him. But Orton thinks Flair is full
of it, especially for saying that HHH is the best
wrestler alive today. Orton tells Flair is now a
lapdog of HHH, a glorified cheerleader. Orton tells
Flair only one person can save his legacy; Flair is
the only one that can save Flair.
Match #4 - Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho
vs. Tyson Tomko and Christian
All four men fight outside the ring, Tomko and HBK
eventually find their way to the ring, and the match
starts. Christian tags in, and works over HBK. Tomko
comes back in, but HBK is able to counter with chops,
and then tags in Y2J. Jericho takes down Tomko with a
missile drop kick. Jericho showboats too much, but
ducks a clothesline, and then HBK and Jericho double
team Tomko, knocking him out of the ring. Christian
tries to intervene, but is flapjacked for his efforts.
We come back from break, with Tomko pinned. He kicks
out, and tags in Christian. He goes to work on Y2J,
chocking him on the ropes, and then on the mat. Tomko
tags back in, and is almost pinned after Y2J counters
with a roll-up. Christian runs across the ring to
knock HBK off the ring apron, preventing Jericho from
tagging out. Jericho powers out of a front face lock,
but is stopped with a low kick. Tomko returns and
corners Y2J. Jericho is able to side step a corner
charge, and then lays out Tomko with an enzugiri. HBK
tags in and cleans house. Both Tomko and Christian are
hit with inverted atomic drops. Christian recovers
enough to throw HBK into the ring post, but cannot hit
the unprettier, as Y2J breaks it up. HBK hits sweet
chin music on Tomko, but is rolled up from behind by
Christian for a three count.
Winner via pin fall: Tyson Tomko and Christian
HHH is backstage firing up Batista. I don't think
the big guy needs any more motivation. He wants to
show Orton that Batista is the future. Batista tells
HHH that Orton will not get a title shot.
William Regal and Eugene are in the ring with
three volunteers. Regal wants to help Eugene
understand the choices of stipulations. The first guy
is a butler, as one stip is who ever loses has to be
the other's servant. The second guy is wearing a dress.
This illustrates the loser having to dress as a woman.
The third guy, who looks a lot like Jeremy Roenick, I
swear, is seated in a barber's chair. The loser gets
his head shaved, and this guy is about to get a free
haircut. Bischoff interrupts, saying no one wants to
see this. Eric has had it, and tells Eugene that he
will not shave his head. In fact, Eugene won't win,
because he has his work cut out for him. And during
his tirade, Bischoff takes a cheap shot at the third
volunteer.
Footage from the Taboo Tuesday press conference.
This whole thing reeks of desperation.
Trish Stratus heads to ring with Molly and Gail
Kim for Christy's initiation. I wonder if she'll be
getting a beat down? Christy snatches the mike from
Trish, and thanks the crowd for allowing her to win.
Trish thinks her words were sweet, and also thanks who
ever she slept with to make the finals. Trish then
asks Carmella to share her thoughts, yes, that
Carmella. She talks so much trash'somebody's bitter.
Carmella then flaunts the fact that she is Playmate of
the Year. Sweetheart, that's the only reason you are
on TV. Carmella wraps up her crying, and then Trish
decides on her initiation. It's a match -- a handicap
match, versus Trish, Gail, and Molly, and it's a bra
and panty match, and it starts now.
Match #5 - Christy vs. Gail Kim, Molly, and
Trish Stratus - 3 on 1 Bra and Panties Match
Christy gets a good slap in on Trish, before
getting held down by Gail and Molly. Trish strips her
down to win.
Winner via strip: Gail Kim, Molly, and Trish
Stratus
After the match, Christy says she isn't
embarrassed. In fact she's completely comfortable in
nothing but a bra and panties. And I'm comfortable
with her in nothing but a bra and panties.
Ric Flair is deep in thought when Batista asks
him if he is ready. Flair tells him he'll come down to
the ring when he is good and ready.
Match #6 - Randy Orton vs. Batista - No
Disqualification
Batista whips Orton across the ring. Orton
responds with a Thesz press coming off the ropes. The
fight spills to the floor, where Batista drives Orton
into the security barrier. Orton is then tossed into
the steel steps. Orton is getting it handed to him
outside the ring, and he doesn't fare much better in
the ring. Batista wears Orton down in the corner.
Orton responds with right, but a side slam stops him
dead in his tracks. Batista chokes Orton on the bottom
rope, and then gives him a forearm shiver to the back
of the head. Orton bounces of the ropes, and fires
back with a forearm. Orton ducks a clothesline, and
hits a dropkick. Orton stops dead when HHH walk down
the ramp. HHH then breaks a pin fall, and lands a
series of punches. Orton turns the tide, and hammers
HHH. Orton turns his attention back to Batista, but is
hit with a DDT from HHH. With Orton still down, HHH
grabs a chair. Ric Flair joins the fun, taking the
chair from HHH. Orton rises, only to get a low blow
from Flair, and then a chair shot in the back. Batista
finishes Orton off with a power bomb, and gets the
pin. Orton now cannot face HHH at Taboo Tuesday.
Winner via : Batista
HHH sits over Orton with the belt, and all three
men taunt Orton and celebrate in the ring, as the show
goes off the air.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale and the rest of the SLAM!
Wrestling staff would like to congratulate and send
their best wishes to Nick and wife Diane on their recent
nuptials. Here's to hoping their marriage will go
better then the Kane-Lita affair.
