In his poem, The Hollow Men, T.S. Eliot wrote "This is the way the world ends/Not with a bang but a whimper." This sums up both our final weekly TNA report and the show itself. Follow along faithful reader as Jaya Roopansingh tries to piece together what all went down...
Mikey Batts & Jerrelle Clark won a six-way X division tag team match up against Team Canada's Petey Williams & Johnny Devine, Shark Boy & D-Ray 3000, Frankie Kazarian & Michael Shane, Delirious & Sonjay Dutt and Chris Sabin & Amazing Red.
This was an elimination style match but by individual wrestlers instead of by teams. In other words, it was the survivor series finally done right. First out, Williams. Delirious was next. Sabin, Batts, Shark Boy, Shane, Red, Dutt and Devine were eventually eliminated, leaving, Clark and Kazarian. This is when the good old survivor type match comes to an end. Their respective partners were brought back and it turned into a tag match. Shane hit a superkick on Clark, however Batts pinned him from behind. Didn't WCW always start off every show with the high flyers in tag matches right before the show died?
Erik Watts, Sonny Siaki & Desire beat Alex Shelley, Abyss & Goldilocks.
Abyss went to choke slam Desire, but Georgie Watts came out and told Abyss not to. Abyss grabs Goldilocks. After all three women plead with the monster, Goldilocks finally got what she deserved, which was a backbreaker and being pinned by Desire. They finally decide to get the women involved in a match but only when they decided to cancel the show. Plus, a man still had to do the finish with the women.
A.J. Styles beat Kid Kash in a best of three tables match.
Kash gave Styles a German suplex after a low blow. The table didn't break, so Kash had to slam Styles through the table. AJ did a springboard off the ropes that knocked Kash into a table which made them even at one table a piece. In the end, Dallas comes out but hits Kash instead. While Kash is on the table, Styles knocks him through, coming out the winner and setting up something for Kash and Dallas in the future. Petey Williams came out after the match. Kash and Williams beat on Styles until 3 Live Kru made the save.
Dusty Rhodes pinned Scott D'Amore.
Rhodes pinned D'Amore after an elbow drop. Team Canada came out and attacked Rhodes. Vince Russo came out with a baseball bat but didn't make a heel turn. It ended with Russo and D'Amore in a confrontation. I can't imagine how good a match between these two could have possibly been.
Chris Harris & Prime Time beat the Naturals
Due to James Storm's injury, the Naturals were set to face only Triple X. Earlier that night, they attacked Christopher Daniels' bad shoulder. Because of this Chris Harris & Prime Time tagged up to meet Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens. At one point Skipper walked out and the Naturals double-teamed Harris. Skipper eventually came back. Harris ended up pinning Stevens after the spear.
Jeff Jarrett beat Jeff Hardy
Surprise, Jeff Jarrett is still NWA champion. Who really didn't know that was going to happen? Monty Brown, Abyss, Dusty Rhodes and Raven were all watching at ringside. Jeff Hardy tried to hit Jarrett with the chair but got the ref instead. Hardy hit the swanton but Jarrett kicked out. Jarrett hit the Stroke but Hardy kicked out. Jarrett punched Rhodes. Russo came out with a bat and he and Rhodes had a shoving match again. Hardy grabbed the bat but Russo got it back from Hardy. Jarrett got the guitar shot and the pin to retain the title.
I hope that wasn't the final show, though the early word on the 'Net is that it wasn't too great of a show. It seems like a long time until November for another PPV.
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Jaya Roopansingh is a Toronto-based writer and fashion consultant. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.