heartbroken? Also tonight, Randy Orton will seek revenge on his former friends, Evolution, and Chris Jericho will vie for the IC strap when he takes on, Edge. Without any further mumbo jumbo from me, let's get right down to business." />

 

SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   Tue, August 24, 2004



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

SHIMMER tapings


Alexia Nicole


Ox Baker


BCW Excellence


WWE in Montreal


ROH Unauthorized


Smackdown in Philadelphia







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





Raw: We're going to the chapel
By CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling


Here comes the bride, all dressed in ... red? Yes, tonight live, "In this very ring", Kane will marry Lita. Will their wedding night be a wonderful one? Or will Kane end up, heartbroken? *Think about the highlighted word.* Also tonight, Randy Orton will seek revenge on his former friends, Evolution, and Chris Jericho will vie for the IC strap when he takes on, Edge. Without any further mumbo jumbo from me, let's get right down to business.

WWE Raw 8-23-04 Anaheim, CA

We start the show off with a recap of last week. Randy Orton got a tushy kickin'. Will he exact revenge or fall short? We'll find out tonight!

The Coach is in the ring and out come the Raw Diva Contestants. I am making a bold prediction, I pick Carmella to win. Let's find out who's going home tonight, right now, take it away Coach. Traci has been eliminated! Boo hoo for you. Each Diva gets two minutes to tell The Coach how great he is. Wait, let's make it five minutes says The Coach. "IF YA SMELLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!" Out comes The Great One. I should've known, I mean they're in California. This should be good, let's listen to, The Rock. "ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!" The Rock tells The Coach he has five seconds to get out of the ring, or The Rock is gonna kick his a double crooked letter. Coach gets out with one second remaining. "FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO ANAHEIM!" The Rock says all the Divas are looking beautiful. The Rock hits on them in Rock fashion, which is always entertaining. The Rock asks who Carmella is. He tells her the rest of the Divas don't like her. He said that they both have something in common - when The Rock first came to WWF, nobody wanted him. He told her to stick it out. He asks her what she thinks. She goes to reply, "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" The Rock didn't like the whole Ice Cream bit from the other week, who did? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO DID! I had to. Anyway, Tajiri brings out pie for the ladies to eat. Rock points to a rowdy fan and says that "He's drunk." That gets a round of laughs. The Rock states that they "Have good weed in Anaheim." Rock asks Tajiri what his favorite kind of pie is? "Poontang pie." Rock wants to know what Poontang Pie is. Now it's time for the Divas to eat pie. Joy is booed, Amy starts licking, which triggers a crowd reaction, Carmella starts rubbing herself with it, Maria licks it off her nose, Christy says "My butt is hungry, it's been munching my panties all night long." So she sits in pie. Out come Coach and La Resistance. Coach says that The Rock show is over. The Rock has embarassed The Coach one time too many. La Resistance charge the ring, they had been emabarassed by Rock back in December, Tajiri and Rock are taken down, Coach slaps Rock, two on one, La Resistance beat on Rock. Rhyno is here ... GORE! La Resistance get beaten out of the ring three on two. Coach is left with the good guys, Coach charges Rock and gets Spinebuster'ed. PEOPLE'S ELBOW! The Rock takes off. It was pretty pointless to spend all that time on the segment, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Nice to see The Rock.

We see Kane arriving, whistling the Here Comes The Bride song.

We go back to Randy Orton getting his backside whupped from last week. HHH plays an awesome heel.

Evolution is shown backstage talking about Randy Orton answering their ultimatum. HHH also says that Randy is no longer in charge of his destiny.

We then go to Lita. Will we have a match tonight? Kane walks in and says that he couldn't help, but look at his bride before the wedding. Kane tells Lita he wants her to wear the gown he bought her. Kane says "It's a nice day for a white wedding."

WWE Slam of the Week- Clip from last week features Flair and Batista beating on Jericho, Edge comes out and walks away.

Match One-WWE Intercontinental Championship Match-Chris Jericho vs (C) Edge

Lock up, arm drag take down and a hammerlock by Y2J. Waist lock on Edge, armdrag takedown and an armbar by Y2J. Punches to the head of Jericho. Y2J sent to ropes, stops and he challenges Edge who goes over the top rope, springboard dropkick by Y2J.

We come back from commercial and Edge has a head lock on Y2J. Jericho comes back and takes down Edge. Jericho starts punching Edge. They exchange fists. Edge sent to the buckles. Jericho goes to the top rope, reverse elbow off the top, but he can only get a two count. Hurricanrana by Jericho for a two count. Punches and a head to the turnbuckle by Jericho. Edge comes back with a DDT on Jericho, twooooooooo. Jericho dodges a spear, Edge stops before he hits the ref. Walls of Jericho reversed into a roll-up for the three. EXCEPT, Jericho's foot and leg was on the rope the entire time. The ref starts talking to Edge and sends him back.

The IC Title match has been restarted. Jericho puts his foot across the throat of Edge. Jericho is taken down. Shoulderblock and a running inseguri by Jericho. Bulldog takedown by Y2J. Lionsault missed. Takedown for a two count by Jericho. Edge elbows Jericho, takes him down, two. Forearm to Jericho. Jericho sent over the ropes, hangs on, gets speared into the security wall. Edge is on the top rope, flying crossbody, roll through for the two count. Walls of Jericho. Edge gets to the ropes. Clubing shots to the back of Edge. Edge reverses and Jericho gets thrown onto the top rope. Ding Ding Ding. Spear to Jericho. Ref has DQ'ed Edge for throwing Jericho onto the top rope. BS match ending.

Winner Via DQ- Chris Jericho

We show Evolution walking down a hallway on their way to the ring.

Evolution comes out. HHH is on the mic. HHH says he doesn't believe life is pre-determined. He says that you make your own choices and that's what determines your destiny. HHH says Randy Orton didn't want to be a loser like his father or grandfather, so he choose to ride with Evolution and he became one of the most dominate men in the business. All Orton was supposed to do was to soften up Benoit for HHH, but instead he decided to win the match. HHH says that title is his and the only person who doesn't know that is Randy Orton. HHH says tonight, Randy Orton can come to the ring and put the title on HHH and they will leave him alone, but if he doesn't, they will make sure he doesn't live. This is a life or death decision according to HHH. It's time for Orton to choose his destiny. Randy Orton does come out, Batista and Flair are on the outside on either side of the ring, while HHH waits in the ring for Orton. HHH says to send a referee to the ring. The ref is in the ring. HHH tells Orton to hand him the Championship Belt. Randy Orton, sticks out the belt and when HHH grabs it, Orton holds on. Randy then spits in HHH's face and hits him in the head with the belt. Flair and Batista rush the ring and Orton gets out of there and leaves through the crowd. I heard some RANDY chants.

We come back to a clips of what had just transfired between "The Legend Killer" and "The Game".

We go backstage to Victoria saying that it's wrong for Bischoff to force Lita to marry Kane. Bischoff says it's going to happen. HHH runs in and grabs Bischoff and asks if he sees the spit in his face. So, at Unforgiven it will be ... World Heavyweight Championship HHH vs (C) Randy Orton.

Match Two- William Regal w/Eugene vs Ric Flair w/ Batista

Didn't I propose this match about two weeks ago? Would've been a nice addition to Summerslam, but heh?

They show a clip of Ric Flair getting the knucks at Summerslam.

Lock up, neck vice on Flair , Flair gets knocked down. Neck vice is locked on Flair. Flair gets out of it. Regal to the buckles, CHOP-WOOOOOOOO-CHOP-WOOOOOOOOOOOO-CHOP-WOOOOOOOOOOO! Reverse, European uppercut by Regal. Backbody drop on Flair. Another European uppercut on Flair. Flair stays up, sputters around and down. THE BEST I TELL YOU! Flair comes back and throws Regal to the outside. Chop to Regal. Backbody drop on the outside by Regal.

We come back, Flair sent to the 'buckles. Elbow to the face of a charging William Regal. Regal gets knocked down and a kneedrop follows. Regal sent to the buckles. Kicks to William Regal. Flair then chokes Regal. Punches to the face of Regal. A little strut by Flair. WOOOOOOOOOO! Two, two count for Flair. Right hand to the face of Regal. Flair stomps on Regal. Chops to Regal. Regal uppercuts back. Punches to Flair. Irish whip and a back drop on Nature Boy. Thumb to the eye of Regal. Flair goes to the top and gets thrown off. Kick and punches to Flair who wanted no more. Suplex on Flair. Regal to the ropes, Batista clubs him behind the ref's back. Figure Four. Eugene comes in hits Batista and helps Regal reverse it. Batista sends Eugene into the ringpost. Benoit comes out and chops away at Batista. Both Flair and Regal put on Brass knucks, Regal hits first and wins.

Winner Via Pinfall- William Regal

HBK returns at Unforgiven promo

Smackdown Rebound- Check out my brother Dale's report on Smackdown, only on SLAM! Wrestling.

We go to Coach who tells us how before he was vicously attacked, we got to see the Divas eat pie. He then gives us the numbers to call and vote for our favorite Diva.

We then go to Lita in a wedding gown looking at a mirror. She then throws a vase at the mirror.

We then show Kane in a white tuxedo. The scariest site of all. He is on his way to the ring which has been transformed into a little chapel, without the actual chapel if that makes sense. Watch, as Lita is about to say "I do.", HHH comes out and shows how he married a drunk Lita at a Vegas chapel. They will be married in their underwear, and HHH will be sent up the river after having too much nookie with Lita, the result of all that nookie the birth of a hand. A frustrated Kane will hire a hooker, aptly named Sammy, who will turn out to be a man. Those fans who followed that and got it I commend you. Those who didn't forget what you've read.

We come back to piano playing, a midget goes down to the ring, a female midget walks down to the ring as the flower girl. The violinist and pianist play Kane's music. Kane steps into the ring. Here Come's The Bride, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, all right I'll stop. Lita has changd into her black gown. The wedding of Kane and Lita, I'd love to see that certificate. There is a man who wants to speak to the bride and groom, Eric Bischoff. He too is decked in a white tuxedo. Eric reads a passage from the Bible. He get's the WHAT? treatment after every sentence. The priest says that even though he doesn't know them personally, he realizes they have a unique relationship. They show a video package of the two of them. The song You're Having My Baby. Thank you WWE crew. The couple decided to write their own vows. Kane goes first, he gets the WHAT? treatment as well. He says that when he first choose her to carry his seed, he thought of her as an instrument, now she's his property. Lita says that she hates Kane and that he is horrible and that she loves, and will always love Matt Hardy. She hopes he has a horrible accident, causing much pain and immediate death. She also hopes he rots in hell. The priest says "That was lovely." Ha Ha. The "Speak now" part comes, going once, going twice, Trish Stratus comes out. Trish says she is not here to stop the wedding. She is decked out in white lingerie. Trish says it's gonna be hard to love Kane, but "Just open your heart, like you opened your legs." COMMENT OF THE NIGHT. Lita takes her out. The I Do's are next. Lita says, "I do." Kane's turn, but it's Matt Hardy on the scene. He comes from behind and assualts Kane. Twist of Fate on the floor. Matt then takes Lita and gets her out of there. A wall of fire comes up and Matt and Lita can't get out. Kane takes out Lita. Matt is then chokeslammed off the stage, through a table. Kane brings her to the ring. "I do." They are now pronounced man and wife and he kisses the bride. YAY! He then carries her away.

The End

All in all, WAY too much talk tonight. There was a lot of setup for the upcoming WWE Unforgiven PPV, though. I guess the lack of matches tonight will be rewarded at the PPV, but who knows. Nice to see WWE not swerve the marriage thing for once, although I wanted HBK tonight, but oh well. Let's hope next week delivers more matches.


Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!


  • Pre-order the new autobiography:
    The Mouth of the South: The Jimmy Hart Story

    Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and is the youngest member of the SLAM! Wrestling staff.