Smackdown! stuck in a rut

Smackdown! stuck in a rut

By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling

Remember when pay-per-views used to wrap up feuds? Well, SummerSlam didn't accomplish any of that. Undertaker will still be feuding with Undertaker, the Dudleyz will still try to get their tag team championship back, and John Cena still has matches with Booker T. Okay. Maybe that last one is a bad example. Michael Cole and Tazz bring us all the Smackdown! Excitement from Hamilton, Ontario.

Reigning WWE champion John Bradshaw Layfield starts off the show, and shocks everyone by sporting a neck brace/harness as he gets out of his limo. Bradshaw walks to the ring cautiously, with help from his Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan. Once in the ring, JBL addresses the crowd, announcing he is great pain. JBL heels on Canada, and the Canadian health care system. Jordan grabs the mike and tells the hostile Canadian crowd to show some respect. JBL says he had a dream, that dream was beating the Undertaker 1-2-3 for the greatest victory in his career. Bradshaw then shows footage of his SummerSlam match with �Taker. Bradshaw narrates the still photomontage. And now this is turning into the segment that never ends. Finally, Bradshaw announces that the Undertaker will not get a rematch. Cue the bells. Enter the Dead Man. JBL and Jordan freak out, as the Undertaker strides to the ring. Jordan grabs a chair preparing to defend his boss. JBL rolls out of the ring, and tries to escape through the crowd. Looks like JBL forget something. Undertaker grabs the title belt, and stands in the ring, as the champ makes his way through the crowd.

Match #1 - Spike Dudley vs. Scotty II Hotty - Cruiserweight Title Match

Spike comes to the with his older brothers in tow. Scotty is whipped into ropes and almost goes over, but is able to skin the cat, and get away from Buuba. Scotty then tosses Spike over the ropes and onto is brothers. Spike rolls back into the ring, and Scotty nails a bulldog. Bubba grabs Scotty's leg to break up the worm. Then, as D-von distracts the ref, Bubba pulls Scotty from the ring and pounds on him. Back in the ring, Spike sidesteps a corner charge, sending Scotty into the ring post. Spike uses the mistakes to his advantage, nailing the Dudley Dog, and pinning Scotty to retain his title

Winner via pin fall: Spike Dudley

After the match, Spike starts barking orders to his brothers, who hit Scotty with a 3-D.

It's RAW Rebound time! Get your weekly fix here, from Slam! Writer Nick Tylwalk.

Cole informs us the five match series between Booker T and John Cena will continue next week. A banner appears behind the announce position informing us the Heidenreich will also be coming next week. John Cena is backstage with Josh Matthews, when Spike Dudley interrupts him. Spike says that Cena has no gold to back up his champ claims. Cena tells Spike to get some glasses because �You can't see me!� and Spike responds with a low blow. And of course Bubba and D-Von join in on the fun, as the three beat down Cena and walk off.

Match #2 - Billy Kidman and Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble

This is a non-title match. And we know what that means. If you said the champs are going to lose, you are correct sir! London and Noble start off with some old-school mat wrestling. Chavo hits the ring, illegally, but London fights off both men and nearly scores a pin-fall on Noble. Chavo tags in and takes it to London. Noble tags back in, and a clothesline sends London to the mat. Chavo tags back in and hits a leg drop. Chavo poses in the ring, but is still able to prevent London from making a tag. A high knee to the chin lays out London. An enzugiri lays out Chavo, and then a kick to forehead takes care of Noble. London makes the hot tag, and Kidman cleans house. A standing drop kick to Chavo nearly ends the match, but Noble makes to the save. London knocks Noble off the apron with a spinning heel kick, but crashes and burns on the high-risk maneuver. Kidman hits the BK bomb on Chavo. Kidman nails a sunset flip on Chavo, but Chavo is able to reverse it with some help from Noble. Chavo then locks in the pin with some help from the ropes, and picks up the win.

Winner via pin fall: Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble

Backstage, General Manager Teddy Long orders that John Cena and the Dudleyz head to the ring. Long has a new rule on Smackdown! If you fight backstage, be prepared to fight in the ring, then. Sounds good to me.

A million dollar Tough Enough is coming to Smackdown! WOO-HOO! Not so much for Tough Enough, just the fact it's not a Diva search!

Eddie Guerrero makes his way to the ring. Eddie addresses Kurt Angle, telling him they have some unfinished business. Who is the better wrestler? Kurt may have won at SummerSlam, but Eddie won at Wrestlemania. Guerrero calls for a match right now. Kurt Angle walks out, dressed for a match as the �You Suck� chants rain down on him. Angle wants some clarification. He feels that beating Eddie at SummerSlam wasn't enough, and if he has to do it again he will. Angle asks the crowd if they want to see a match, and Angle says he is looking for some action. And then he declines the match. Angle says he doesn't need to prove he his the better wrestler, again. Eddie then challenges Angle's manhood. Angle says he won't be tricked into wrestling, tonight. Eddie then gets serious, admitting the Angle did out wrestle him, that Angle earned his respect, and they have one thing in common, the love of the business. Eddie tells Angle that he trusts that Kurt is man enough to shake his hand. Angle says he isn't buying Eddie's act. Angle decides to enter the ring, with caution. Eddie extends his hand, and Angle almost shakes. Angle eventually grabs Eddie's hand, only to be punked out! Angle is tossed to the outside, and Luther Reigns comes out to check on him. Guerrero grabs the mike and tells Kurt that he should have known better. Reigns and Angle stalk Eddie, until Rey Mysterio runs in, cleaning house.

Match #3 - John Cena vs. The Dudley

Unites States champ Booker T joins the boys at the announce table for this match. Cena stares down Booker from the ring. D-Von is the Dudley of choice tonight, and Cena tears into him. D-Von rolls out of the ring. D-Von ducks a clothesling, and shoots off the ropes, hitting Cena with a twisting elbow. Cena and D-Von trade rights. D-Von is whipped into the ropes, and Cena charges. D-Von sidesteps, but Cena is able to pull up. Cena slams D-Von to the mat, and hits the five-knuckle shuffle, for a two count. Cena pumps it up, and knocks Bubba off the apron. Cena give D-Von and big F-U, and pins for a three count.

Winner via pin fall: John Cena

Cena grabs a stick, and tells Booker he has something that belongs to him. Tonight, Booker can breath easy, but next week Cena means business, big business.

Match #4 - Rob Van Dam vs. Renee Dupree

How is RVD regulated to Heat on Sunday, but WWE finds time for Diva dodge ball at SummerSlam? My head hurts. This match also starts off with some technical wrestling. Dupree rolls away from a standing sinton. RVD corners Dupree, working him over, and then sending him flying with a monkey flip. Dupree regains control with a series of submissions. RVD hits a help kick, and then a cartwheel splash. RVD follows with a German suplex, that he holds for a two count. RVD tried for Rolling Thunder, but Dupree gets his knees up. RVD climbs to the top rope, only to get crotched on the turnbuckle. Dupree climbs the ropes and comes crashing down with RVD in a superplex. Dupree dances, but RVD is able to recover. A kick takes down Dupree, and RVD finishes him off with the Five-Star Frog splash.

Winner via pin fall: RVD

As the bell rings, Kenzo Suzuki hits the ring, and begins to pummel RVD. Suzuki finishes off RVD with his driving Russian leg sweep.

Teddy Long delivers a special tape to the production truck, where Long makes some small talk with the video girl.

Teddy Long has a major announcement. He has resigned a superstar to a Smackdown! contract. It's the Big Show! Details of the contracts have not been released, but preliminary reports have the signing bonus at one million Kripsy Kreme donuts. Long goes on to hype tonight's main event.

Match #5 - Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns

Long dances in the ring, as Eddie and Rey drive to the ring. Reigns and Eddie start things off, and Reigns over powers Latino Heat with right hands. Eddie fights his way out of the corner with a boot to the guy. Rey tags in and the faces double-team Luther. Mysterio goes for a springboard maneuver, but Reings catches him in mid-air and drops him with a back breaker. Angle tags in, stepping on Mysterio's throat. Angle tries to slow things down, but Mysterio counters with a head scissors. Eddie tags in, taking it to Eddie. An elbow drops Angle to his knees. Eddie tries for the �three amigos� but only two enter, as Reigns breaks up the third attempt. Reigns tags in and overpowers Eddie, again. Angle tags back in, and whips Eddie into the ropes. Angle distracts the ref, so Reigns can pull on the ropes, low bridging Eddie to the floor. We return from break in time to see Angle slap on the ankle lock on Eddie. Guerrero breaks free but cannot tag out. Angle tags in Reigns, and goes to work on the ankle. Angle tags back in to double team Eddie. Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and goes for the Angle Slam. Guererro counters into a DDT, and is able to finally tag in Mysterio. Reigns also tags in, and Mysterio hits a seated sinton, and then a head scissors on Reigns. Reigns catches Mysterio, but Rey counters with a head scissors that sends Reings into the ref. Angle is hit with the 619 on the outside, with Rey coming around the ring post. Back in the ring, Reigns is set up for the 619, but Angle breaks it up with a steel chair. Guerrero chases Angle off with a chair, leaving Reigns to fend for himself. Guerrero returns in time to hit Reigns with a low blow. Guerrero hits all three amigos, setting Reigns up for the 619. Mysterio delivers, and Eddie finishes him off with the frog splash.

Winner via pin fall: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio

During the end of the match, Kurt Angle returned with a can off paint. He dumped it all over the back off Eddie's low rider. After the match Eddie looks at his car in disbelief and anger as the show goes to black.

Dale Plummer has been writing for Slam! Wrestling since 2003. Dale was barely able to pull himself away from Olympic Women's Beach Volleyball to cover Smackdown! tonight. If you haven't checked out this sport yet, Dale highly recommends it.