Smackdown! stuck in a rut
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Remember when pay-per-views used to wrap up feuds?
Well, SummerSlam didn't accomplish any of that.
Undertaker will still be feuding with Undertaker, the
Dudleyz will still try to get their tag team
championship back, and John Cena still has matches
with Booker T. Okay. Maybe that last one is a bad
example. Michael Cole and Tazz bring us all the
Smackdown! Excitement from Hamilton, Ontario.
Reigning WWE champion John Bradshaw Layfield
starts off the show, and shocks everyone by sporting a
neck brace/harness as he gets out of his limo.
Bradshaw walks to the ring cautiously, with help from
his Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan. Once in the ring,
JBL addresses the crowd, announcing he is great pain.
JBL heels on Canada, and the Canadian health care
system. Jordan grabs the mike and tells the hostile
Canadian crowd to show some respect. JBL says he had a
dream, that dream was beating the Undertaker 1-2-3 for
the greatest victory in his career. Bradshaw then
shows footage of his SummerSlam match with ŽTaker.
Bradshaw narrates the still photomontage. And now this
is turning into the segment that never ends. Finally,
Bradshaw announces that the Undertaker will not get a
rematch. Cue the bells. Enter the Dead Man. JBL and
Jordan freak out, as the Undertaker strides to the
ring. Jordan grabs a chair preparing to defend his
boss. JBL rolls out of the ring, and tries to escape
through the crowd. Looks like JBL forget something.
Undertaker grabs the title belt, and stands in the
ring, as the champ makes his way through the crowd.
Match #1 - Spike Dudley vs. Scotty II Hotty -
Cruiserweight Title Match
Spike comes to the with his older brothers in tow.
Scotty is whipped into ropes and almost goes over, but
is able to skin the cat, and get away from Buuba.
Scotty then tosses Spike over the ropes and onto is
brothers. Spike rolls back into the ring, and Scotty
nails a bulldog. Bubba grabs Scotty's leg to break up
the worm. Then, as D-von distracts the ref, Bubba
pulls Scotty from the ring and pounds on him. Back in
the ring, Spike sidesteps a corner charge, sending
Scotty into the ring post. Spike uses the mistakes to
his advantage, nailing the Dudley Dog, and pinning
Scotty to retain his title
Winner via pin fall: Spike Dudley
After the match, Spike starts barking orders to
his brothers, who hit Scotty with a 3-D.
It's RAW Rebound time! Get your weekly fix here,
from Slam! Writer Nick Tylwalk.
Cole informs us the five match series between
Booker T and John Cena will continue next week. A
banner appears behind the announce position informing
us the Heidenreich will also be coming next week. John
Cena is backstage with Josh Matthews, when Spike
Dudley interrupts him. Spike says that Cena has no
gold to back up his champ claims. Cena tells Spike to
get some glasses because žYou can't see me!Ó and Spike
responds with a low blow. And of course Bubba and
D-Von join in on the fun, as the three beat down Cena
and walk off.
Match #2 - Billy Kidman and Paul London vs.
Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble
This is a non-title match. And we know what that
means. If you said the champs are going to lose, you
are correct sir! London and Noble start off with some
old-school mat wrestling. Chavo hits the ring,
illegally, but London fights off both men and nearly
scores a pin-fall on Noble. Chavo tags in and takes it
to London. Noble tags back in, and a clothesline sends
London to the mat. Chavo tags back in and hits a leg
drop. Chavo poses in the ring, but is still able to
prevent London from making a tag. A high knee to the
chin lays out London. An enzugiri lays out Chavo, and
then a kick to forehead takes care of Noble. London
makes the hot tag, and Kidman cleans house. A standing
drop kick to Chavo nearly ends the match, but Noble
makes to the save. London knocks Noble off the apron
with a spinning heel kick, but crashes and burns on
the high-risk maneuver. Kidman hits the BK bomb on
Chavo. Kidman nails a sunset flip on Chavo, but Chavo
is able to reverse it with some help from Noble. Chavo
then locks in the pin with some help from the ropes,
and picks up the win.
Winner via pin fall: Chavo Guerrero and Jamie
Backstage, General Manager Teddy Long orders that
John Cena and the Dudleyz head to the ring. Long has a
new rule on Smackdown! If you fight backstage, be
prepared to fight in the ring, then. Sounds good to
A million dollar Tough Enough is coming to
Smackdown! WOO-HOO! Not so much for Tough Enough, just
the fact it's not a Diva search!
Eddie Guerrero makes his way to the ring. Eddie
addresses Kurt Angle, telling him they have some
unfinished business. Who is the better wrestler? Kurt
may have won at SummerSlam, but Eddie won at
Wrestlemania. Guerrero calls for a match right now.
Kurt Angle walks out, dressed for a match as the žYou
SuckÓ chants rain down on him. Angle wants some
clarification. He feels that beating Eddie at
SummerSlam wasn't enough, and if he has to do it again
he will. Angle asks the crowd if they want to see a
match, and Angle says he is looking for some action.
And then he declines the match. Angle says he doesn't
need to prove he his the better wrestler, again. Eddie
then challenges Angle's manhood. Angle says he won't
be tricked into wrestling, tonight. Eddie then gets
serious, admitting the Angle did out wrestle him, that
Angle earned his respect, and they have one thing in
common, the love of the business. Eddie tells Angle
that he trusts that Kurt is man enough to shake his
hand. Angle says he isn't buying Eddie's act. Angle
decides to enter the ring, with caution. Eddie extends
his hand, and Angle almost shakes. Angle eventually
grabs Eddie's hand, only to be punked out! Angle is
tossed to the outside, and Luther Reigns comes out to
check on him. Guerrero grabs the mike and tells Kurt
that he should have known better. Reigns and Angle
stalk Eddie, until Rey Mysterio runs in, cleaning
Match #3 - John Cena vs. The Dudley
Unites States champ Booker T joins the boys at the
announce table for this match. Cena stares down Booker
from the ring. D-Von is the Dudley of choice tonight,
and Cena tears into him. D-Von rolls out of the ring.
D-Von ducks a clothesling, and shoots off the ropes,
hitting Cena with a twisting elbow. Cena and D-Von
trade rights. D-Von is whipped into the ropes, and
Cena charges. D-Von sidesteps, but Cena is able to
pull up. Cena slams D-Von to the mat, and hits the
five-knuckle shuffle, for a two count. Cena pumps it
up, and knocks Bubba off the apron. Cena give D-Von
and big F-U, and pins for a three count.
Winner via pin fall: John Cena
Cena grabs a stick, and tells Booker he has
something that belongs to him. Tonight, Booker can
breath easy, but next week Cena means business, big
Match #4 - Rob Van Dam vs. Renee Dupree
How is RVD regulated to Heat on Sunday, but WWE
finds time for Diva dodge ball at SummerSlam? My head
hurts. This match also starts off with some technical
wrestling. Dupree rolls away from a standing sinton.
RVD corners Dupree, working him over, and then sending
him flying with a monkey flip. Dupree regains control
with a series of submissions. RVD hits a help kick,
and then a cartwheel splash. RVD follows with a German
suplex, that he holds for a two count. RVD tried for
Rolling Thunder, but Dupree gets his knees up. RVD
climbs to the top rope, only to get crotched on the
turnbuckle. Dupree climbs the ropes and comes crashing
down with RVD in a superplex. Dupree dances, but RVD
is able to recover. A kick takes down Dupree, and RVD
finishes him off with the Five-Star Frog splash.
Winner via pin fall: RVD
As the bell rings, Kenzo Suzuki hits the ring, and
begins to pummel RVD. Suzuki finishes off RVD with his
driving Russian leg sweep.
Teddy Long delivers a special tape to the
production truck, where Long makes some small talk
with the video girl.
Teddy Long has a major announcement. He has
resigned a superstar to a Smackdown! contract. It's
the Big Show! Details of the contracts have not been
released, but preliminary reports have the signing
bonus at one million Kripsy Kreme donuts. Long goes on
to hype tonight's main event.
Match #5 - Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs.
Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns
Long dances in the ring, as Eddie and Rey drive to
the ring. Reigns and Eddie start things off, and
Reigns over powers Latino Heat with right hands. Eddie
fights his way out of the corner with a boot to the
guy. Rey tags in and the faces double-team Luther.
Mysterio goes for a springboard maneuver, but Reings
catches him in mid-air and drops him with a back
breaker. Angle tags in, stepping on Mysterio's throat.
Angle tries to slow things down, but Mysterio
counters with a head scissors. Eddie tags in, taking
it to Eddie. An elbow drops Angle to his knees. Eddie
tries for the žthree amigosÓ but only two enter, as
Reigns breaks up the third attempt. Reigns tags in and
overpowers Eddie, again. Angle tags back in, and whips
Eddie into the ropes. Angle distracts the ref, so
Reigns can pull on the ropes, low bridging Eddie to
the floor. We return from break in time to see Angle
slap on the ankle lock on Eddie. Guerrero breaks free
but cannot tag out. Angle tags in Reigns, and goes to
work on the ankle. Angle tags back in to double team
Eddie. Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex,
and goes for the Angle Slam. Guererro counters into a
DDT, and is able to finally tag in Mysterio. Reigns
also tags in, and Mysterio hits a seated sinton, and
then a head scissors on Reigns. Reigns catches
Mysterio, but Rey counters with a head scissors that
sends Reings into the ref. Angle is hit with the 619
on the outside, with Rey coming around the ring post.
Back in the ring, Reigns is set up for the 619, but
Angle breaks it up with a steel chair. Guerrero chases
Angle off with a chair, leaving Reigns to fend for
himself. Guerrero returns in time to hit Reigns with a
low blow. Guerrero hits all three amigos, setting
Reigns up for the 619. Mysterio delivers, and Eddie
finishes him off with the frog splash.
Winner via pin fall: Eddie Guerrero and Rey
During the end of the match, Kurt Angle returned
with a can off paint. He dumped it all over the back
off Eddie's low rider. After the match Eddie looks at
his car in disbelief and anger as the show goes to
Dale Plummer has been writing for Slam!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale was barely able to pull
himself away from Olympic Women's Beach Volleyball to
cover Smackdown! tonight. If you haven't checked out
this sport yet, Dale highly recommends it.