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Smackdown: 'You're Fired!' sale in progress
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


With Kurt Angle no longer 'injured', will he be returning to the active roster? If so, who will take over as General Manager? More importantly, is the Eddie Guerrero-John Bradshaw Layfield feud finally over? Will we get the answers on tonight's Smackdown from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? Why wasn't I there in person, since it was so close to home? When will I stop asking questions?

Kurt Angle is wheeled out to the ring by Luther Raines. If he's collecting workers comp, the insurance company is looking at a nice lawsuit. We all saw him in the ring last week, looking very active. Angle uses a crutch in the ring, keeping the charade alive. Angle tells the crowd that he has been called a liar and con artist, and it hurts. Angle explains he sucked up the pain, and did what he had to do so Eddie Guerrero wouldn't win the championship. Angle calls his actions a miracle, but he has done further damage to his body. Angle says he can fire Eddie on the spot, unless Guerrero gets on his knees and begs for his job. Angle decides he needs to show Eddie an example, so he calls ring announcer, and hometown boy, Tony Chimmel into the ring. Angle tells Chimmel he is a significant person in his career, because he announced Angle's last match, a loss to Eddie Guerrero. He makes Chimmel beg for his job back, but Angle does his best impression on 'The Don' and fires him anyway. I'm accepting a phone call any second, now.

Cena heads to the back, looking for Angle. Cena kicks the door in to Angle's office, and pulls the G.M. out of his wheelchair. Luther Raines makes the save, but pays for it as Cena throws Raines through a wall. Security intervenes, and pulls Cena out of Kurt's office. And Luther Raines is out cold.

Match #1 - Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble vs. Spike Dudley - No. 1 Contender Cruiserweight Title Triple Threat Match

Josh Matthews is the new ring announcer! WWE must have lost my resume. Chavo and Jamie team up on Spike to start the match. Chavo accidentally takes out Noble, allowing Spike to go to town on him. Spike takes down Chavo, and then clotheslines Noble. Chavo breaks up the pinfall. Noble is tossed out of the ring by Chavo and then rolled up by Spike. Chavo hits a suicide plancha on Noble outside the ring, and Spike follows with a crossbody from the top rope. Back in the ring, Chavo hits Noble with a suplex, but Spike breaks up the pinfall. Noble counters the Dudley Dog into a Tiger Driver, but is clotheslined by Chavo before he can hit it. Spike is able to hit Chavo with a Dudley Dog, and covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Spike Dudley

Footage from the Japanese tour is aired. I think I saw Ultimo Dragon in the footage! He is still alive!

The Smackdown Divas (Miss Jackie, Torrie, Dawn Marie, and Sable) are complaining to Kurt Angle that they are being misused on the show. Angle agrees with them, and is booking them in a Fatal-Four-Way lingerie match.

Match #2 - Bubba Ray Dudley w/ D-Von vs. Billy Kidman w/ Paul London

Bubba pushes Kidman into the corner, and then slaps on a side head lock. Kidman tries to knock down Bubba with a clothesline to no success. He is able to take him down with a leg scissors, though. Kidman shoots off the ropes, but Bubba catches him with a spinebuster. Bubba then follows with a falling headbutt. Kidman responds with forearms to Bubba, but is stopped in his tracks by an eye rake. An enzugiri knocks out Bubba. Kidman goes to the top rope, but is pushed off by D-Von. Paul London chases D-Von to the back, but the damage was done. Bubba hits the Bubba bomb, and covers Kidman for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Bubba Ray Dudley

Funaki is backstage to bring us an exclusive report. Kurt Angle proudly announces the next week he will name Booker T the U.S. Champion. After the show, he will meet with the board of directors to clear the decision. Funaki tells Angle that his decision isn't fair. In Donald Trump mode, again, Angle fires Funaki.

The Dudleyz congratulate Spike on his win. Spike isn't happy with their interference from last week. Bubba makes Spike a deal. Bubba says if Spike doesn't get involved in D-Von's match tonight, they won't get involved with Spike's match next week. Spike agrees, but isn't thrilled when he finds out that D-von will be taking on Rey Mysterio, tonight.

WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield heads to the ring. Earlier in the day Bradshaw visited the Philadelphia Stock Exchange, and all had a good time. JBL addresses the Philadelphia crowd, taking shots at three of the four sports franchises. He announces a Rocky Challenge. JBL brings out a local wrestler. If he beats JBL, he will get a title shot at Summerslam.

Match #3 - JBL vs. 'Rocky'

I don't know his name, so I call him Rocky. JBL overwhelms the young challenger. A fall away slam followed by a power bomb puts down the challenger. JBL drags the kid to his feet, only to level him with a Clothesline from Hell. JBL covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: JBL

Bradshaw gets on the mike, and says he's sorry the kid won't be going to Summerslam. He also says he's sorry the he won't have a match at Summerslam, and that there is no one worthy of facing him. And the lights go out, cue the tolling bell. I think you know what's coming. The Undertaker strides to the ring; chokeslams Bradshaw, grabs the stick and says, "You ... Me ... Summerslam." Then walks back off into the darkness.

Paul Heyman pushes his new boy, John Heidenreich. Heyman has a vision--to have another protege jump ship for the NFL.

Match #4 - Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie vs. Sable - Fatal Four Way Lingerie Match

The Divas make their way to the ring. The ladies disrobe, but before the actions can start, Kurt Angle comes to the top of the ramp. Angle says there has been a misunderstanding, the Divas aren't misused-- they're useless. Channeling the Don, once again, Angle fires all four ladies. If this leads to a Smackdown! Divas search, I'm going to hurt someone.

Match #5 - D-Von Dudley w/ Bubba vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey starts with a kick to D-Von, that sets of the Dudley. Rey ducks a clothesline, and D-Von sidesteps a springboard moonsault. Rey lands on his feet, but is take down by D-Von. Rey powers out of a submission, and then fights off D-Von on the top rope. Mysterio nails a seated senton. D-Von responds with a clothesline. Mysterio fights out of a powerbomb on the apron, and Rey brings him into the ring with a head scissors. Bubba trips up Rey to stop the 6-1-9, when Billy Kidman and Paul London run in to stop Bubba. Kidman pushes D-Von off the top rope. Mysterio drops on D-Von off the top rope, and covers for the win.

Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio

It's time for the Raw Rebound. Catch Nick Tylwalk's report here.

Match #6 - John Cena vs. Luther Raines

I appreciate John Cena paying respect to the late, great Jerome Brown with the Eagles '99' jersey. Raines go after Cena with a kick to the gut, and then a clothesline. Cena is tossed from the ring. Back in the ring, Cena shoots off the ropes, only to run right into a clothesline. Raines then nails a double arm suplex. Cena kicks out after a two count. Cena fights out of a chin lock, but is planted by Raines. Raines misses a knee drop, and Cena fights back with right hands. He takes down Raines with a shoulder block, and follows with a sideslam. Cena ducks a right hand, and nails a spinning back suplex. Raines gets hit with the five-knuckle shuffle. Back on his feet, Raines tosses Cena into the ref. Raines is taken down with a DDT, when Booker T walks to the ring with the U.S. title belt. Raines clubs Cena from behind, as Booker jumps up on the apron. Raines holds Cena, but Cena ducks a shot from the title belt, and Booker clocks Raines. Cena covers, as the ref comes to, and picks up the win.

Winner via pinfall: John Cena

Kurt Angle stands in the center of the ring and calls out Eddie Guerrero. Angle says you don't cross the boss. The crowd calls for Eddie, but Vince McMahon's music hits. Vince struts to the ring. Vince says Angle seems to enjoy firing people and throwing his weight around. The Chairman is upset that Angle fooled everyone with his injuries. Vince tells everyone that he was going to be nominated for a humanitarian award for having a handicapped GM. Vince then asks Angle for his resignation. Angle begs for his job, still playing the injury angle. Vince then utters those fateful words, "You're fired!" Angle tosses his crutch at the boss. Vince grabs it and chases Angle around the ring. Vince is convinced that Angle is 1005, so he places him back on the active roster. Vince then books him in a match at Summerslam against ... Eddie Guerrero. Cue Eddie! Guerrero rides to the ring and offers Vince a ride in his low-rider. The show ends with Vince bouncing in Eddie's ride. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Vince just turned face!


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  • Tired of the current product? Go retro: Jushin Liger, Great Sasuke, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Super Delphin, Negro Casas, Taka Michinoku, Shinjiro Otani, Dean Malenko, Gedo, Hayabusa, and more!
    Super J Cup 1994 (04-16-94) Double DVD-R

    Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is still looking for answers. If you have them drop an email at Dplummer627@yahoo.com.