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Smackdown: Cage match prolongs JBL's reign
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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It's amazing how far WWE has fallen, when last
week's decent episode of Smackdown! can be called a
success. It'll be even more amazing if WWE can build
off of it as Michael Cole and Tazz call the action
from Providence, Rhode Island. It's even more amazing
that the next Pay-Per-View is over a month away.
Booker T kicks off the show by heading to the ring
a jabbering about being the 'five-time' WCW champ.
He's starting to sound like a Steelers fan. All the
championships were in the past, Booker, the long past.
Booker then calls for Kurt Angle to give him what's
rightfully his, the U.S. Title. Angle doesn't show,
but Renee Dupree does. Dupree lays his claim to the
title, by saying he has the class and culture to hold
the title. Who's next to come out? RVD? No, it's Kenzo
Suzuki. When is he going to realize that we don't
speak Japanese? Hiriko translates. Kenzo should be
champ because he loves America. Booker dares him to
say something in English. Suzuki rips off Booker T's
catchphrase. It's about time; the Doctor of
Thug-a-nomics breaks up the meeting of "We are the
World". Cena then figures it out; it's the Wizard of
Oz. Cena takes verbal jabs at everyone, including
Michael Cole. He tells them this isn't Kansas, its
John Cena country. And he's here to see the wonderful
wizard of Smackdown to get back his U.S. Title.
Cena heads to the back, looking for Angle. Cena
kicks the door in to Angle's office, and pulls the
G.M. out of his wheelchair. Luther Raines makes the
save, but pays for it as Cena throws Raines through a
wall. Security intervenes, and pulls Cena out of
Kurt's office. And Luther Raines is out cold.
Match #1 - Rey Mysterio and Spike Dudley vs.
Chavo Guerrero and Jamie Noble.
More Cruiserweights! Two words that instantly make
Smackdown! better. Is it too soon to put up signs
asking the whereabouts of Ultimo Dragon? Anyway, Noble
and Spike start off the match, then Chavo tags in
quickly and nearly get rolled up. A sidewalk slam
spikes Spike, and Mysterio breaks the pin. Noble and
Chavo double-team Spike, but are hit with a
springboard cross body from Mysterio. Rey then nails
Noble with a suicide dive through the ropes. Mysterio
is double-teamed, but reverses his fortune with a dual
bulldog. Spike gets the hot tag, and plants Chavo and
then hits Noble with a leg scissors followed by an
atomic drop. Chavo saves his partner, but pays for hit
when Mysterio kicks him into the ropes and hits the
6-1-9. Spike hits Noble with a Dudley Dog, but Chavo
saves the match by pulling Spike off Noble. Noble
recovers to hit the tiger driver, when D-Von Dudley
jumps on the apron. A distracted ref doesn't see Bubba
Ray move in from behind and low blow Jamie Noble.
Spike covers for the win, but isn't happy with his
brothers' help.
Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio and Spike
Dudley
It's a little early for the RAW rebound, read all
about it in Nick Tylwalk's report. I have to go now;
I'm starting to have flashbacks.
Recap of the Bradshaw/Guerrero feud. Someone wake
me when this is over. Not the segment, the feud.
Luther Raines is being attended to in Angle's
office. Angle tells a paramedic he heard his knee pop,
and then announces that Cena will take on Booker T,
Renee Dupree, and Kenzo Suzuki in a handicapped match.
Match #2 - John Cena vs. Booker T, Renee
Dupree, and Kenzo Suzuki - Handicap Elimination Match
Cena warily enters the ring. Dupree starts things
off by beating Cena down. Cena ducks under an elbow,
and hits a shoulder block after coming off the ropes.
We come back from commercial to find Cena in control.
A woozy Dupree tags in Kenzo Suzuki. A big chop to
Cena's chest breaks a side headlock. Suzuki is nearly
DQ'ed by choking Cena, and then is disqualified after
Suzuki's chokes Cena with Hiroko's scarf. With the
bronze warrior gone, Dupree jumps in. Dupree is
catapulted into the corner, and then Cena rolls him up
for the pin. Booker T takes control with a snap mare,
and then drops a knee to the throat of Cena. Cena
fights with right hands, but runs right into a spine
buster. Booker T measures up Cena, and takes him down
with a thrust kick to the chest. Cena and Booker T
exchange rights. Booker T is in trouble after a side
slam but is able to kick out. Cena connects with the
five-knuckle shuffle, but can't get the pin. Cena
pumps up his shoes, but is low bridged by Booker.
Luther Raines attacks Cena from behind, and tosses him
into the ring post. Cena is rolled back into the ring.
Booker nails a groggy Cena with an axe kick, and
Booker covers for the win.
Winner via pin fall: Booker T
A promo for John Heidenrich airs. Apparently, no
one has given this man a chance, until now, and the
man giving him the chance ... Paul Heyman.
Josh Matthews asks Eddie Guerrero to address the
controversy over El Gran Luchador last week. Eddie
says they are good friends, and tonight JBL won't be
able to run away from him in the steel cage.
In case you missed there are new tag team champs
on Smackdown! Billy Kidman and Paul London beat the
Dudleyz.
Match #3 - D-Von Dudley w/ Bubba Ray vs. Paul
London w/ Billy Kidman
D-von overpowers London to start off the match.
D-von goes for an early pin, but London kicks out.
London finally turns the tables, knocking D-von down
with a drop kick, and then nailing an enzugiri.
London is tossed from the ring, and Bubba goes to work
with a belt. D-von slaps on a submission with some
help from Bubba, but London is able to roll up D-von,
after Bubba is knocked from the apron.
Winner via pin fall: Paul London
Angle is telling Luther that tonight is a night no
one will forget. Luther says he wants Cena in the
ring, so Angle grants him the match. Next week.
That'll keep 'em coming back.
Match #4 - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie
Guerrero - WWE Championship Steel Cage Match
JBL tries to escape early, but with 35 minutes
left in the show, I don't think he's going to make it.
And now JBL tries to get out, I'm not buying it. Eddie
smacks JBL's head off the steel supports. The champ
falls to the mat, and Eddie lines up a frog splash.
Bradshaw rolls out of the way. Eddie fires up with
right hands and kicks. Latino Heat follows with the
'Three Amigos'. Eddie is cut off at the top rope, JBL
nails him with a superplex from the top rope, and both
men are down as we cut to commercial.
JBL is in control as we return. Guerrero counters
an attempted clothesline from Hell with a standing
drop kick. Eddie cuts off Bradshaw from climbing out
of the cage, and both men hit the mat hard. JBL slaps
on a sleeper. Eddie spins around, and is able to toss
JBL into the cage. Eddie then tosses the champ into
the cage face first. JBL hits the clothesline from
Hell coming off the ropes, but Eddie is able to kick
out.
Bradshaw is trying to escape as we return.
Guerrero is able to catch him a pull him back in.
Eddie counters a fall away slam with a DDT. Eddie
covers, but JBL just kicks out. Eddie climbs the cage,
and JBL catches the one leg of Latino Heat, and is
able to pull him back in. Bradshaw sets Eddie up and
nails a power bomb. The champ covers, and Eddie gets a
shoulder up. Guerrero catches JBL escaping again, and
kicks Bradshaw to the mat. Eddie climbs to the top of
the cage, but instead of dropping to the floor, he
goes for the frog splash. And he hits it from the top
of the cage! Guerrero is down and so is JBL. Eddie
covers, but only for a two count. Both men rise, and
Bradshaw drops Guerrero with a DDT. Bradshaw climbs
the cage, slowly. Eddie also starts climbing and the
two meet at the top. El Gran Luchador runs to the
ring and climbs in the cage. EL Gran Luchadore grabs
Eddie's leg, allowing JBL to win. Eddie is then tossed
into the ring.
Winner via escape: John Bradshaw Layfield
El Gran Luchadore tries to use the door, but it's
locked. He starts to climb, but is caught by Eddie.
The Luchador is unmasked as he hits the floor. El Gran
Luchador is Kurt Angle. If he was collecting worker's
comp, I smell a lawsuit.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003. Dale is looking to recruit
roller hockey players to fill in for the injured Nick
Tylwalk. Email your stats to Dplummer627@yahoo.com.
