SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   Tue, July 6, 2004



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

Raw in Detroit


WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs ... and Stairs


NXT Takeover: [R] Evolution


WWE Survivor Series


House of Hardcore VII


Signmania VIII


Beulah McGillicutty







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





RAW: Let Eugene's games begin
By NICK TYLWALK - SLAM! Wrestling




Rejoice Manitoba. Raw comes to us live tonight from Chris Jericho's hometown - if the WWE actually acknowledges it - of Winnipeg. Actually, Raw is coming to me on tape delay on my trusty VCR, which could come in handy if there are multiple Diva Search segments. In any case, Eric Bischoff is on vacation tonight, and his nephew Eugene is in charge for the evening. All kinds of possibilities for wackiness come to mind just six days out from Vengeance. Let's go to the tape.

Jerry "The King" Lawler, Stacy Keibler, Tajiri, Tyson Tomko and The Coach are already in the ring, and they're soon joined by a confused looking Ric Flair. Hometown boy Jericho follows, and he is indeed announced as "Winnipeg's own." Six chairs are also set up in the ring, and their purpose becomes clear when Eugene comes to the stage. The acting general manager promises someone a title shot tonight, but only if they energe victorious... in a game of musical chairs. When the music starts ("Pop Goes the Weasel"), only King and Keibler play. But when the music stops, the others scramble for a seat, and Tajiri finds himself the odd man out, much to the delight of The Coach. He gets a dose of the green mist for laughing, rendering him blind for the second round and without a seat. King is out third, and Flair trips Stacy to knock her out fourth. The Nature Boy gets his comeuppance when he's too busy strutting to get a seat during a quick start and stop, and then there were two. Tomko and Jericho circle, and Tyson is in front when the music stops. Jericho pulls the chair away from him, hits him in the gut and takes a seat to win the game. The enthusiastic fans learn that Jericho's reward will be an Intercontinental Title shot against Randy Orton later tonight. Hey, I've seen worse ways to give out title shots.

Match 1 - La Resistance vs. Rhyno and Val Venis

Unsuccessful with Sgt. Slaughter as his partner last week, Rhyno regroups with Venis for another go-round with the tag team champs. He has his hands full in the early going before finally tagging in Val, who hits Rob Conway with a half-nelson slam and a sit-down power bomb and forces Sylvain Grenier to make the save. All four men get into it, but Rhyno is tripped and crotched on the ringpost when he looks for a Gore. That leaves Venis easy pickings for the Au Revoir, which fittingly means goodbye for the faces.

Someone's a little cranky. Orton whines to his Evolution teammates Flair and Batista about the unfairness of Triple H making Eugene and honorary member of Evolution and his defense against Jericho. Flair is even more upset at his participation in the musical chairs affair, but Batista does his best to calm him down. That soon goes by the wayside when Eugene emerges from his office (a Moon Bounce, fittingly) and books Batista to face Kane tonight and Flair for a tag team title shot at Vengeance with Eugene as his partner. Have a nice day! Wait, that's someone else.

Triple H heads to the ring for what is sure to be a long-winded promo. The Game calls Chris Benoit's title reign a miracle and makes the usual promise to end it at Vengeance. He claims no one can stop him, but he's interrupted by the arrival of Edge. The young Canadian muses that Evolution has been running things on Raw since he was out with an injury but figures it's time for a change, starting with Orton losing this Sunday. Then, he promises, he'll take down each member of Evolution one by one. Triple H says he's heard that line a million times, from people like Foley, Austin, Rock, Benoit and Michaels. What makes Edge any different? He answers with a series of right hands, and the remainder of Evolution is quick to rush to their leader's aid. Edge does the smart thing by escaping over the rail into the crowd, but not before he gives Orton something to think about with a stiff right hand to the face.

Match 2 - Kane vs. Batista

The two behemoths go right at each other, with Kane getting the upper hand thanks to a sidewalk slam. Batista elbows out of a chokeslam attempt and nails a spinebuster only to see the Big Red Machine sit right back up. A kick to the face takes Batista to the floor, but when Kane tries to follow up, he finds himself under assault from Matt Hardy. Lita's enraged boyfriend brings the match to a DQ finish by repeatedly ramming Kane's head into the steps until a gaggle of refs can get him under control.

Interviewed backstage about his upcoming No Disqualification Match with Kane at Vengeance, Hardy likes his chances. He refuses to answer any questions about Lita or the baby though. After that, the Diva Search moves to Los Angeles and the fast-forward button on my VCR remote earns its keep.

Match 3 - Randy Orton (champion) vs. Chris Jericho (challenger) - Intercontinental Title Match

It's hold and counter-hold early until Jericho seizes the momentum with chops and a vertical suplex. He comes flying out of the corner right into an Orton dropkick, and the champ gets a near fall before slowing the pace with a neck vise. Jericho fires back with a reverse elbow off the top rope that starts a series of near falls, ending with a running enzuigiri that has Orton scrambling to get his foot on the ropes to stop the count. A back body drop dumps Randy out to the floor, and the arrival of Batista at ringside also means it's time for a word from our sponsors. Batista low bridges Jericho after the break and sends him hard into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Orton works Jericho's shoulder... and keeps working it... and keeps working it. This goes on for quite a while. Finally a double clothesline puts both men down. Thanks for that. Jericho rallies with a flying foream and sets up for the Walls of Jericho, but Orton powers his way out with his legs. Both men exchange two counts again, but Orton gains the upper hand by dodging a charge into the corner that has Jericho hit his shoulder on the post yet again. Y2J recovers in time to chase Orton up to the top turnbuckle, but the champ recovers and prevents a superplex. A cross body off the top isn't enough to put Jericho away, and he recovers quickly to hit a bulldog and dropkick Batista off the apron. The RKO is reversed into the Walls of Jericho, but Batista is back on the apron to distract the challenger. Naturally, Orton uses the distraction to roll Jericho up from behind. With a little help from the ropes for leverage, that's enough to put the hometown boy down for the count.

Triple H is enjoying Eugene's "office" and asks whether or not they have a deal. They do, so The Game makes a painful looking exit and regroups with Flair. The eldest Evolution member is still unhappy about tagging with Eugene, but Hunter promises he has a plan that will become apparent during tonight's main event, which will pit Flair, Eugene and HHH against Benoit and Edge. Trust him. The SmackDown Rebound suggests that the temperature in Hell must be dropping because Bradshaw is the WWE Champion. Go back and read that last sentence again.

Match 4 - Victoria vs. Molly Holly vs. Nidia - Number One Contenders Contract on a Pole Match

This seems simple enough. The first lady to grab the contract from the top of the pole gets a women's title shot against Trish Stratus when she decides she is healed up enough from her broken wrist to compete. She and Tomko join the announcers and babble while the action goes on. Suffice it to say, while Victoria and Molly are focused on each other, Nidia sneaks up and wins the match. Trish comes up to congratulate her on the win, then clocks her in the face with her cast. With Nidia out cold, Trish decides she's okay to have a title match, so...

Match 5 - Nidia (challenger) vs. Trish Stratus (champion) - Women's Title Match

Whoops, my opponent is unconscious. I guess all I have to do is cover her and have the ref count to three. Tee-hee!

Another Diva Search segment gives me another chance to hit the FF button. Next up is the rundown of the Vengeance card. This would be a great place for a joke about hitting the FF button again, but that wouldn't be very nice. Backstage, Trish and Tyson run into Lita, and Trish calls her a slut because she is with child. Um, pot... kettle... black. And finally, Triple H gets into Eugene's head, reminding the youngster that Benoit and Edge represent all the people who ever made fun of him. Trips says they'll win together as friends, and Eugene adds "best friends."

Main Event - Evolution (Triple H, Ric Flair and Eugene) vs. Edge and Chris Benoit

Benoit tries to hold back facing Eugene, but eventually he has no choice but to wrestle him. Trips tags in to hit the facebuster and try a Pedigree, but a back body drop takes care of that. The Wolverine applies a Crippler Crossface that forces Eugene to make a save, and pretty soon Flair is bashing Benoit into the steps as we break one last time for a commercial. We return to find Benoit in a sleeper, though he quickly suplexes his way out. Tags are made to Flair and Edge and the Canadian runs wild. A spear to Flair accidentally knocks Eugene off the apron, angering the acting GM to the point where he assaults Edge. A rare "Eugene sucks" chant rings out as the heels take turns working Edge's arm. A desperation enzuigiri puts Flair down and allows the hot tag to Benoit. The Crippler snaps off three rolling German suplexes and drops the diving headbutt on Helmsley while Edge neutralizes Flair. But Triple H hurls Benoit into Eugene and the ref, then grabs a steel chair, which quickly makes its way into Benoit's hands, then Eugene's. HHH ends up locked in the Sharpshooter, and even though he agonizes over the decision, Eugene saves his "best friend" with a chair shot. The Game pins Benoit with a Pedigree, making it appear that he does indeed have the upper hand going into Vengeance. Of course, the better question will be whether or not the viewing public even cares enough to tune in. If you don't, check back here at SLAM! Wrestling for full results.

Nick Tylwalk has been a SLAM! Wrestling contributor since 1998, but has never been named acting GM of Raw. Discuss this traveshamockery (a travesty, a sham and a mockery) at ntylwalk7@yahoo.com.